Category Archives: Thankfulness

Nelson’s journal 2/7/2

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God is teaching Nelson flexibility in regard to making plans for the future. In this journal entry he’s bringing the past into the present, acknowledging that the Lord has led him through past years and would most likely lead him into the future. In a sense he’s reassuring himself that whatever he decides about the electrician’s job proposal (which he refers to as being “boxed in”), God will let him know what the best decision will be.

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February 7, 2022

I’m thinking about a new MacBook. Annso has been saying to do it for some time now. I’ve had this one for 10 years. It’s been that long since I was in the Titus project out in Montana, 2012.

I keep coming back to Hawaii and here we are now, all this time later. Ecclesiastes says, “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.” (Ecclesiastes 7:14)

We are in less control than we think. We move here and there, but really, God moves us or allows us to be moved around to suit the way he ordained for us. We can’t know the future, which is better for us anyway.

Lord, since you know already where we’ll go and what we’ll end up doing, I pray for the ability to wait on you instead of getting ahead or lagging behind. We want your best, Lord. As much fear as I can have about getting stuck or boxed in by new rules, I know you know…. and I’m grateful for that. 

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“In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” (Psalm 5:3)

Nelson’s Journal, 2/3/22

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Nelson has no idea that by the end of this month, he will begin feeling poorly in several ways. His symptoms are mysterious and unwelcome, and they don’t even hint at the disastrous diagnosis they will ultimately reveal.

Heavily on his mind at the beginning of February is whether or not he and Ann Sophie should schedule a break from the day and night pace of working with YWAM while pastoring a church. Soon they would become parents, and Nelson planned to be very much involved in parenting the little boy God was preparing to them.

Repeatedly in his journal he has asked what God thinks about making a big shift. Logic tells him that with the baby coming soon, there’s no time like the present to tackle the decision. The problem was all the questions that came to mind when he tried to puzzle it out. Should they give up one of their commitments? And if so, which one(s)? And when? And if they left, where would they go? To do what?

Nelson senses big changes coming but has no idea how extensive they’ll be. He is also unaware that in the end, he won’t have to decide anything, because God Himself is going to step in and do it for him.

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February 3, 2022

Early morning, still dark at our place at Hale Ola. Annso in the next room, pregnant as all get-out.

We’re packed up for the termite tenting today [all food double bagged, right], but first a beach staff meeting. Should be better than usual, with just 4 of us today.

Seems that whoever we have on staff over the years, people really need these meetings to unload and get stuff off their chest, though sometimes it lands on us. That can be really stressful, but it’s part of the job.

I am looking forward to a break from YWAM but not sure what exactly it will play out like. It’s the 3rd day of February, 2022. The date seems unreal. The 1990’s seems like ancient times. Actually, time is going so fast, 2019 seems like the old days but it was just 3 years ago.

Lord, I’m thankful for all of it. Thank you for the uncertainty and the certainty, although there is much more in the first category. Thank you for the joy you brought through Annso and the prophecy from Mom years ago to that effect. You are so nice to me, and I deserve none of it, especially not her. We have our little challenges here and there, but mostly, we get along so well.

I pray for the wisdom on how to do our taxes. Seems I vacillate between being overly honest to the point where we hurt ourselves and don’t need to, and just not reporting things we probably should. You have been so kind to me after all my trouble with the IRS in the past. We have no debt, no financial trouble at all, and you have given us all sorts of income streams. Being in Hawaii, it’s easy to rent things out [scooters, cars], and that helps.

I pray you would guide us in this transition, possibly into living off campus and not running the Kokua Crew anymore. It’s not our ministry anyway. It’s yours.

I pray for our little guy who is about to come into the world and that the delivery would be quick and easy for Annso. I’m sure millions of people pray for things to be easy, and maybe what’s the point, but I’d feel bad if I didn’t at least ask. You have been so nice to us and for us, that it seems the beginning of stuff is the hard part—like when we were dating and spending all that time apart being the worse part, and the marriage itself being the easiest. I pray the same thing for our little baby.

We had such a hard time getting pregnant, and if it follows the same trend, you would make the delivery easy. Why not? At least I can ask.

I pray for my meeting with Jimmy today about church and the time we have left in his internship. We’ve hit an all-time low in attendance. I have felt we should quit pastoring for some time now, and maybe the writing has been on the wall much too long. Same thing for Kokua Crew. We had a good run at it, but I don’t want to stay with it until maybe someone asks us to leave.

Please give us the wisdom to know what to quit and when to quit, if anything. You know what’s coming and have put us in the right positions at the right time. You also know the boundaries we should set, both with work and with personal relationships. Just let us know what to do.

I pray for a kingdom mindset with taxes, faith, possessions, status, location, what we do with our time, everything. Thank you for our invitation to spend a little time up north at Steve’s place for a day and a night away. I know it will help us.

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“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.“ (Proverbs 16:9)

Nelson’s Journal, 1/28/22

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Nelson continues his fast-paced work with YWAM where no two days are alike, while pondering what life would be like with a 9:00-5:00 job. Would he feel tied down? Would it mean putting permanent roots down in far-away Hawaii? Could he successfully become an electrician? Would this be the best for his family?

While searching for answers, he journaled a prayer, asking God what he should do.

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January 28, 2022

I am super grateful for what you, Lord, have brought us through last year. I read 2 books, the American Pilgrim and the Bitcoin Standard. Annso and I have the best marriage I could imagine. She has the best views on most things, and we think of one mind on many things.

She bought for me the book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I listened to the podcast of it a while back, and there’s probably no book that could apply to me more. I am trying and seeing if a job for Tim [electrician] will work. Might be a step in the right direction.

Our time in Kokua Crew is coming to an end I feel. There is so much hurry and urgency, which is good for a season, but, like many things, it’s not meant to last a lifetime.

Lord, I pray you would show me the way today, the way to speak to Tim about the potential job, that I can really act and pray like it’s totally up to you and I don’t have a horse in the race. I only want what’s the best for my family and where you are leading.

Thank you for leading us so well up until this point. You know my desire to have a trade and something I am really good at, something with a certification that I really know and people are willing to pay me to do.

I’m starting to read the book Annso gave me, and it talks about a fork in the road, taking the one less traveled. He brings his core leadership into a room and says, “I resign.”

For me, with YWAM, with Kokua Crew, and grounds, it’s the right move. Not sure about working as an electrician, but it seems to be the right way… less spotlight, less meetings. Resignation sounds good, actually.

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“Be transformed…that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)