Young Love (#104)

October 30 – 31, 1969

 

Now that we were less than a month from our wedding, it was time to ask my principal for some honeymoon time off. We would be marrying on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and hoped he’d give us a week beyond that. A seven day honeymoon would be short, but Nate needed to get back to his classes anyway.

Principal's officeWhen I approached Mr. Scarce in his office, he greeted me with a big smile and a couple of jokes about becoming a married lady. He was in a good mood, and I had the feeling I was going to get what I asked for.

 

Back in Chicago, teachers were given  3 paid “personal days” during the school year and a handful of sick days. In Danville it was different. And in Mr. Scarce’s opinion, a week’s absence wasn’t reasonable. I explained I wasn’t asking for paid vacation, just time off… but the answer was still no. He joked with me about a one-day honeymoon, but it wasn’t that funny.

When I walked out of the office, he’d given me permission to miss 3 days – without pay – mentioning that there were others who would love to have my job if I was unable to do it.

Since I was very grateful for that job, I smiled and thanked him for the 3 days but knew Nate would be disappointed. Not counting our actual wedding day (which would end at about 11:00 PM), we would have a whopping 4-day honeymoon.

When I arrived home and gave Nate the bad news, he responded with a couple of reasons why 4 days would be just fine. For one, we didn’t have much money and a short honeymoon wouldn’t cost much. Also, missing fewer classes would be a good thing. “We’ll just make the most of each of our 4 days,” he said. “Besides – once we’re married, every day will be a honeymoon.” (Spoken like a man in love.)

Knowing how few days we would have, it was easy to structure a plan. Rather than waste time traveling, we would honeymoon right in Chicago, a fascinating city with much to explore. But we’d have to keep our location a secret, or my family just might drop in uninvited.

John and CathyThat evening we asked one of Nate’s law school buddies and his girlfriend to come for supper. John was one of the groomsmen, and since he was located in Champaign, it would be easy for him to keep a secret. So we asked him to be our getaway driver. “It’s very likely we’ll be followed when we leave the church. Would you be up for helping us escape?”

 

Fondue potJohn and Cathy loved the idea and promised they would succeed at their assignment. As we shared a meal using the new fondue pot we’d received at the last shower, we strategized and came up with a complicated scheme — not only to evade mischief-makers when leaving the church but to hide Nate’s car and our honeymoon luggage somewhere in the city several days before the wedding.

After that, the only thing left was to plan our 4 precious honeymoon days in Chicago.

“Be content with what you have.” (Hebrews 13:5)

Young Love (#76)

August 1, 1969

Inch by inch Mom was releasing her hold on “708,” as she referred to her old home. Gradually she was stepping away from the happiness she and her family knew while living at that address, but she needed one more visit for two reasons:

  1. Many remaining items from their garage sale a week earlier were still stashed in the garages and basements of neighbors’ homes and needed to be dealt with.
  2. My brother, Tom, had prearranged a political meeting at 708 for a man who was running for Congress.

TomTom (left) had worked hard on this candidate’s campaign and had scheduled the event many weeks before the house sold. No one had expected it to sell as fast as it did.

 

 

RallyAlthough the rally was landing on the same day as the new owners would be moving in, they agreed to let Tom (and Mom) host the event in the back yard, a gracious gift. The newspaper had publicized the event as an opportunity for university students to join the candidate’s team, and Tom would be leading the charge.

Meanwhile, Mom busied herself collecting her garage sale possessions, hosting the sale “Part 2” in the next-door-neighbor’s driveway. And of course, as the day unfolded, she ended up inside her old house, helping the new family with whatever she could. She had done a good job readying the home for its new occupants, and her diary comment was, “708 SPOTLESS.”

Spotless“Going home” is satisfying for most of us, and after moving from a beloved house, going home to a different one can be unsettling. All of us can testify to running errands in the weeks after a move and automatically ending up on the route to our old address rather than the new house. There comes a day, though, when the transition must be made, even if we have to concentrate hard to get it done.

Tom’s rally was a success with about 50 attendees, and the candidate was appreciative. Mom’s garage sale succeeded, too, and as she hauled the remaining items away, she left 708 for good. Once she made up her mind that she had really moved out, it took only 3 days before a very special note popped up in her diary. They had been out to dinner, after which she wrote: “…and then to our new home, which we LOVE!”

In the end, Mom and Dad lived in their smaller home for more than 30 years, and Mom never loved any home more than that one.

“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” (Psalm 16:6)

Young Love (#37)

Between the end of Nate’s academic year and the beginning of his summer stint with the Army, he had 8 free days. We viewed that as a golden opportunity for more time with my parents, so we arranged for him to stay with them. I would stay there, too, and our hope was that by the end of those days, Mom would finally sanction our decision to marry.

We also hoped both Mom and Dad would surrender their idea of a year-long engagement. We didn’t want to cross them, but 6 months was our maximum wait-time.

The two of us thoroughly enjoyed being together and continued making plans. Nate accompanied me to my kindergartens, and let me “show him off” to faculty friends. After work we shared meals with friends, went to the movies, helped Mom and Dad with household projects, took miles-long walks, and “window shopped” engagement rings.

the-meetingA special highlight was when Nate’s parents drove 4 hours just to meet my folks and share a day with all of us. Everything went well, we were thankful.

From my journal:

I’m learning so much more about Nate this week. I’m convinced he is someone who will never reject me. He loved me long before I ever loved him, and as a result, my feelings for him have been able to grow at a steady, unhindered pace. With all the candid discussing we’ve done, I think we’ll have a head start on marriage together.

As for Mom, at the end of the week she did something that took me by surprise. Nate had made a big effort to win her approval, watching her closely and offering to help with whatever she was doing. He’d brought her gifts, (something no other boyfriend had done) and had given her a hug each time we’d returned home (also not done by the others).

She began warming to him, and became willing to negotiate for a wedding date. Somewhere between a short engagement (us) and a long one (them), we settled on Thanksgiving weekend. Mom liked the idea of sharing our turkey dinner with relatives who would come for the wedding, and we liked the idea of a brief engagement.

Back to my journal and Mom’s surprise:

glass-slipperTwo years earlier, Mom had bought a special gift to present to me when she thought I had found my prince charming. It would be her way of sanctioning my choice. At the end of our 8 days together, she presented me with that gift – a small glass slipper a la Cinderella – telling me she was sure Nate was the one. She also said that it was satisfying for her to be sure that I was sure, too. The glass-slipper-surprise was the watershed moment Nate and I had been hoping for with Mom, and now all 4 parents were on board.

At the end of those 8 days, Nate reluctantly got on a bus headed to Ft. Riley, Kansas, nearly 600 miles away. He became a soldier-in-training for 6 weeks and was owned by the Army. But as we kissed goodbye, I made up my mind I wasn’t going to let all that time pass without us being together.

“Love always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)