The house closing looms large, especially since it was already supposed to have happened, but Nelson continues to trust God for the outcome of months of planning and praying. And despite having a terminal illness, Nelson is still trying not to worry but to better himself before the Lord.

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October 18, 2022

So far so good with the house. There is the outstanding roof, and the owner said he would write out a check for $15K and hand it to me as a sort of security deposit so it actually gets done. I have feelings of uncertainty about it, so I’m asking for it.

I can see it be spring, and he sort of fades away and stops returning my calls when it’s time to get the roof done. These types of things help me grow a backbone, because there’s no way I’m getting hosed for that much money when he said he would do it all along.

Anyway, hope for the best, plan for the worst. That’s what I’m going to do. Seems safer for everyone.

Lord, everything has worked out so good so far, and I would ask you to prompt him to make good on what he said and write me the check and sign a contract about replacing the roof in the spring. I pray that he wouldn’t be greedy or slippery.

I pray you would help us with this. You have been so merciful and gracious to us in this process, and I pray it can stay the same all the way until the end. Amen.

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“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:13-16)

 Probably one of the most practical passages in the Bible about prayer. James tells us we should pray about everything and praise God for the good things. George Muller said that if something is big enough for a thought to land on, it’s big enough for a prayer to be said about it. I thought that was good.

I’m trying to be confident and content with who you made me, Lord, not caring about little nit-picky things. Is there a verse about that? Are there verses that show us how to act in the face of comparison and triteness that I have not seen until now? How can a person walk in peace and confidence without getting emotionally dragged into petty things that mean nothing? Can I master that somehow?

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“The good person, out of the good treasure of his heart, produces good.” (Luke 6:45)

Today Nelson is pondering the brevity of life as we all race through our days with full to-do lists.

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October 17, 2022

Last year at this time, I was concerned about many things on the YWAM campus and at Hale Ola. There were little things I was meaning to do, fix that door, figure out a way to make that run smoother, put a security light here, submit this or that request to the campus CFO team.

Then basically one day the sun rose, just like any other, but that day, I was in the hospital and the news came. “Cancer.”

Luke’s advice came with it. “Move to Minnesota and come to the Mayo clinic.” And all of a sudden God released us from working and living on that island in the middle of the Pacific.

All my “to do” lists were reduced to nothing. I think that’s how it will be when we die. I felt that in the hospital. Everything you think is important or the people who depend on you changes. You are lying there, helpless, and you realize it. There’s nothing you can do, just accept what has happened.

We think we’re all “necessary” and important, but we’re not. If any of us died, the water would just fill in around us and the people would move on. You see it over and over all around you, so why wouldn’t it apply to you, too?

Someone leaves a place or dies, and everyone moves on. What else are they supposed to do? We always told ourselves that when it was time to go, we would know it. And that was the day. It did come suddenly, and we knew it. TIME TO GO. And we went.

Now here we are, and I see it as God’s plan for us. He moved us here, and I actually like it. I was at the end of my time there, and I felt it, but didn’t know it.

I think I’m actually happy to be here. I just wish I didn’t have the cancer part to go with it. On the other hand, it brings crystal clarity to the ‘why’ of it. I know, and so does everyone else. We’re here because of the Mayo.

Annso and I have our little baby, and we are here to ride out this season, however long it lasts. And if anyone was in question about how long we would be, we bought a house just to send a clear message that we’re in no hurry to move on.

I think it will be the same. God will let us know, and when he does, it will be clear, and we’ll both know and agree on it.

“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” (James 4:13-17)

 Another snippet from the “Epistle of Straw,” but I like this little book even though Martin Luther didn’t. You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. It sure does lean on the side of works-oriented living. “If anyone knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

Well, if that doesn’t give you a ton of “works” to do, you’re not like me. Because when I hear that, I can think of all sorts of things I could do if I just “tried a little harder” or “did just a little bit more” and I’m off to the races of working my way into God’s approval again.

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“Show me, O Lord….how fleeting is my life.” (Psalm 39:4)

As Nelson continues to miss Ann Sophie and Will, we’re thankful that in their absence there has been no medical emergency. Scripture continues to be Nelson’s lifeline.

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October 17, 2022

Slept pretty well last night, woke up later, about 6:20 am. It’s nice when the nights are not eternal.

Spoke with Annso on the phone this morning, and she says she’s looking forward to coming back here. I am too, honestly. It’s fine for a little while to accomplish something and see her friends and grieve for her grandmother, but it’s not where she lives, and we have a life here, and I love our life here. I’m glad she does too.

She said it feels less like home all the time, and for that I’m thankful. She’s becoming a US citizen, which is cool. I never thought that would happen, but it sure looks like it will. Then she can sponsor people to get a green card if she wants. Interesting how that works. It’s nice to have a lawyer to guide and help with the details.

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“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” (James 3:13-18)

This was in my reading for today. It’s a simple passage about wisdom. What are the defining marks of godly wisdom vs. the kind that is worldly and sinful? Basically, if there is selfish ambition, it’s the bad kind, and if it’s the good kind, it’s marked by peace-making.

In other words, if I’m out for myself, then it’s the bad kind, but if I’m working to help others instead of making myself rich and prosperous, then it’s the good kind that comes down from heaven.

It’s letting God increase you instead of doing it with your own hand. Easier said than done, but if you have done a few things on your own and have seen where “envy and selfish ambition” lead, then you’re more inclined to follow God.

I’m sitting in the dark pre-dawn waiting for Mom to come forth from her later-than-me sleep. We have a mostly open schedule, but sprinkle in the errands and trips over to Mayo in there to ‘use up’ the space. lol. It’s the kind of season God has me in at the moment.

It’s not about accomplishing tons of stuff each day, but resting in the Lord and being still. There are a couple things to do, where a year ago, there were so many things on the list, I could never have accomplished them all.

(…to be continued)

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“Make the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:16)