Nelson is keeping his mind on the Lord while away from his “little family,” as he calls them. He’s missing them a great deal but plans small projects for us to tackle each day.  It’s especially helpful if we can focus on things that have nothing to do with cancer. As for me, I’m cherishing every minute of these two weeks with my firstborn, grateful beyond words for such focused time with him.

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October 14, 2022

Annso tells me it’s way too much for our little guy meeting up with everyone in Germany, and he’s overwhelmed. She’s going to stay at home today.

Later I get a picture that she’s headed to the grandparents again. There is a lady with Covid at Annso’s house, which complicates things, but I’m glad she’s trudging through the trip slowly but surely. I’m so thankful for her flexibility.

Anyway, Mom and I are hanging out at our little apartment in Rochester for a few more days before my little family comes back. We close on our house just after that, and then we clean and paint, then move in a little after that. It will be fun.

I hope to have the energy to participate in everything. Yesterday was tiring, but the day before was good. Sometimes two naps isn’t enough, and other times, I don’t take even one. I can’t figure it out. I just try to listen to my body and do what feels right.

Reading James today, the “Epistle of Straw” as Martin Luther called it. I would love to get a revelation of God’s grace like the one he got that caused him to make that comment.

Maybe someday I will know God better and be able to grasp his love and grace in a more tangible way, but it’s a good thing that we are not loved or accepted based on how we feel about God.

It’s his love and power that saves us, not our feelings about him. At least I hope not. James does come out pretty works-oriented. “Faith without works is dead.” Probably true, though.

I’m so thankful for Annso and how adaptable she is and how she looks forward to being here with me again. I’m thankful for her family, especially Ralph and Astrid and their love for you, Lord. I’m thankful for Mom being here with me over this time, for the fall weather and even the possibility of snow in the near future. I missed it, living in Hawaii all that time.

I’m thankful for small group last night and that I was able to make it and not cower out with a weak excuse of being too tired. I’m thankful for our little cozy apartment and laid-back schedule over these few days while Mom is here, for the chance to go up and see Luke tomorrow [cousin] for his birthday, and for just a few things to do each day, but not too many.

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David to his enemy: “Surely God will bring you down to everlasting ruin: He will snatch you up and pluck you from your tent; he will uproot you from the land of the living. The righteous will see and fear; they will laugh at you, saying, ‘Here now is the man who did not make God his stronghold but trusted in his great wealth and grew strong by destroying others!’

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love forever and ever. For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people. And I will hope in your name, for your name is good.” (Psalm 52)

What a prayer and a picture of how things in the kingdom of God work. David talks to his enemy, then turns him over to God and tells the man that his trust in his wealth and how he destroys others will catch up with him.

Then he changes and talks about how he will always be in the house of God, praising him and placing his hope in the name of God. Always important is the praising God for what he has done in the presence of his faithful people.

4 pm

Mom and I went down to the Mayo Clinic and got another of my prescriptions filled, hit Target after that, then back to the apartment here.

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“Encourage the exhausted and strengthen the feeble. Say to those with anxious hearts, ‘Take courage.’ ” (Isaiah 35:3-4)

As he journals, Nelson continues to seek direction from thinking about what’s written in the Bible.

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October 13, 2022

I keep making the print bigger and bigger so I can read it without glasses. lol. Funny how much your body deteriorates over time—mine probably more than most, with this cancer and everything.

Hopefully I can rally and get a few more years of good health. It was always something I had until lately. Now it’s been different. God only knows.

This is the 3rd day Annso and Will are gone over to Germany. She wrote little cards for each day, and the one for today affirmed me, that I have good ideas and the fish tank was one of them. I remember that morning when I started looking at them on Facebook Marketplace. We jumped in the car and went down and picked up that one.

It was a “wild hair,” but it turned out good aside from Astrid throwing her back out helping to carry it up the stairs. I’m thankful for ideas like that. Now we have tons of fish in there and little ones being born right there in the tank, which is pretty cool.

We bought a few other ones as well, to clean the tank. It’s been a fun project. I’m sitting in the dark writing, before Mom comes out around 8 am. I was so tired this morning at 5 am when I woke up, that I re-cashed out on the couch and woke up in a dead sweat at 6 am when I made the coffee.

Still tired but pressing on. Haircut at 10:30 am, Mom’s car appointment at Honda after that, pick up some scripts at Mayo, and small group tonight at 7 pm.

There is a rapid-fire list of commands to obey in Hebrews 13, and I thought this one was particularly interesting… “Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever…” (Hebrews 13:7-8)

It’s a great reminder that even though the world is coming up with all new junk like critical race theory and the sexual mess they are trying to put on the kids, even in schools at young ages, the Bible and the Lord who speaks through it are not changing. They are the same.

The word is still the same. We are not to “mellow out” and accept the garbage the world is slinging. I am reading a book by Eric Metaxes called, A Letter to the American Church. And he’s making a great case that the approach the church has had in response to the corona virus and to the rest of the political garbage that’s based in anti-God movements, has been pathetic.

We have stood by while the devil comes in and slowly takes over. Soon it will be too late. I think he’s right. I hope he’s not, but he likens it to the church in Germany in the 1930’s. They stood by, and look what happened there.

I pray for the courage to stand up and speak out against things that are wrong, Lord. I pray that I would educate myself to know what is happening instead of taking an approach where we lay back in an effort to preserve ourselves instead of speaking out for the powerless and the voiceless.

Help us as a church to speak out even when it costs us. Thank you that we never closed our church during the so-called pandemic a couple years back. I pray to be able to stand up. Help us God. What an awful temptation it is to keep ourselves safe while others are suffering.

I finished Hebrews and just kept going into James. I thought this was fitting from chapter 1… “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)

I wondered if the “discipline” described in Hebrews that fathers exercise over their sons is something like cancer. Or is it just persecution from the wicked for standing up for what’s right? Here, it talks about “trials of many kinds,” so it seems it means standing up under trials, because they are tests.

Cancer is a test. It sure feels like one. I don’t know if everything hard is a test, or if life is just hard sometimes. The Word makes it seem like hard times are always trials. I suppose they could all be useful to build endurance and perseverance.

I pray this trial wouldn’t be wasted on me, Lord. That you would accomplish what you had in mind when it came to me. I don’t know what it is, but you do. Amen.

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“The testing of your faith produces perseverance.” (James 1:3)

Nelson is feeling grateful on this day, happy with the way things stand and the blessings God has put into his life.

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October 12, 2022

I wonder what I should do with guys like the maintenance guy here at the apartments. He’s close to me here and has massive needs, but I don’t know what to do for him.

I pray you would show me what to tell him or do for him, Lord. We gave him $50 one time, but now he’s coming to me regular, angling for another payout I think. That’s never been the goal, but I want to help him spiritually in some way. Maybe you can give me some sort of clue what to do for him, Lord. Amen.

Thank you for lining up our new house, for the miracle it is for a YWAM guy like me to get a bank to partner with us and lend us all that money. Only you can make something like that happen. If we can just wait for you to act, Lord, the most amazing, unpredictable things happen all the time.

I have the best wife in the whole world, a beautiful little son born of my own body and hers. And with the house, we prayed that if we couldn’t get it on our own, without a co-signer, it wouldn’t happen—and that’s exactly what happened.

How great are you Lord. I look at this as shadows compared to what you will do once we get to spend eternity with you, doing whatever it is that we do there. I’m sure it will blow away our wildest dreams. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard…” and that’s the coolest thing ever.

If this life and what you do here is but a dim shadow, then how great is the next phase going to be? Let us be all we can be for you here and now, Lord, not being consumed with the things of the world, the love of money, lack of contentment, or other things.

Let us be content with what we have and spend time loving you and others instead of amassing possessions for ourselves. Give me and my family eternal mindsets instead of earthly focus. Let us be concerned with the fates of the souls of others.

Let us follow your leading instead of our own desires. Let us trust you and what you have for us so that we will get the whole thing thrown in anyway, if we just do that much. We love you, Lord, and we trust you.

Thank you for calling us your children. Please keep Will and Annso safe out there traveling in Germany, seeing all the people. I pray for supernatural energy for Annso as she takes care of our little baby and tries to see all those people.

Thank you that I was able to stay here [in MN] and can have a more relaxed schedule. I don’t think I would have done super well with all that, the way I feel these days. Amen.

The money I deposited in the BA account actually went through. I could hardly believe writing a check would work. I thought it would have to be a transfer with a great deal of drama attached to it for it to work. Apparently not. Just put it in at the ATM and 2 days later, it was available.

Now we’re all set for the closing October 26 for our house. How can this be that God will have this for us? So fun and exciting to see him working in our favor in so many ways, this being a small one.

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“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)