Nelson figures out why Ann Sophie doesn’t want him to go to church on this Sunday.

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October 9, 2022

Slept later than usual today, which, for me is 6:45 am instead of 5:15 am. I was on my way out [to the kitchen] when Annso invited me to stay longer. A hard invitation to turn down, so I stayed in bed for a while longer. But no journal prayer time before dawn, which I miss.

Then later, as we got ready for church, Annso said we should stay home, but as the truth came out, it was me she really wanted to stay home, so I wouldn’t get sick while she’s gone in Germany.

So here I am, getting my journaling time back instead of going to church. I thought she didn’t want Will going because he’s sick, and when she suggested I wear a mask, I knew it was about me. Anyway, so here I am, making the most of the time.

Just now I was taking out the trash when I was harassed by the apartment complex maintenance guy for a few bucks to fix something or do side work to make a little money. He is a nice guy, but I gave him some cash a while ago, and here he comes to me now for more.

I didn’t really know how to handle it, but he followed me right to my door and then knocked. Persistently irritating.

So here’s part of the last in the series on contentment by Colin Smith from April 2016. “Contentment does not come from adding to what you have, but subtracting from what you desire.” Brilliant: Not bringing possessions up to desires, but desires down to where our possessions are, finding joy in what God has given us. Compare ourselves with people who have less than what we have.

I can see that when I look at the maintenance man. It’s Sunday morning, he’s probably fighting with some woman who he’s probably dating, the same place I was when I lived in Tennessee and was drinking, waking up every day in a stupor, having no direction or confidence, unable to get myself out. Seems like the situation he’s in today.

Annso and I have had no money troubles our whole marriage. Colin takes these from Hebrews 13: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have… for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ ” (Hebrews 13:5)

We obey God’s commands by believing God’s promises. That’s where the power is. “I will never leave you.” God the Father says he will never leave his Son. God the Son says he will never leave his brother. God, the Holy Spirit says he will never leave his house.

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“We say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper…’ ” (Hebrews 13:6)

In this post Nelson examines his inner motives for living the life that he does. After being in missions and literally circling the globe in ministry, what does he want now? He’s trying to figure that out.

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Recently a friend asked me when I’m going to get back into pastoring. When the tables are turned, I do the same to others. When I hear that someone is leaving YWAM to go back home and get a job, get married, buy a house, start earning money, I have the same response.

“Do I care about money, business ventures, or secular education? What about missions? What about Asia? What about DTS [Discipleship Training School] staff?” When I hear that someone is committing to learning a new language or starting a new YWAM base in Idaho, I’m wanting to do anything I can to encourage them, hoping for them to stay in it.

But when it’s me, I want to be able to own a house, to stay in one place, to have a family, and the rest of it. Interesting how that works. It’s easy to advise someone else to throw their dreams and earthly goals to the wind and trust God and live radically by faith in a different country. But when it comes to me, I want to be back in the USA.

I guess we are able to have a witness with the cancer and handling that like we should. I guess I just learned that it doesn’t matter if you buy a house or get a hold of some money. They are doing the same thing. What they really want is to see people radically stepping out in faith and doing things they can’t or don’t believe they can do.

Being a pastor, good. Getting back into YWAM, good. Going off to India, good. Working and becoming land owners here in Rochester, boring for people. Maybe I’m over-thinking it. I see it like a desire fulfilled from the Lord.

Lord, I know you are in this house process and the miracle of getting a loan without a real income or anything. I know that having it lower our bills is a miracle. I know that I’ve wanted it for so long, and you brought us here to have this dream realized. We are 2 blocks from Mayo, which makes life easier in that way.

I’m grateful for the house, for our tenants, for the leases that are signed, for being able to be in business. I am willing to get back into ministry and wouldn’t be surprised if you open some doors for that through our new church, once a little more time goes by. You always seem to do that.

 I’m thankful for your timing. I pray, Lord, that you would show us what to take on and what to let go of, once that time comes. I’m thankful for Annso and her dedication to taking care of Will. I’m thankful that Astrid is here to help us.

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“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might.” (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

In this post, Nelson shares several fears and the reassurance he receives from the Bible.

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October 7, 2022

Up with the baby boy at 5:45 am, trying to let Annso sleep a little longer. She does all the heavy lifting at night.

Our fish tank is becoming the main attraction. We have had some baby Cichlids born in there and have a little feeder tank to shield them from the other fish.

Lars [brother, on the left] called me on the phone yesterday, which is unusual, as I don’t talk on the phone too much anymore. Jeremy Crady the day before that. It’s been good talking to people. Lars called to check up on me and see how I’m really doing.

Mom will come up when Annso and Astrid go to Germany. Annso’s grandmother has been moved to hospice, so it’s a bit of a race against the clock for Astrid and Annso to get over there before she goes.

We are praying they can have the hard conversations. Seems easy for other people, but I know if it were me, I’d struggle with it for sure.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:23-25)

That’s probably my favorite set of verses in Hebrews. Simple, when the rest of the book is pretty complex with the priestly talk and everything about the law and Moses compared with Jesus.

Those verses confirm that going to small group last night was the right thing to do. Joining small group and meeting with believers is part of church. Church is not just going there on Sundays and saying you’re a Christian. There has to be more than that.

You don’t get saved by that stuff. That stuff is the indicator that a person is saved. It is the fruit of being a believer.

I also like Hebrews because it talks about how the individual can overcome the fear of death and be sure of salvation. I have always struggled with that. Even almost dying a couple months ago, I was shocked how little peace I had at that moment. I don’t know why, but I was really fearful.

I guess as Christians, we have to believe that Jesus will take us to himself even if, at that moment, it doesn’t seem like he will or that he has anything to do with that moment, because I didn’t. Maybe you only have the grace to die when you’re actually dying, which apparently I was not.

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“Persevere, so that after you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (Hebrews 10:36)