In this entry Nelson decides to include a fun list of things a father ought to teach a child, and he’s hoping for that chance.

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Lots going on and usually I’m the one traveling, but not this time. Thank you Lord, for my position. I am happy with where the boundary lines have fallen for me. I have done my share of road trips and they’re super fun, but I know that now, it would be different, and it’s not my place.

I’m thankful you have directed us here. Today is the day we truly find out about the house, whether we get it or not. We have prayed and prayed, Lord, and I ask that we can be released of more red tape and that they would let the roof go and the rest of the finance stuff.

We have given them enough of all that. I pray that you would move the decision-maker’s heart to give us the loan. Amen.

On a different note, Annso sent me this list. It’s a good one. Hard to live out completely, but it would be a good example to set.

RULES TO TEACH YOUR SON

• Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
• Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.
• The man at the BBQ grill is the closest thing to a king.
• In a negotiation, never make the first off
• Request the late check-out.
• When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
• Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
• Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
• Play with passion or don’t play at all.
• When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.
• Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
• If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
• Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
• You marry the girl, you marry her family.
• Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
• Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
• Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
• Never turn down a breath mint.
• A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
• Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
• Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him.
• Eat lunch with the new kid.
• After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
• Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
• Manners make the man.
• Give credit. Take the blame.
• Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.
• Write down your dreams.
• Take time to snuggle your pets; they love you so much and are always happy to see you.
• Be confident and humble at the same time.
• If ever in doubt, remember whose son you are and REFUSE to just be ordinary!
• In all things lead by example, not explanation.
• Dress how you want to be addressed.
• BE BLESSED BY BEING A BLESSING.

        Author Unknown.

(…to be continued)

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 “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction…” (Proverbs 1:8)

Despite his struggle with a bad cancer, Nelson’s overall feeling is that he’s been called to where he is today, and he expresses contentment in knowing that.

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October 4, 2022

Is heaven mirrored here on earth? Would we do a lot of things different if we could see it even for a minute? I wonder about that.

How much different would my life look if I were able to go there for a few seconds and see the outcome of a life lived one way vs. a life lived more for self? Would I tell myself to sell everything and give it away, to go to India and preach the gospel? What would I do?

Maybe we are in the right place already. I’m pretty sure of that with my sickness. I’m so thankful to still be alive after 6 months now of fighting this thing. It was close there for a while. In one way I’m thankful to have been taken out of where we were and brought here to this new struggle.

Full time, super busy ministry can be a dangerous place to live and work. It can look like something it’s not. It can look and feel like you’re doing well and good with the Lord, yet you’re cold as ice spiritually. You are the only one who knows it, and maybe there are lots of others like you around, and everyone is being lulled to sleep by the enemy together. It’s possible.

The Bible tells us it can happen. Jude gives a pretty scathing rebuke for people who are clouds without rain, shepherds who are in it for personal gain.

The sermon at church Sunday was pretty much about that. Ministers who are like the Pharisees. They were the leaders of the day but who taught without authority. The people recognized Jesus because he was different, but they didn’t even see him, because they were cold and out for selfishness.

Let’s make the best life we can for ourselves. Maybe even us as Christians don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. What is our motivation? Why are we doing what we’re doing? Why do we choose a job? Live in a town? Does the weather draw us, the nice people, a comfortable existence? Safety? Those are probably good questions to ask ourselves.

Not that we want to go and live and try to be a martyr. We have to let God be in charge of that. But still, when we were called to come here, I knew it was right.

We always said that one day we would leave, and we would know. No such thing as just going to a place because family is there or because it’s got a nice set-up.

Lots going on and usually I’m the one traveling, but not this time. Thank you Lord, for my position. I am happy with where the boundary lines have fallen for me. I have done my share of road trips and they’re super fun, but I know now it would be different, and it’s not my place.

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“The boundary lines for me have fallen in pleasant places. Surely I have a delightful inheritance.” (Psalm 16:6)

Nelson is immersing himself in Scripture, using this entry to write down a few of them.

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October 3, 2022

“Hope in the Lord and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.” (Psalm 37:34)

A great verse from Psalm 37. I have found that so much of life’s struggle comes from comparison with others. I see a guy who is evil or close to it, prospering, doing nothing to honor God and getting everything he wants, being healthy, living totally for himself, appearing totally happy, sitting there bragging about the things he does and the things he will do with seemingly no consequences.

Then I am trying in the best way I know how, to honor God in word and deed, and even though I am not perfect at it, I am trying. But I sit here fighting cancer and have challenges they know nothing about.

I am wrong for comparing myself, no doubt. But I am glad there are verses like this one that at least vindicate me a little, otherwise it seems like a losing battle. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:19, “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.”

We try to follow Jesus when he says things like, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24). If the whole thing is a farce and Jesus did not rise from the dead, then there is no power, there is no afterlife that we have any say in, and we should fight for ourselves here, instead of giving it to Jesus and trying to follow him.

I believe Jesus did rise, so verses like the one at the top are a huge encouragement to keep going and wait for him to redeem us.

“The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.” (Psalm 37:39-40)

It’s Monday today. We have a few things on the schedule, but like usual, it’s pretty free. Ralph wants help fixing his car. We started it the other day but needed a part. I ordered it, and now it’s here.

I have a blood draw at 11 am, and Annso wants to walk around by our new house. I would like to check on them [the house loan people] and see how long it will be before they give us the full green light on the loan. We are inside a month, and we still don’t have that.

I got one document from the underwriter, and it starts off with, “You’ve been approved…” Then, when I email the girl who sent it, she says, “Not yet. They will decide tomorrow, more than likely.” We still have 3 weeks until closing, but it’s a nail-biter anyway.

Lots of good things happened today, like me feeling better for starters. Still weaning off the slow release morphine. Makes you feel like you have the flu a little. I sweated through 5 shirts last night. Got up each time, totally soaked through. Hard to believe there’s that much sweat in a person.

Why is the Morphine slow-release like that? The human body is so complex, I am learning. One thing I realize is how much of an addict I still am. I obsess on anything that brings a good feeling. Whether it’s Oxycodone or Morphine, I constantly think about it.

Even the little high a Starbucks coffee gives me (right) with the cream and sugar is enough to do it a little bit, too. It’s crazy.

I wish I were different, like Annso, and didn’t want to have my state of mind altered or dumbed down, but it’s just automatic. It’s a reminder that even though this stuff is within bounds for now, a drink of alcohol mustn’t ever cross my lips, or it might be the beginning of something not good. I still feel like I wouldn’t be able to control it. Or I would try, but it would cost me so much… and I have more than ever to lose now. It just doesn’t fit into my life anymore.

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“Be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.” (1 Peter 4:7)