Our old, cracked driveway needed help when we bought our cottage 11 years ago, but driveways are low priority when home improvements begin.

Last week, however, a man wearing tar-decorated clothes knocked on my door with an offer to make my drive look and stay beautiful. “I guarantee for 3 years,” he said with confidence, handing me his business card.

We negotiated a price and set a day. The asphalt expert arrived despite the threat of a cloudburst, and he brought along a tar-decorated partner: his blond, blue-eyed wife.

Never have I seen a woman spreading black goo on a driveway, but Diane added the attention to detail most men miss. She used a broom to spread the tar perfectly at the edges, taking care not to touch our concrete sidewalk or retaining wall.

The three of us became friends, because we ended up spending more than the average driveway-tarring time together. Ten minutes after they finished, a cloudburst dumped its load on their fresh work, “bursting” for 24 hours.

Diane and Charles returned two days later to assess the damage, and two days after that re-did the whole job. Their good cheer impressed me as they worked just as carefully the second time around without any additional money. They even posed for a photo.

As they left, Charles said, “Remember. Three years. Call me if any part of this driveway doesn’t make you completely happy.”

Covering the ravages of time is tricky. I try to do it every morning on my face with Cover Girl concealer. All of us attempt to cover certain secrets now and then, and not just on our skin.  Often relationship issues get buried under a thin veneer of “all-is-well.”  Then when storms come, the cracks get exposed.

For example, we widows are famous for covering the flaw of  sadness. Just as driveway crevices can be covered with tar, a widow’s grieving can be covered with activity, denial or friends. It works for a time, but rain-like tears eventually expose fault-lines, and sooner or later they need filling.

When Charles and Diane finished my driveway for the second time, Charles pointed out something special. “See these cracks?” he said. “I filled them with melted rubber, not tar. In three years when my guarantee expires and your driveway needs tar-touching up, that rubber will still be there, expanding and contracting with the seasons. It’s tough stuff.”

What is a widow’s “tough stuff?” It’s found only in God. His sustenance supplies her with the give and take she needs to weather ongoing storms and temperature changes. He’ll empower her to expand and contract with flexibility as she learns to live alone without fear.

And how does she get his supply? By detailing her needs in prayer, by watching for God’s provision, and by counting on him to fill her empty places.

When my driveway begins to look patchy and needs a tar-redo, I’m confident God will see to it that just like the tougher rubber-filled cracks, I’ll still be in tact.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.” (Romans 15:13a)

One of the pleasures of being married is the unlimited kisses that come along with it. As a widow, I miss Nate’s kisses.

Although most widows are mum about the loss of intimacy after a husband dies, all of us miss it. But there are many other kinds of kisses besides those between husbands a wives. For example, in Scripture we see kings kissing their subjects, believers greeting each other with kisses, and Jesus being betrayed with a kiss. There are hello-kisses and goodbye-kisses, and kisses between parents and children.

God uses the imagery of a kiss to explain several other things to us. One particular passage is fascinating. In Psalm 85, the writer details the story of believers who’ve gone astray but have turned back toward the Lord and are ready to submit to him. The psalmist vividly describes God’s character in relation to these people who are eager to glean the benefits of a restored relationship with him:

“Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other. The Lord will indeed give what is good.” (Psalm 85:10, 12a)

Why did he use the word “kiss”? Maybe it’s because kisses bring two people together in a unique way like nothing else. Contact is close, intimate, personal. A kiss is full of affection and love.

The double meaning of this verse is that these qualities (and many others listed in the chapter) are melded together in God, but can also be ours when we operate “in the Lord,” when we get up close and personal with him. As we spend time with the One who loves steadfastly, is always faithful, is thoroughly righteous and who personifies peace, we take on bits of those characteristics, too.

Another interesting kiss-reference in the Bible is found in Proverbs:

“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” (24:26)

Both honesty and kissing feel good, and the best kind of kisses are honestly loving ones. But he’s saying that if someone can rely on us to tell the truth, the result is as good as a kiss on the lips.

God knows some of us learn best through pictures. We widows may have lost touch with husbandly kisses, but we can benefit as much as the next person from understanding the scriptural kisses of the Lord.

“Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.” (1 Peter 5:14)