Newlywed Love (#100)

Posted on by

September 16-20, 1970

The weather continued to be warm and summery, tempting us to take longer walks around the neighborhood. Sometimes we’d hike the mile to Cathy and John’s place and knock on their door unannounced, but they always welcomed us in for cookies and coffee.

Good pals

Then, as we walked home, we’d rehash the conversation, usually landing on the mounting differences between us. Although we four had always gotten along well, whenever we discussed anything related to Christianity, friction developed.

It was frustrating for all of us as each couple tried to convince the other of a better way to think about life. On our walks, Nate and I wondered aloud where our friendships might be lead.

But on most nights, our evening walks brought nourishment to our marriage. Stepping away from law books, dinner dishes, and teaching prep allowed us to share what was on our minds and stay current with each other. It was also a chance to count blessings.

sidewalk.One night as we were walking to no place special, Nate said something surprising. “I made a big decision today,” he said, “and I think you’ll be pleased.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve decided to interview for my first law job in the Chicago area rather than anywhere else.”

 

“Oh wow!” I said, genuinely elated. “That’s fabulous!”

“I may not find one,” he said, “so don’t get too excited yet, but I’m going to try.”

We stopped walking so I could smother him with kisses. I couldn’t wait to move back to where so many relatives and friends lived.

The last time we’d driven past the city on our way back to Champaign, I’d snapped a photo — quietly hoping I’d one day be able to call Chicago home again.

As we turned back toward our apartment, my feet could hardly keep from skipping. Nate had put his undeserving wife at the top… again… giving me what I wanted most, and I was overwhelmed by his selflessness.

Job hunting in his home town of 30,000 would have been the more comfortable choice, but apparently Nate was willing to comply with whatever Chicago might require. He’d have to learn how to do life in a giant city for the first time — but he was game to try.

And I was thrilled.

SkylineOur walk concluded with his statement that the upcoming new semester would be his last in law school. He would graduate in January of 1971. The challenging Bar Exam would follow, two days of demanding tests every grad had to pass in order to practice law. Many didn’t succeed on the first try — something new to worry about.

That night we began praying about the changes coming, each one with heavy decisions attached. And we asked God to please go ahead of us and set things up before we got there – wherever “there” ended up to be.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Newlywed Love (#99)

Posted on by

September 12-13, 1970

 

DQAlthough Nate was a diligent student who put his work ahead of almost everything else, I never had trouble coaxing him to take a break with me – whether it was to go for a walk, splurge on a Dairy Queen cone, or head into the bedroom.

I felt secure in knowing that though his studies were important to him, he made me an even higher priority. What girl could want more than that?

After a grueling week, especially for him, we were eager for the weekend when Chicago friends Kathy and Bob would arrive for 24 hours. The 4 of us had met in undergrad days — Kathy and I at Wheaton, Bob and Nate at Northwestern.

These two had actually introduced Nate and I on that fateful blind date when I’d worn only underwear beneath my Jackie Kennedy coat. We would be forever indebted to them.

Bob and NateBob and Nate had much in common. Both were in law school, and both loved discussing current events. Both were facing uncertainty with the Army gobbling up young men as it was, and both were working hard to please their new wives.

When Kathy and Bob arrived, we enjoyed catching up on all our friends from college days, and the weekend was a big success. We visited a flea market where Nate splurged on two spoon rings for us. Bob picked up the tab at the Chinese restaurant, and we howled over silly pictures from our early days together.

 

Saying goodbyeAfter Sunday morning breakfast, once again we found ourselves in the street in front of our building waving goodbye, wondering when we’d next see these two special people.

Though Nate and I were late for the church service, we were on time for our Sunday school class of young marrieds, which met afterwards. Ralph, the head pastor everyone loved, was our teacher, and he was always ready with stirring questions that prompted lively discussion each week.

I admired the way he settled debates with Scripture. On this particular Sunday, though, we were surprised by what happened. One of the young husbands, Martin, was frustrated by the way the dialogue was going and began criticizing Ralph with harsh words.

First Baptist Church of Urbana, ILThe rest of us sat speechless as he raised his voice and overstepped his bounds, saying things we knew he would regret. Ralph, trying to be gracious, was being steamrolled, and none of us knew what to do.

Then Nate jumped in.

He addressed Martin directly, and without using any unkind words, he pointed out the flaws in his arguments. Then he took Martin to task over the way he was disrespecting our pastor, silencing him in the process. As Nate spoke, I glanced at the others in the room. Some were nodding. Others were grinning. And I was bursting with pride.

Though Ralph reached out to Martin after class, Martin seemed unable to reach back, but I imagine our soft-spoken pastor thought about that difficult morning all afternoon.

I've got it goodDuring our evening stroll, Nate asked for my opinion about the class, hoping he hadn’t said too much. I assured him his words were very much needed, and after praising his tactful but effective Martin-muzzling, my only other thought was, “I feel sorry for his wife…”

….which, of course, was because I had it so good.

“As we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:10)

Newlywed Love (#98)

Posted on by

September 10, 1970

The week after Labor Day would be a short one for me with only 4 days of teaching, but for Nate it would be a week overloaded with research and writing.

Yarn and needlesHe seemed to be studying around the clock, so I resurrected my knitting needles and began a sweater and hat set for our first niece or nephew arriving to Mary and Bervin in about a month.

Not knowing if it would be a boy or girl, the color choice was difficult. I decided to buy whatever was on sale and ended up with lavender yarn – not that great for a boy, but still I had a 50/50 chance. The pattern I chose had a bright yellow duck on the front, so I hoped that would tip the outfit either way.

When I asked Mary if she would rather have buttons down the front or a turtleneck, her answer was an education for me. “Babies don’t really have a neck for about a year.” We shared a laugh over that and decided on a crew neck. If I knitted every evening, I would have both items ready for Mary’s surprise baby shower on September 24.

Nate’s study-stress was mounting, so one afternoon when I came in from work I suggested we pack up our dinner and have a picnic at nearby Hassle Park. He was game, so while I was frying some chicken, I packed up together what we had on hand: tomatoes, apples, oranges, and coffee.

PicnicDespite the odd menu, I knew a break in our routine would be good for Nate, and once we got there, I had a special surprise to lighten his load. At school I’d been writing down some of the crazy comments my kindergarteners had made, saving them for a moment when we needed a laugh. I tucked a few of those into our picnic bag, and once we were settled at the park, he began munching chicken and I read aloud.

~~~~~~~~~~

Michelle said, “My sister is bigger than me.”
“What grade is she in?” I said.
“Threeth.”

~~~~~~~~~~

After a group bathroom break during which I stayed in the hall to monitor both the girls’ and boys’ doors, one little guy came running out saying, “There’s a boy in there standing so far away from… that… thing… that he’s going to the bathroom all over the place!”

As I read my notes to Nate, He began grinning, wanting to know each child’s name – which I thought was cute.

~~~~~~~~~~

Michael loved giving me hugs at every available opportunity so I said, “Do you give your mother nice hugs like you give me?”
“Oh no.”
“Why not?”
“She’d lose her balance and fall right over. She’s really old.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Hassle ParkDuring our classroom unit on the 5 senses I said, “Now, let’s try to name all 5 of the senses. Who can name one?” Joanna blurted out, “A sense of humor!” I thought that was pretty good.

By now Nate was chuckling.

~~~~~~~~~~

Melissa had been paying close attention to the religious instruction she’d been getting. “I got some beads for church,” she said. “They’re plastic.”
“Oh that’s nice,” I said. “What do you do with them?”
“I count them like this: 1… 2… 3… See? But I can’t count that loud in church.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll mix up the other people on their numbers.”
“Couldn’t you count your beads at home?”
“No, only in church… in the back row. That’s where God lives.”

~~~~~~~~~~

And by that time, Nate was laughing so hard he had to pull out his hanky to wipe away his tears. Laughter really is the best medicine.

“Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.” (Proverbs 12:25)