Newlywed Love (#83)

Posted on September 26, 2017 by Margaret

August 7, 1970

By the end of the week, my summer school commitments had come to an end. No more student teaching or seminars, and I was one step closer to official certification. Despite my initial bad attitude, I’d learned a great deal and was eager to try it all out on my kindergarteners when the school year kicked off after Labor Day.

Nate’s summer wasn’t going as well. The paper route was an increasing burden, and because of it, he was behind in his law classes. “I have to eliminate something,” he said. “I’m just not sure what.”

Being hard-up for money helped make the decision. We still had hope that if he kept the paper route, many of his customers would eventually pay-up, allowing us to become solvent again. By now he was owed $500, a sizeable fortune.

And so he dropped one of his classes, a disappointment to him and also to me, since it meant his fall semester would be heavier. But dropping a class wouldn’t harm his record, and rather than doing poorly in both, it would be better to do well in one.

Since my schedule was being freed up, I took over his billing nightmare for the route, figuring out what each customer owed, writing out the envelopes, and putting them in order according to Nate’s 60-mile route. Because organizational chores were rock-bottom on my skill-set list, it took till 3:00 AM to get the job done the first time.

Nate kept pestering people to pay their bills and was gratified when any of them came forth with any amount at all. But by the end of the week we were still in debt for newspapers and rubber bands – a total wash for 5 weeks of labor.

Being responsible only for his Estate Planning class, though, turned out to be satisfying for him, and he was able to catch up — confident he would bank an “A”.

At the end of the week we got word that Bervin, Mary, and my brother Tom were all coming to Champaign for my birthday (August 8). We loved having company and knew their visit would be a joy. Bervin had just secured his pilot’s license, so they planned to rent a plane and fly down – a thrilling development! We would be at the small Champaign airport to pick them up.

Nate’s family called too, saying they’d love to come for Nate’s birthday the following week (August 18) – his parents and brother Ken. So, with all these reasons to celebrate, we drove to nearby Lake of the Woods where the two of us picnicked, sunned, and swam, letting all the woes of the week wash away.

“Better one handful with rest than two handfuls with effort and a pursuit of the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 4:6)

Newlywed Love (#82)

Posted on September 25, 2017 by Margaret

August 3, 1970

Every so often Nate and I stopped to analyze our marriage, hoping to always stay up-to-date with each other’s feelings. Several friends had married and were sorry they’d done so, and we never wanted to get to that place.

After these analyzing conversations, I always recorded the results in my journal. That way we could refer back or even re-set if necessary. As we approached our 25^th birthdays, we decided the time was right for another moment of scrutiny.

One reason I was looking forward to the conversation was to apologize for something. Nate had always been a champion at complimenting me –whether it was something I did or the way I looked. I loved it, especially since each compliment usually came with a hug and a few kisses.

As for me, I wasn’t good at reciprocating. I felt a deep admiration for Nate and never tired of looking at the man I thought was the most handsome in the world. I often wrote complimentary notes about him in my journal, but often these praises didn’t reach his ears.

We talked at length, and my entry that night summarized our conversation:

I went on about trying to be honest with each other so that not even the slightest uneasiness could develop between us. Nate told me he didn’t feel “un-complimented” and assured me it wasn’t an issue with him. “I feel your love in lots of other ways, not just in compliments,” he said.

He followed that up with a string of fresh compliments for me… saying he loved my openness in marriage and my desire to be a good wife. He thanked me for loving him and, as always, expressed gratitude that I said yes to marrying him.

I knew no matter how I tried, I’d never be able to match Nate’s expertise as a complimenter. So I figured the only thing to do was to keep trying. I started by giving him a compliment on the heels of the ones he’d just given me: “You’re so good at making me feel secure in your love.”

It wasn’t the greatest, since there was a “me” in it, but it was a start. And if worse came to worse, I could always read to him from my journal:

“Each one of us must please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” (Romans 15:2)

One Year Without Mary

Posted on September 24, 2017 by Margaret

September 24, 2017

One year ago today, Mary left us, although that isn’t the accurate way to say it. She didn’t willfully leave us but allowed her departure to be orchestrated by God.

Scripture says Jesus has the key to death (Revelation 1:18) and that whatever he opens, no one can close. (Revelation 3:7) A year ago he opened death’s door for Mary, and her spirit walked willingly through it, right into eternal pleasure. It was God’s perfect plan for her.

That’s the encouraging thing about a loved one’s passing. If we, like Mary, have loved and followed Jesus in our earthly lives, death’s door is simply a passageway to a glorious new life we can’t possible picture now.

Knowing that, however, doesn’t ease the sorrow in the rest of us. Throughout this day, our minds have been filled with Mary – sweet remembrances and the thousand-and-one-ways we each miss her.

Bervin initiated a time of sharing tonight, to take place at the beach Mary loved so much. A bunch of us gathered to talk and let our eyes freely fill with tears, if need be. From a wide circle of beach chairs, we shared bits and pieces of who Mary was to each of us by way of things we hold dear about her now – memories from silly to serious.

Bervin coaxed Scripture from us by asking if anyone could recall Bible passages that Mom/Grandma had taught them. As 7 young children played in the middle of our circle, the verses came forth. And in reciting those, we remembered how much Mary loved the Word of God.

It’s mindboggling to realize she is now loving THE Word, face-to-face. (John 1:1) And as one of her children said tonight, “She’s also got all the answers to all the questions the rest of us are still asking.”

Later, as we warmed hot dogs over our fire on a perfect weather-evening, the sun set over Lake Michigan. And we concluded that none of us knows who will next join Mary or when that might be.

But if she had walked up to our circle on the beach tonight with a bit of advice from her life “on the other side,” she probably would have said something like this: “Trust God with your life… and death. Study your Bibles. And be sure you say these words to others often: I love you.

“Because after all, you never know…”

“The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.” (Proverbs 4:18)