Newlywed Love (#63)

May 22, 1970

 

These days Nate and I were so worn out that after school we often found ourselves sprawled on the living room floor or the couch — hoping to catch 40 winks before dinner.

Tired.

One late afternoon I was so tired I slept straight through till morning.

Tired

The cause of all this fatigue was our frequent late nights with friends. Often we’d share dinners that began at 10:00 PM and continued into the wee hours. But the exhaustion was probably a result of tension, too, as we worried about the big shifts coming when summer arrived — followed by more unknowns in the fall.

One day when I got home from work, Nate met me at the door with a long white envelope that had just arrived. “From the Board of Ed,” he said. “I think your wait is over.” I was wide awake in an instant and tore it open.

“I hope it’s good news,” he said.

The envelope contained several pages and presented a good-news-bad-news scenario. The good news was very good: I’d been hired to teach kindergarten at the school on the other side of Danville. We were both relieved and thrilled!

The bad news was that there were conditions attached.

First, I’d have to attend summer school in a continuing effort toward teacher certification. This would be afternoon classes and seminars, 5 days a week for 8 weeks.

My student teacher in ChicagoSecond, I’d have to do 8 weeks of student teaching, also in the summer, since I’d never done it. This seemed silly, since I’d actually had a student teacher under me when I taught in Chicago. (right)

The student teaching would be done in a Danville 2nd grade, another curriculum learning curve for me, each morning of summer school.

As all of this sunk in, Nate and I thought of a third and fourth negative. I wouldn’t be able to get a summer job. And rather than me earning money, we’d have to pay out for tuition.

The letter was clear, though. If I wanted a teaching job in Danville, any teaching job, those were the terms. Apparently I’d slipped under the radar in being hired to teach the 1st grade class I was just finishing up. No one had mentioned summer school, student teaching, or classes back then.

“So…” Nate said. “What do you think?”

I thought about my Chicago friends with provisional teaching status who’d told me they were all being let go now. Had I stayed there, I’d be out of a job. That seemed to elevate Danville’s offer, and once again I realized that teaching without certification was a privilege.

“I think I’ll take it,” I said. “Besides, teaching kindergarten kids again sounds really great.”

And so God had answered our prayers. The wait was over, I had been given what I’d asked for, and we were exceedingly grateful. We even felt some of that exhaustion slipping away.

“Better is the end of a thing than its beginning.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8)

Newlywed Love (#62)

May 18, 1970

As the school calendar wound down, I was getting nervous about not having a firm plan for the fall. I hadn’t heard from the Danville Board of Ed after my interview and had no way of knowing if I’d be teaching or not.

ConcernedNate reminded me that patience was a virtue and suggested we talk about anything but that when we took our evening walk. Just before we left, we got a call from Mary and Bervin. She was breathless with excitement, and I wondered what might be happening. “Guess what!” she said. “Today I felt life!”

I didn’t know what she meant, but she continued. “The baby! I felt the baby move inside of me today!”

 

Ultrasound.I couldn’t believe it! Something about her statement made this new little person more real than ever, and I just couldn’t wait to hold him or her in my arms – the first new baby in our small family of six adults. It snatched my thoughts away from teaching and gave Nate and I something special to talk about as we walked around the neighborhood that evening.

Inevitably the topic morphed from Mary and Bervin’s baby to the possibility of one for us some day. It was no secret that I loved children, but Nate hadn’t had any experience with kids at all. When I told him he would make a wonderful father, he responded with doubt.

“Well,” he said, “at least we don’t have to decide that anytime soon.”

Loving babiesHe was right. Although I had wanted my own babies since I was a child myself (left), I also pictured myself as a stay-at-home mom. With Nate still in school and me supporting us for another year, that dream would have to wait — more virtuous patience.

As we walked along hand-in-hand I said, ”I just wish I knew if I would be able to have babies or not, if there was some way to tell ahead of time. Then I wouldn’t have to wonder.”

“My guess,” he said, “ is that we’ll have a houseful of kids and your dream will come true — just not yet.”

We fantasized about what our children might look like and what their names might be. Nate said, “I’ll be OK with any name, as long as it’s not named after me.”

“How come?”

“Because I’m named after my dad – nothing but confusion. He’s Willard Nelson Nyman, and I’m Willard Nathan Nyman. Everybody calls him Willard, and calls me Nathan. But when I was living at home, if someone called the house and asked for Willard, no one knew if it was for Dad or me. And when mail came for Willard N. Nyman… again, no one knew. Let’s avoid all of that.”

“That’s fine,” I said. “I know I’ll love our babies even if we name them A, B, C …. or X, Y, Z.”

And that night when we climbed into bed, I realized I hadn’t thought about my teaching predicament even once.

“Children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward.” (Psalm 127:3)

Newlywed Love (#61)

May 14, 1970

A-plus

Nate was a natural worrier, something new I was learning about my young husband. Although he was a good student, he always doubted his readiness for class participation and exams. I thought of him as one of those people who was “sure” he would fail every test but then would end up getting “A’s”.

My experience had always been to worry about getting a bad grade and then get one. It bothered me that Nate worried so much when most of it was unnecessary.

Worse yet, he was already stressing about a first law job, where it might be, and how grueling the interview process to get it would be. He was also concerned about how his active duty military requirements could possibly fit with his graduation from law school and his first “real” job.

My philosophy had always been to worry only about the thing in front of me and leave the next one alone till it came into view. But I had to admit, that plan often resulted in being unprepared and missing opportunities.

Nevertheless, I wished Nate wouldn’t worry so much. I knew that career issues were big for guys and that Nate wanted to be successful so he could provide for me and whatever family we might have. That part I liked.

Studying.Our differences in thinking, however, were probably one of those things married couples couldn’t change about each other. We’d been warned not to try that, and though I would have preferred Nate not worry so much, I knew telling him to stop wouldn’t make any difference.

He was programmed to be concerned for things far down the road, and the truth was, I could benefit from having some of that rub off on me.

I wrote in my journal:

Although I can’t share his worry and anxiety over his future career, I know the need of a male to be successful is great. I love him more for desiring to get so much out of life. And ambition is one of the qualities I admire most in him.

(I also admired his body, telling him he looked like Michelangelo’s sculpture of David.)  I wrote:

He’s so neat and strong looking, and looks like the statue of Michelangelo’s “David.” Nate is a beautiful, generous, manner-ful, gracious, tactful person. I’ll love him more with each tomorrow.

Journal

And with all that going on, maybe a little worrying wasn’t such a big deal anyway.

“Let God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.” (Philippians 4:6-7, The Message)