Newlywed Love (#45)

March 21, 1970

BlondieBetween Nate and I, he was the one with the beautiful hair. He didn’t think much about it, but I loved his heavy blonde tresses and encouraged him to grow more of it.

By 1970, most young men had said goodbye to their crew cuts and flat tops, which were considered “very 1950’s.” The Beatles, with their mops of hair, had hit the States in 1964, causing gasps of disapproval from every parent in the country.

More hairBut now, 6 years later, longer hair on men had become fashionable. Nate decided to let his hair grow over his collar and also to grow a mustache. I was thrilled about all of it.

Jumping on the band wagon, I decided to let my hair grow, too, though it was fine and thin and would never look as good as Nate’s. It grew slower, too, and my current not-short-but-not-long hairdo was, I thought, ugly.

 

 

Shiny wigI’d been wearing an artificial hair wig that had so much shine to it everyone knew it was fake. But as the weather warmed, it felt like a winter cap – hot and uncomfortable.

One day while Nate and I wandered through the local mall on our way to buy coffees, I spotted a human-hair “fall” in one of the stores. It was sandy blonde and was attached to a headband. Getting ready for work in the morning would be so easy with that! All I’d have to do would be comb my real hair back, hiding its choppy look, and slip on the headband.

Unfortunately the fall had an exorbitant price: $27  [$184 equivalent], much too pricey for our lean budget.

The fallAs always, though, Nate was watching me closely and listening to what I said. Within the week he had donated a pint of blood, presenting me with the money and insisting I use it to buy the fall. I was thrilled and jumped all over him in a show of appreciation.

The first day I wore the fall to school, my students scrunched up their noses and expressed loud disapproval. “It’s not your real hair!” they insisted. “It looks dopey!” But just like they’d gotten used to my new name, after a few days they adjusted to the new hair.

No doubt the general public knew it was an add-on, but I fooled myself into thinking it looked natural. And lightening my own hair to match the fall made me feel like a brand new woman.

Once I set aside the wig, Nate admitted he hadn’t really liked it all that much, though he quickly added that even if I was completely bald, I would still be the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen (….quite the exaggeration, in my opinion.)

As I worked with the fall and learned to care for it, I wondered if he disliked that, too. Any considerate wife would have asked him outright, before she opened the original packaging. That way she could return it, if her husband wasn’t all that fond of it. But I hadn’t checked with him – because I wanted to keep it.

And I wondered, what did that say about me?

“Love does not insist on its own way.” (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Newlywed Love (#44)

March 19, 1970

Nate was a husband who used words to praise, never to find fault. When I looked, it was clear which of us was contributing more positives to our marriage, and it wasn’t me.

No complaints

He cheerfully encouraged me through failures without the slightest criticism, and I found myself admiring his example – and learning from it.

For instance, as I made my first attempt at banana bread, for some reason the batter overflowed the pan. It dripped through the racks and spread out on the oven floor. I didn’t notice until the smell of burn filled the apartment, but it was too late for a rescue.

EatingDiscouraged over yet another failure, I couldn’t face scraping and scouring the oven, so left it for later.

Over the next few days as I used the oven to make dinner, burned banana flavored every meal and filled our home with an ugly odor. Surely Nate noticed…. but he never said a word.

As he loved me unconditionally, I often felt convicted of self-centeredness. Though my grumbling wasn’t about Nate, I often whined to him about other things, not realizing the extra stress this was putting on him.

He listened carefully no matter what I said and never forgot the words. Then he would do whatever he could to remedy my problem. His greatest desire was to make me happy.

If I stood in front of my closet and complained about nothing to wear, it wasn’t long before he’d surprise me with a little money attached to a sweet note – urging me to go shopping.

Noon note

If I whined about not getting to go out very much, soon a coupon to the local pancake house would appear with a note inviting me out to breakfast. Nate was a pro at demonstrating how to love well. And his good model became my good teacher.

Sometimes as we lay snuggled in bed, I would listen to his breathing in sleep, silently thanking God he’d been willing to wait for me. He’d suffered through 18 months of sadness watching me date another boy without ever losing patience.

Lying safely next to my loving husband, I was filled with gratitude that God had prevented me from marrying a guy who would not have been good for me, nor I for him.

Nate’s arms were the only ones I wanted around me.

“I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own.” (Song of Solomon 7:10)

Newlywed Love (#43)

March 17, 1970

St. Patrick’s Day turned out to be the most exciting day Nate and I had had for quite some time. One of the envelopes in the day’s mail came from Mary and Bervin. It was a comical St. Pat’s card with a cheerful message about them hoping to come to Champaign for another visit soon.

At the bottom of the card was a small arrow pointing down and saying, “Open.” Waiting inside the flap was the shocking message that Mary and Bervin were going to have a baby! I screamed and threw the card high in the air, jumping up and down, and grabbing Nate in a spin.

A baby coming...“A baby! A baby! We’re going to have a baby!” I said, over and over again. Our family had no young children in it, and the thought of our own little one was news I never expected. Dancing around the apartment, we celebrated this new life along with Mary and Bervin’s good fortune…. and ours. No news could have been more exhilarating!

I knew Nate probably wasn’t thrilled in the same way I was, but he was getting a huge kick out of my antics and was happy to bob and weave with me in our spontaneous dance.

Later that evening I wrote in my journal:

The biggest shock-a-roo and cool-head thing we’ve ever heard is that Mary and Bervin are going to have a PAPOOSE! How’s that for fabulous news?!?! I just screamed when I read it!! Nate and I danced around for 20 minutes – I couldn’t adequately express my joy!! Nate and I will be an aunt and an uncle! And Dad and Mom will be grandparents! GOSH!

The joy was still bubbling out of me an hour later when the phone rang. It was Lynn, calling long distance from Georgia. Don had proposed — and they were engaged! When they’d stayed with us just a few days earlier, Lynn had confided that she thought Don would be “the one” for her. When I asked about a possible proposal, she had said, “Not for 2 more years. He has to go back to Vietnam.”

But there she was, on the other end of the line, describing her Tiffany diamond ring! She told me they were thinking about September for their wedding, in the Chicago area. As she talked, I had to move up and down on the balls of my feet to get rid of the sparks of delight exploding inside of me.

Lynn plansTalking fast because of long distance charges, she asked if I would be one of her bridesmaids and said it would be a military wedding. And she said Don hoped Nate would be part of the wedding party, too. “Does he have dress blues?” she said.

I didn’t even know what that was, but learned that all the military men in the wedding would be wearing these formal navy blue uniforms. And her last question was, “Can Nate get hold of a few military swords?” Time ran out before she could explain, but surely it was going to be an exciting wedding!

The next morning Nate told me I’d been twitching and wiggling in my sleep. Maybe dancing? Or jumping for joy? Either way, those dreams must surely have been happy ones.

“Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father.” (James 1:17)