Newlywed Love (#19)

January 10, 1970

Now that Mom and Dad were fully recuperated from the back-to-back stresses of our wedding and Christmas, they turned their focus to our nearly-bare apartment in Champaign. Long ago they had asked if we wanted some of the furniture they couldn’t fit into their new, smaller home. We didn’t think twice.

Mom wrote that a small moving van would arrive by the end of the week. When the truck came, we couldn’t wait to see what was inside.

FurnitureIt turned out to be a table and chairs, a dining room “breakfront” with drawers on the bottom and shelves on the top, a couple of lamps, a set of book shelves, a plant stand, a living room chair with the promise of another one coming later, a round hassock, and an end table.

Mom also sent her sewing machine, just on loan, so I could make a few things – maybe a tablecloth and napkins (I was good at straight edges) and possibly some simple, A-line skirts.

New furnitureOnce we arranged all this furniture, our apartment began to look home-y. We decided to celebrate by inviting friends John and Cathy for dinner. Though I had no confidence that I could produce a good meal, I thought of a way to avoid cooking altogether.

We would unpack a couple of our new fondue pots, and each of us could use the long forks to cook our own. I did have confidence in my veggie-chopping/meat-cutting skills, so with a little hot oil in the pot, our guests could do the rest. Even dessert could be managed fondue-style with cut-up fruit and a pot of melted chocolate.

I bought some fabric and made a gold tablecloth (i.e. hemmed the edges and put a seam right down the middle). Napkins for each of us completed the set. Thanks to our generous wedding guests, we now had plenty of silverware, plates, and glasses. So setting the table for our very first company felt just like playing house.

First dinner guestsThe evening was a success, and the 4 of us sat at the table “cooking” for several hours – fun with fondue. Cathy and John had just put their wedding invitations in the mail the week before, and when they wished out loud for a fondue pot of their own, Nate assured them they’d have one by the end of the month. We’d received 5 of them, and if their wedding gifts didn’t follow suit, they could have a couple of ours.

Well after midnight, as Nate and I did the dishes, we rated the evening A+ and talked about who to invite next. Many of his law school friends were far from home and would love a home-cooked meal – even if they had to cook it themselves.

We had our doubts, though, about Nate’s parents, who planned to spend the last weekend in January with us. Would they embrace the fondue system? Nate suggested I make a more traditional meal, something nicer, but I wasn’t sure he knew the magnitude of what he was asking.

“Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” (1 Peter 4:9)

Newlywed Love (#18)

January 5, 1970

On January 5th, both Nate and I started back to school, and it wasn’t easy shifting away from our tranquil time together at the apartment. But we both admitted the reason it had been so special was that we knew it couldn’t last. After thanking God for our first month of marriage, we moved back into the world of law school and 1st grade.

1st gradeWhen the horn beeped for me in front of our apartment building that Monday morning, it was still dark out. But I scampered down the steps, eager to see my driving buddies, and was glad to jump into Judy’s warm car on a bitter cold day. After we’d picked up Linda for our 40 mile commute, we had fun sharing all that had happened over our Christmas breaks.

In our classrooms, the children wanted to do the same. My students and I all laughed as they competed to be heard, stretching their hands high in the air with gusto. “Oooo! Me! Me! Choose me!”

Show and Tell was dominated by new toys and tales of joyful holiday adventures, and I was reminded again how much fun it was to have so many children in my life. Their joy was contagious, and by the 3:00 bell, I was feeling grateful for such a pleasurable job.

Principal Scarce poked his head into my classroom that Monday afternoon, letting me know he was in the process of scheduling teacher evaluations. Mine, he said, would be the following week. “How does that work?” I said.

He told me he would arrive unannounced to my room, observe my teaching for a while, then fill out a form rating me. He would study my lesson plan book, inspect our room (and cloak room), and chat with the children.

Evaluation

Following that observation day, he would arrange for a one-on-one meeting to go over the results. I would sign and date the form, as would he, and the results would go into my permanent file.

This was new to me – and sounded like a threat. The Chicago Public Schools hadn’t evaluated us at all, though I had to remind myself they were in emergency mode when I began teaching. As they scrambled to find enough classrooms and put an adult in charge of each one, my guess is they intended to do evaluations but other things pressed harder.

When I got home that evening, I told Nate about the evaluations. The whole thing was unnerving, especially since I still wasn’t officially certified as a teacher. Both Judy and Linda had majored in education, and their paperwork was in order. Just having a degree in literature, I was the only teacher at McKinley on probationary status.

Since Nate had one more year of law school, I would need permission to teach again. If I couldn’t teach, what then? What other job could possibly support us?

As Nate and I talked it over, he spoke words of praise about how much the children loved me, but nothing he said could talk me down from my fears. Surely Mr. Scarce hadn’t forgotten the day Judy, Linda, and I had decided teacher training sessions weren’t important enough to attend.

Of the 3 of us, though, I was the most expendable.

“[She] will not fear bad news; [her] heart is confident, trusting in the Lord.” (Psalm 112:7)

Newlywed Love (#17)

January 2, 1970

Nate's familyNate’s parents had said goodbye to half of their children when Nate officially left home to marry me. I hadn’t given that much thought, since the Nymans had so readily embraced me, but it’s possible that was a difficult moment for their nuclear family. My family had already let Mary go, so when it was my turn, the transition was easier.

In the early days of January, a letter arrived from Aunt Joyce – who advised me wisely on that exact matter just as it was occurring to me. Surely that was God’s timing, since I hadn’t asked for her counsel on it.

She wrote:

I’m sure Nate’s folks must have a sort of “gone feeling” when the son takes unto himself a wife. Knowing you, I’m sure you will make it up to them 100-fold.

Aunt Joyce's letter.

I determined to write to my new mother-in-law often and include her in our plans whenever possible.

Aunt Joyce also wrote:

By the way, Nate gets a 100% vote of approval! We can hardly wait to know him better! We’re so happy for you.

She went on to say how much she enjoyed “every minute” of our wedding and then paid me a nice compliment. You behaved like a million dollars in some very tight situations. (She must have been referencing those pesky table skirt debates.)

Every line of her letter was filled with wisdom. She even hinted there might be times of friction in our future when she wrote:

Count on my prayers for you both as you enter this new and exciting chapter of your lives. I’m sure you will find more growth and meaning in your Lord and in your marriage as you find yourself insufficient, than in the times when you are on top, as it were.

Aunt Joyce's letter

Of course at that time, one month married, neither Nate nor I could figure out what she meant by insufficient, but we were glad she was praying for us and happy to know we’d be “on top” some of the time.

She ended her letter by saying:

Aunt Joyce and Uncle EdwardI’m so proud to be related to you! And we love you both. When are you coming to California?

We were thankful for Aunt Joyce for lots of reasons, and she gave us one more at our wedding. She and Uncle Edward bought us a color TV! Even Mom and Dad didn’t have one of those.

“Eat honey, for it is good, and the honeycomb is sweet to the taste. In the same way, wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it, you will have a bright future.” (Proverbs 24:13-14)