Young Love (#45)

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My mother threw us a curve ball when she told me she didn’t think we should marry in November after all. Nate and I had been progressing as if it was firm, but apparently she’d only been thinking “maybe.” Dad, as the middle man, tried to reason with both of us, but Mom kept bringing up “the way Mary and Bervin did it,” citing their long engagement as the better way.

Part of the problem was that Mom and Dad were about to make a big move, downsizing from their big house in east Wilmette to a small ranch in west Wilmette. Mom didn’t want to move, but Dad, ever practical, insisted it was time. They would move in July, and Mom thought it unwise to be packing, downsizing, redecorating the new house, and planning a wedding all in the same summer. She was right, of course, but two love-struck 20-somethings couldn’t see anything but each other.

marshall-fieldsJune 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m still upset over Mom’s negative attitude about a November wedding. But I have a strategy. I’ll offer to come and help with packing and getting rid of stuff. And in July, when I’m downtown looking for silver and china for the Marshall Field’s wedding registry, I’ll walk to Dad’s office and take him out to lunch. We’ll have a good conversation, and then he can convince Mom. I love him very much and am only beginning to appreciate him.

June 28, 1969 – Dearest Meg. There is some logic behind our choosing November, too. It will save double rent for a greater part of the school year as I continue in law school and you teach in Champaign. A November wedding also won’t conflict with law finals as a January wedding would, and the Thanksgiving holiday makes it easier for relatives and friends to be there. What sayest thou on all this, my love?

June 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. I say a November wedding, no matter what. I do realize our 4 parents have done a lot for us. They’ve put up with a lot, too. At least mine have. But once we’re married, we’ll invite both sets of them down to Champaign to show our appreciation. We will honor them as special guests.

June 28, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Remember, we have two sets of good parents, and we’ll love all 4 of them and eventually will convince them of our love, respect, and devotion for each other. I have the highest respect and love for your mother and father, and for mine. I know it’ll all work out in the end. I wish I could be there with you to help convince them. But this old Army = a deferment = law school = responsibility and ambition. We’ll talk deeply into this when you come.

June 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. Did I tell you I went to court on the Corvette? The two thieves got a month’s continuance on their case, although I won’t have to reappear. But both of them are out on bond, and I’m really upset that they might return to my street to do havoc on my car… or maybe on me! I’ll be glad when they get convicted and locked up! Gee, I’m scared. It was hard to look at them. The two policemen told me not to worry, but how do they know? One of the guys was charged with battery before, and drugs.

June 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. It was wonderful to talk with you on the phone last night. You musn’t worry about those two guys. They wouldn’t dare repeat their crime.

loving-comfort

You can be absolutely sure of my complete attention, understanding, and love. I know you realize this now. Nothing could ever convince me I don’t love you, and my love and patience will always be there… to comfort you. I love you, Meg.

“The Spirit helps us in our weakness.” (Romans 8:26)

Young Love (#44)

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As Nate thought about how he was going to propose, I was finishing up the school year in Chicago, mourning the loss of my sweet students. Trying not to think about never seeing them again, I focused more on my planned move to Champaign before the next school year began.

the-folksNate and I were writing to each other multiple times each day, sharing wedding ideas and making plans, and I barely noticed that I hadn’t clued in my parents on most of it — never considering how they might want to do things.

June 26, 1969 – Dear Nate. Today another teacher and I took our 40 kindergarteners to a nearby fire station (on foot) and had a blast. The kids got to see a fireman slide down the pole, blow the sirens, and pull out the hook ‘n ladder truck. It was very successful and seemed to energize the kids, but we were both exhausted when we got back to school.

June 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg, future wife. I’m writing at 2:00 AM after cleaning my field gear (tent, shovel, pack) and cleaning the latrine. Oh, this Army… At least they’ve let me keep my hair long. I know you like it that way. I’ve been thinking what a great Guide Jesus Christ is. He’s the only one with infallible advice for Meg and me.

June 27, 1969 – Dear Wonderful Nate. Your favorite kindergartener, little JoAnn, found an old jelly bean in the doll dishes today when we were doing a final clean-up of the classroom. She got so excited! It was filthy, but I didn’t have the heart to take it away from her — she ate it. I reminded the children about your visit and that you were the one who had hidden all the jelly beans. They all remembered you, which made me very happy. By the way, I wrote again to both school boards down state, Champaign and Urbana. No responses yet, but I’m not discouraged.

June 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I got a letter from my mother today. She said she got a look at your ring before my father mailed it, and she thinks you will be very pleased. She also wrote this: “I want to write Margaret and tell her how happy we are to have her in the family, and I also want to write her mother to show our approval of your engagement.” This all makes me really glad.

novemberJune 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. A little bad news here. I went to my folks’ place for dinner yesterday to talk about wedding stuff, since Mom is beginning to make waves about a November wedding. Our discussion didn’t go well. Mom thinks it would be better for me to stay in Chicago until you graduate from law school, teaching one more year here. She wants us to get married next summer. I tried my best not to get really angry at that bizarre suggestion. Apparently I hadn’t told them I was already looking for a job in Champaign and was planning to move there this August, two months from now. It doesn’t help that my brother will also be making a move that same month, from Wheaton College to American University in Washington DC. He’s very excited about leaving, as am I, and I think Mom is feeling “blue” because her kids will all be gone. It was a touchy conversation, but she isn’t on board at all. I’m not sure where to go from here. I wonder what she’ll say when I appear with a ring?

“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19)