Young Love #9

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On Dec. 27, as I readied for Nate’s long-anticipated arrival, my thoughts were a mix of confusion and expectation. I prayed, asking God to make it a good weekend. And I pleaded with Him to let me know what He wanted for us in terms of any relationship. Lastly, I asked Him to take thoughts of my old boyfriend’s visit out of my mind so I could make an honest assessment of Nate.

From my journal:

blizzardDec. 27, 1968 – When Nate walked in the door, I was surprised at how glad I was to see him. He was in shape and looked good. After dinner and a movie, we walked all over town in the beauty of a blizzard, holding hands. He asked me if I was willing to take off the glove on the hand he was holding, and he took his off, too. He said he wanted to touch my soft skin. I was pleased to be with him, and when he kissed me out there in the snow, I was surprised at my own willingness. We discussed the whole thing as it was happening. He’s definitely a different kind of boy.

He told me he was fairly sure we would be a good match in a marriage. I suppose we would. Our backgrounds are similar, family is important, and he loves children. He’s ambitious, intelligent, has his military situation under control, and is handsome. Of course marriage must include love, which is (as of yet) absent for me. But when I think of the different guys I’ve had in my life, I consider Nate in his own class.

chocolatesOct. 28, 1968 – Nate left today after presenting Mom with a two-pound box of chocolates. He’s got the etiquette all right. Bervin and Mary said they were impressed. I’ll admit… I was, too.

Back to the letters:

Dec.30, 1968 – Dear Meg. I really enjoyed being with you last weekend. I don’t know what the Lord will do about our relationship in the future, but I loved the way He guided it last weekend. Maybe we can discuss each other’s detailed reactions in later letters. And perhaps in person, when my finals are over in late January. Happy New Year 1969!  Love, Nate

Jan. 2, 1969 – Dear Nate. After thinking it over, I’ve decided the smartest, safest thing for us to do about our relationship is to completely leave it in the hands of the Lord. Because of my experience with (my old boyfriend), I’ve decided to quit trying to handle my own fate. Anyway, would you like to go on a “prayer campaign” by praying 5 minutes every day that the Lord’s decision about you and I would have the greatest priority? I want to be extremely cautious as we sort out our feelings. A broken heart, either yours or mine, isn’t worth it. Please expound on your honest feelings.

Jan. 5, 1969 – Dear Meg. Yes, prayer is the best course for us… solemn requests for divine assistance. I have prayed for you many times, and now I will pray for us. My finals end the 17th, but I must stay here until the 23rd when undergrad exams end. The Head Resident might let me away for the 18th. I would like to come to Wilmette. How does that sound? Answer very good. And keep praying.      Nate.

Jan. 7, 1969 – Dear Nate. Yes, I would like you to come again. Maybe you could visit me while I’m teaching. The children would love it. Or, if you can’t come here, I could come to Champaign. Maybe you’d better give me a phone number where I can reach you, if need be.

“Be kind to one another.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Young Love (#8)

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Life bounced along at a happy pace through Christmas, as I enjoyed the attentions of one long-distance guy and another up-close one. Both relationships were moving forward, and I didn’t see any potential conflict. I even entertained thoughts of what it might be like to be married to one or the other, but didn’t try to choose.

It had been a year since I’d seen Nate, and as Dec. 27 approached, I grew more and more excited…

…until an unexpected phone call knocked me for a loop.

getting-readyIt was Dec. 26, the day before Nate was to arrive, and when I picked up the phone, my heart stopped. It was my old boyfriend. Though it had been 9 weeks since our traumatic break-up, when I heard his voice, I melted. He asked if I might want to get together that evening, just as “friends,” and in a swirl of confused but lovely feelings, I said yes.

Since there are no letters written about that night, I’ll quote from my journal:

Dec. 26, 1968 – We went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, and it was just like old times – beautiful. Since we were now “good friends,” he was eager to tell me about his new girlfriend. As he confided in me, I had all I could do to keep my jealous feelings in check. I had to silently pray for constant support.

He told me they were making plans to move in together. Though I knew I shouldn’t have been wounded by that news (after all, we were broken up), it absolutely crushed me.

But after he was done mentioning “her,” I enjoyed every minute, relishing the time with him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He told me he’d have to leave my house by 1:00 AM that night, but at 3:30 we were still talking. When we finally hugged goodbye, it felt good to be wrapped in his arms again. He told me he still “liked me a lot” and hoped we could have many more get-togethers. He left close to 4:00 AM.

I don’t feel much like seeing Nate tomorrow. I’ll have to really work at it. I’ve just got to get a positive attitude before then, or it’ll flop badly.

broken-heartDec. 27, 1968 – Nate comes today, but this morning all I can think about is (my old boyfriend). But I figured out that his new girlfriend is the one factor preventing me from going back to him and laying my heart at his feet, which would be an utter fatality. So, I see that she is the Lord’s answer to my prayers, His preventive medicine for me, and I absolutely must swallow it. It’s agony! But it’s 100% effective…

“This is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

Young Love (#7)

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The count-down was on for a visit from Nate after Christmas. My non-dating, long-distance relationship with him became convoluted, though, when another suitor, this one from my church, began including me in his weekend rallies with Campus Crusade. He was spiritually deep, and I enjoyed getting to know him without the slightest twinge of guilt about Nate. After all, neither he nor I had made a commitment to each other, though it was obvious he wanted one. This friend and I began sitting in church together and taking long walks along Chicago’s lakefront. But I thought it best not to mention it in my letters to Nate.

lotsa-lettersDec. 13, 1968 – Dear Nate. Here’s a question for you: did you used to call me “Meg” in words or just in writing? I forgot. (Actually, writing is words, I know, but you know what I mean.)

Dec. 16, 1968 – I called you “Meg” in my letters and in person. Can you tell that it’s pretty obvious I would like to make a go of it with you? I could drive up from Champaign more often if we had a more serious relationship. Being alone with you sounds good. Actually double good.

Dec. 19, 1968 – Nate, thank you for your nice letter. I read it 4 times, smiling through all 4 readings. (And now I’ll bet you’re wondering what you wrote!) It was very complimentary. But maybe it was just my mood. By the way, are you Swedish? I told my family you are coming after Christmas, and they began discussing your name, Nyman. Dad held to his opinion that it was Swedish. I didn’t think so, but added that you do have blond hair.

coffeeDec. 22, 1968 – Dear Meg. Yes, I am of Swedish descent. My great-grandfather, Peter Swan Nyman, came from Southern Sweden to the U.S. in the 1860’s. He was a clockmaker. Granny has an old picture of him; he has a mustache that looks like the Kaiser’s. She also has a huge Swedish Bible published in 1762, which he brought with him from Sweden. You spoke of my blond hair as a Swedish trait. Here’s another…. I like coffee.

Dec. 22, 1968 – Dear Nate. I don’t owe you a letter yet, but I’m writing anyway. I want to tell you something. Tonight after church we had a party for about 35 kids, ages 19-25. They stayed until 1:30 AM, and I was co-hostess. I was kept busy serving food, instructing in games, pouring coffee, but at one point had a quiet moment to observe everyone having a good time. And before I knew it, my thoughts were with you. I wished you were among the guests, because I wanted to talk to you. That’s all.

Dec. 23, 1968 – When I returned from Army Drill, exhausted and cold, I found your note in the mailbox. It warmed me! You’re the best little Svenska flicka! Many times I’ve thought how much I’d like to have you down here as a student so we could see each other often. A very close and natural relationship would develop.

God’s wisdom… “gives knowledge and discretion to the young.” (Proverbs 1:4)