Young Love (#6)

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As the holidays approached, Nate was feeling swamped with watching over his freshman guys and trying to keep up with a mountain of homework. But he was not too busy to continue writing letters.

As my former dating relationship gradually loosened its grip on my heart, I began, ever so slightly, to turn toward Nate in a way I never had, thinking about him more often through each day’s routine.

Nov. 24, 1968 – Dear Nate. Your involvement with these 72 undergrad men and their well-being is really something! You’ll have a wealth of experience after your job as their counselor is over. I’ll pray for your wisdom to make the decisions that are best for your men and the school. I’m already praying for your safety. And I’ve decided to mail you a Thanksgiving surprise, since you have to stay on campus through the holiday.

the-holidaysNov. 29, 1968 – Dear Meg. Without your special turkey, Thanksgiving would have been another mere holiday; with your great, multi-colored [paper] bird, it was a celebration! Thank you! I would like to visit you after Christmas. Perhaps the weekend of Dec. 27th-28h? How is that for you? By the way, after this semester, law school is half over.

Dec. 2, 1968 – Dear Nate. Thank you for writing. Your letter was good, and the 27th and 28th are reserved for you. I’m glad you’re coming. It would be great if neither one of us were disappointed with the other. I hope we will be glad. As for me, I’m very busy with my students and getting ready for Christmas. When my head hits the pillow each night, I’m utterly exhausted, but happy. I’m thinking of letting my hair grow again. I just found some pictures of senior year when it was long, though, and I look pretty witchy. What do you think?

Dec. 6, 1968 – Dear Meg. I will see you at the end of this month! I hope very much that neither of us is disappointed. My men are acting up. Last Thursday night I bailed one out of county jail on disorderly conduct arising out of a dispute in a card game. Saturday night I bailed another one out on possession of stolen property. If anyone ever asks you if college kids are wild today, you can answer yes. But to answer your question, let your hair grow long. I love it that way.

Dec. 8, 1968 – Dear Nate. The 8th grade class at my school asked me to be their chaperone on their class hayride Dec. 22. I was flattered, but here’s how they asked: “We’ve talked it over and decided you weren’t over the hill yet and might be good on a hayride.” They weren’t joking. Boy, did I feel old at 23.

Dec. 9, 1968 – Dear Nate. I’m trying to remember exactly what you look like. So I looked in my old photo album from senior year and found a picture of you talking and gesturing with my father on our front walk. Do you remember that? Below the picture is one of me with two girlfriends. Boy, was I fat.

nate-and-dadDec. 12, 1968 – I do remember standing on the walk in front of your house with your father. I also remember very much and fondly, his daughter. The thought of college does bring many good memories — especially senior year, meeting you.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

Young Love (#5)

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With “the other guy” out of the picture, the way was clear for Nate’s letters to take on more boldness. He kept busy studying and trying to care for 72 college freshmen in an atmosphere of escalating racial tension on campus. And his letters became longer and arrived in my mailbox more frequently.

As for me, I decided a good antidote for a broken heart was to go shopping…. for a new car.

a-letterNov. 1, 1968 – Dear Nate. Guess what! I’m in the midst of finalizing a deal on a Corvette Sting Ray sports car of my very own! My brother-in-law Berv is helping me. It’s used, but what P-O-W-E-R and what jollies driving to work in it! YEA! It’s bright red, and a convertible. Poor Dad – at first he was dead set against it, and now he’s giving me the loan I need to make ends meet. Either I’m good at persuasion or he’s full of love. I think the latter. I love him, too.

Nov. 4, 1968 – Dear Meg. Did you ever think how much maturity and intelligence it takes to realize you’re not ready for a permanent emotional commitment yet? I think a great deal. It took courage and maturity to break up with (him). You’re prudent to date others and change cars (congratulations on the Vet!), and to keep active in your church work. Keep your mind on your future rather than on past romance. And by the way, there’s nothing wrong with going out with young boys. I’m 10 days younger than you….

Nov. 10, 1968 – Nate, are you pleased or dissatisfied about our new president? It’s good to know all the mumble-jumble of the campaign season is past. Our close friend, the Lord, knew all along that Nixon would win. I’m pleased that the entire thing is in His hands. Whatever happens now, we know things are under control, because look Who’s controlling! I’ve applied these same thoughts to my situation with (the other guy) during these first weeks without being attached to him. Every so often I get a terrible pang of missing him, but those moments are less and less. Before long I should be completely over it. Mary and Bervin have been sooo fantastic, and a letter of encouragement, such as yours, is a great uplifter. You don’t know how much. Nate, you’re really nice.

the-vetteNov. 20, 1968 – Meg, thanks for the photo of you and your Vet; both of you are beautiful. We had a little excitement which disturbed many of my residents. I spent much time calming people down. One young man was stabbed (a 6” arm wound down to the bone) by three other students. No arrests have been made yet, but my residents don’t want the thing to escape prosecution. Racial tensions are high. Your letters cheer me up and remind me (quite pleasantly) of their sender. I think of you rather frequently and would love to see you.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18)

Young Love (#4)

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As the summer of 1968 moved into autumn, the Vietnam War dominated our nightly news. Nate went back to law school, continuing with his ROTC commitment, and I went back to teaching kindergarten in Chicago.

It was a tumultuous time for our nation with violence erupting even on college campuses, but Vietnam wasn’t the only war going on.

On a more finite level, I was experiencing my own inner war, attempting to handle an 18-month relationship with someone I should never have fallen in love with in the first place. But knowing what’s right and acting on it can be miles apart. Meanwhile, the letters between Nate and I became more frequent.

thoughtfulSept. 10, 1968 – Dear Meg. Thank you for your letter. I applied for and have now become a graduate advisor in an undergrad dorm, which at the moment has me rather nervous. There was a demonstration at the student union; police arrested 300 students. This makes me quite edgy. I would like to come to Chicago, but this job leaves me few weekends. I definitely would like to see you again. Absolutely love to.

Sept. 19, 1968 – Nate, you sound like you have your hands full down there! We heard all about the arrests on the news. Be careful! Tonight I’m miserable with 102 degree fever.

Oct. 17, 1968 – I am very sorry to hear of your sickness. Take all your medicine and sleep a lot. And read your Bible, little girl. This counseling job has a million men (actually 72) depending on me at different times for many things. Such as letting drunk boys in their rooms at dawn. Be good and rest, my little vixen.

thinkingOct. 20, 1968 – Dear Nate. Your letter came at an opportune moment. Today is a blue day for me. I’m through with my strep throat, but I’m really going buggy. I think my dating (the other guy) is dragging me away from the joy of the Lord. There is a constant struggle within me to tell him we should break up and not even be friends, and then in the next minute we are arranging another date. Inside, I know it’s useless, actually detrimental, to keep our relationship going. But don’t worry about me. I’m trying to let the Lord handle the whole situation, even whatever is happening in my mind about (him)…. and also about you. I know I have been trying your patience, and I apologize. P.S. What does “vixen” mean?

Oct. 25, 1968 – “Vixen” means she-fox, beautiful and sly. When you write that you’re upset about (the guy’s) soul, I only can tell you to resolve it with your faith, which I think is stronger than love of any man. And let common sense tell you that snap decisions lead to unhappiness. If you don’t want to quit dating (him), at least date someone else, too.

Oct. 31, 1968 – Nate, thank you so much for your last letter. I have read it over and over, and its encouraging nature was a terrific aid to me. (The other guy) and I are totally finished as of one week ago. The initial grief was shattering. In idle moments I still find my mind wandering to, “Oh, if only…” When the heaviness of the heartache eventually lets up, I hope I will consider myself better off for having gone through it. I’m relieved that the break has been made. (He) opposed it, which made it worse for me, but thank goodness the Lord was backing me up… and people like you.

“Love does not dishonor others.” (1 Corinthians 13:5)