Seven Years Ago

November 3rd will always be an important day for our family. It’s the day we encircled Nate’s bed and released him from this world to head into the next – a most painful experience.

Today, 7 years later, our grown children and I can talk about Nate without that pain. Instead we’ve shared memories and expressions of gratitude today. We’ve enjoyed a spirit of celebration connected to the man who played such major roles in our lives. And we’ve acknowledged that he was given to us just for that time. On God’s calendar, everything worked out perfectly, which included Nate’s November 3rd departure.

img_0636-1Recently, as I cleaned a small store room in our basement, I came across an old, stained cardboard box. I’ve kept careful track of this box for nearly 50 years, because I’ve known what was inside: letters written between Nate and I from the time we first met till we were married. It was the chronicle of our love story – detailing how it grew from friendship into love, then from dating into marriage.

And so, these many decades later, it seemed like a good time to open the box and re-read the narrative.

I cleared the dining room table and cut the old tape, allowing the letters to slip out – a treasure trove of communication sent between Nate and I from 1966 through 1969.

Since we lived many miles apart when we first met and later while we were dating, the only option back then was to wait in line for time on a shared telephone or to write letters. Besides, phone use was expensive, but mail needed only a 3-cent stamp. As a result, our love story is all in writing.

Since the letters weren’t in any special order, the first thing to do was organize them by date. Luckily, Nate was a guy who dated virtually everything. And when I was finished sorting, I counted them all – 438!

438-letters

What a delight it was to take several days to read through them, remembering things I hadn’t thought about in decades. Nate knew he wanted to marry me shortly after we met. But I was just getting involved with someone else, not ready for any serious commitment.

img_3938So, going through these old letters reminded me of three of Nate’s finest character qualities: endurance, perseverance, and faithfulness. Though he knew what he wanted (me), he patiently endured my year-long uncertainty about him. Even when I wrote about the virtues of the other guy, Nate persevered with kindness, giving me the freedom and time to make my own decision. He never tried to “talk me into” liking him best, but simply waited…. and waited…. faithfully sending a letter every single day.

(Tomorrow: excerpts from a love story)

Love “….always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Far-Reaching Influence

My sister Mary’s life and death have caused quite a cyber-stir. Literally hundreds have responded to blog posts about her, and not just those who knew her. Equally as many strangers have reacted to her story.

Yesterday I received an insightful comment in response to the post about Mary being a hard worker. (Hard Workin’ Woman) My friend Terry (who didn’t know Mary) wrote, “Mary’s influence continues. Because of this post, there are a few things I am going to do, because I should do them.”

Then she added, “I am mindful of a verse as I think of this, ‘She did what she could’.”

At first reading, that simple statement might describe someone who couldn’t do much but at least did a little – maybe trying hard but falling short. I knew that wasn’t what Terry meant, so I decided to look up the Scripture to see who “she” was and what she “could do.”

What I found astounded me, and Terry’s linking of that sentence with my sister was a connection of highest praise.

It’s a familiar story found in Mark 14. Jesus had been wearing himself out, walking long distances, ministering to the poor, healing the sick, and teaching his disciples. In a few short days he would be hanging on a cross, and he was well aware of it.

On this particular day, as Jesus and his followers continued walking toward Jerusalem, one of the people he had healed decided to host a dinner in his honor. Three of Jesus’ close friends had been invited, too: Lazarus, Martha, and Mary.

alabaster-jarAs Martha helped out in the kitchen, Mary approached Jesus, who was already seated at the dinner table. Then she surprised everyone by purposely breaking a valuable alabaster jar and revealing its contents — worth about $22,000.

She proceeded to pour the expensive nard, a powerfully- fragrant ointment, on Jesus’ hair and feet, wiping his feet with her own hair.

alabaster-jarScripture says the fragrance filled the entire house, no doubt capturing the attention of every guest and even Martha in the kitchen. Some found it odd. Others were speechless. Several objected to the financial waste, voicing criticism.

But Jesus highly approved and defended Mary. “Leave her alone,” he said. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. She did what she could.”

That’s when I realized that my friend Terry’s comment had been one of utmost admiration for our Mary, who had gone through life doing what she could for her Lord and others.

But Jesus wasn’t finished.

He venerated the biblical Mary by saying, “Wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” Although she hadn’t intended to draw attention to herself, Jesus turned the spotlight on her, announcing to the dinner guests (and us) that what Mary had done was so important, it would never be forgotten.

Many of us will never forget some of the things our Mary did in her lifetime, either. That’s because she always did what she could.

Jesus said, “She poured perfume on my body…” (Mark 14:8)

Jesus in an Apron (Conclusion)

Yesterday we heard from Mary’s friend Donna as she wrote about Mary’s terminal diagnosis and the sudden return of her cancer. Several days after receiving Donna’s email, Mary responded with some reflective thoughts of her own:

From: Mary Peterson

Date: Mon, Dec 15, 2014 at 4:17 PM.  Subject: Re: My love. To: Donna Baer

donna-bThank you Donna, for your beautiful email. I have read it over and over and so appreciate your clear, honest perspectives about death and dying.

When Nate was dying, I was privileged to be a witness to much of it, my main desire being to help and comfort Margaret. Her children were magnificent with their encouragement of their parents, but God allowed me to be the one with whom she was able to share her deepest concerns and grief… probably a combination of wanting to protect her children as well as have someone of the same generation to talk to.

One of the things we talked about was how similar death and childbirth are.  Nate moved steadily toward heaven, just as labor moves a woman toward delivery. We marveled at the process, as he slowly but surely moved through death to life.   I don’t know about you, but ever since I witnessed my first birth in nurses training, I’ve always considered it a sacred moment when a baby is finally born.

I was recently reminded of that again, as I had the happy privilege of being in the delivery room as our Johanna gave birth to her fourth child.  (“Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning.”) And like birth, death seems a sacred moment as well. As Pastor Lutzer says, God is powerfully present at that moment, when we need Him most, according to His promise to never leave or forsake us. I’m trusting Him for that.

Now, as far as your kind words about being Jesus in an apron…  Margaret thinks that would be a great book title, but I’m sure I would not be a good model for it.  I do agree the small things we do, just in the process of day to day living, can affect others, and especially those coming behind us. Through this cancer journey, I’ve been reminded of that over and over as people tell of something that impacted and encouraged them. The funny thing is, what they relate, I have no recollection of!  Perhaps the little things really are the big things?

Anyway, thank you Donna, for your sweet words.  God used you to bless this old heart!  And yes, I do look forward to serving with you once again, in the Kingdom.  God is good!

With love and gratitude, Mary

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“May we be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.” (Romans 1:12)