Jesus in an Apron

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Tonight we get to hear from one of Mary’s fans, Donna Baer. Donna, a mother of ten, has walked with the Lord for many years, becoming seasoned with wisdom. Part of the reason is that she’s watched the examples of other godly women – like Mary.

saturdayIn December of 2014, Mary had completed six months of chemotherapy to fight her pancreatic cancer. Mid-treatment, body scans came back clear, much to everyone’s delight. But a few weeks after chemo was complete, new scans told a different story. The cancer had returned, which was an unexpected blow.

Donna composed an email to Mary at that time, tapping out some rich en- couragement. With permission, I share her letter: 

Subject: My love.   On Dec 12, 2014, at 6:23 PM,  Donna Baer wrote:

Dear Mary,

I keep up with you through Margaret’s painfully beautiful posts. I was heartbroken to hear the results of your scans.

Doesn’t it seem that death is a lot like childbirth? You sense it approaching, you know that there’s something sublimely wonderful on the other side of it, but you dread the journey. I remember that you were the one who taught me to own a Bible verse to get through labor. I chose Hebrews 12:2, “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross…”

That verse reminded me that just as Jesus endured excruciating pain because of the joy that was on the other side of the cross, I could endure labor pains because I knew that I would hold joy in my arms at the end of the day. In fact, each dreaded birth pang became a rhythmic, visceral reminder, vouching safe the bliss that was ahead. I pray your journey with the Good Shepherd is not marked with pain, but if it is, I hope that each pain will remind you that you are one step closer to the joy set before you.

None of us knows the hour of our death, but before you learn yours and I learn mine, I want to thank you for being Jesus in an apron for me. I came to Moody Church as a very new believer, and you welcomed me like I was an old friend. You forgave my pettiness and abided my immaturity, and just loved me. You lived a cheerful, obedient life out in the open, and gave me permission to watch and ask questions. You became my model (I know you hate to hear that, but you did!) of how to love my household and the household of faith.

So many of us are praying that the Lord will spare you and give you many more years with us. But if He has other good and perfect plans, I look forward to catching up with you in the Kingdom. I imagine we will both still be doing things there that require aprons.

Tenderly, Donna

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Tomorrow we’ll hear Mary’s deepest thoughts about living and dying as she responds to Donna.

“Encourage one another and build one another up.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Hard Workin’ Woman

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window-washerMary loved to work. She was a classic example of the statement, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” Her favorite answer to every request for help was “yes,” and she never seemed to run out of time to tackle one more thing.

Every Thursday when she came to my house in Michigan for an evening of fun, she arrived with a list of things she wanted to talk about. (She was efficient and didn’t want to forget anything.)

On her list were questions for me: Are you going to such-and-such a bridal shower? Wanna go in together on a gift? How much should we spend?

My answers initiated her next set of work projects as she quickly volunteered to send the RSVP for both of us, shop for the shower gift, and do the driving when the day came. In all the years we met on Thursdays, not once did I prepare a list of my own. I knew Mary would cover everything on hers.

gardenerAfter we’d talked through the things she wanted to know, she’d say, “So…. do you have any projects I can help you with?”

If I said, “Actually…. I’ve been thinking about transplanting some hostas from the back yard to the front.”

She would jump at it, saying, “Oh, I just love gardening.”

If I mentioned reorganizing the basement she’d say, “I really love to organize stuff.”

If it was painting, she’d say, “Painting is so satisfying.”

the-painterThe truth was, Mary just loved to work…. whether on her own projects or those of others. It didn’t matter who it was for, when it would happen, or how strenuous the job. She worked hard while injecting enthusiasm into every task.

For many of us it’s easy to rationalize our way out of saying “yes” to the needs of others: “I sure wish I could help you, but I’m awfully busy. Maybe next time.”

I’ve thought a great deal about Mary’s indefatigable willingness to help, and I’ve concluded it was born of a desire to please her heavenly Father. She put all of her time commitments through a grid of, “Is this something God wants me to do?”

server-of-foodIf his answer was “yes,” she didn’t worry about finding the extra time or energy she’d need, trusting God to give those things to her. And that system seemed to work well. She also believed Proverbs 14:23 – “In all toil there is profit.”

The good news for the rest of us is that Mary’s system can work for us, too, as long as we start by bringing the Lord into the choices we make for each new 24 hours.

“Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be achieved.” (Proverbs 16:3)

God’s Sneak-Peeks

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Those of us who follow Christ believe him when he says he’s always with us. He also says he’ll never abandon us or fail us and that he surrounds us with his presence. We believe all of it.

The problem comes in trusting this One we can’t see or feel. In our recent days of missing Mary, people have lovingly said, “Hold tight to Jesus’ hand.” Or, “I’m praying you’ll feel God’s everlasting arms around you.”

Both of these word pictures are sanctioned in Scripture, and we want to trust them as real, but there’s no visible proof – and sometimes it’s hard.

hand-of-god

(Michelangelo tried to visualize the invisible, above.)

God knows of our human limitations and the difficulty of relating to an unseen God. After all, Jesus was human, too, and experienced these same limits. Even during his torturous hours on the cross, his cries were to his invisible Father. So how do we bridge this gap? How do we believe he is truly with us?

The answer? It’s by way of the sneak-peeks he gives.

I believe God sometimes demonstrates that he’s close to us in real-time…. in touchable, visible ways. Our part is to notice and ponder what he shows us, deciding for ourselves whether or not to attribute these things to him.

During Mary’s sudden, short decline, he gave us several of these powerful sneak-peeks that we believe indicated his closeness. For example – Julia had given her mom a gardenia plant for Mother’s Day in May.

flower-potMary had put it in a stone-covered pot, writing a Scripture verse around the rim: “Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord Himself, is the Rock eternal.” (Isaiah 26:4)

Through the summer it had bloomed beautifully under Mary’s watchful care. But then her illness escalated, and tending to the gardenia fell by the wayside.

When Julia arrived to care for her mom, she saw that her gardenia-gift was needy. Taking a moment to pluck off the many dead blossoms, she noticed it didn’t have even one promising bud. But then Mary’s illness drew her attention away.

And then Mary went to heaven.

In the painful first hour that followed her death, after Hospice and funeral home personnel had come and gone, none of us knew what to do. Then, as we stood around in the kitchen without a plan, someone said, “Hey! Look at that plant!”

the-gardeniaWe were dumbfounded to see a fully opened, perfectly formed gardenia blossom on Mary’s now-healthy plant.

Some would call that a coincidence or a freak of nature. We’d rather give the credit to our unseen God who uplifted us in a low moment with the assurance that he was close by. And against all logic, we had a sweet-smelling gardenia blossom to prove it.

“Be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)