Nelson is getting good at being thankful, right in the middle of intense lung cancer.

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September 28, 2022

Day 3 on the chemo drugs for the second round. The side effects came back almost right away. Yesterday I had a fever, but we got it down with Tylenol. Fatigue, Nausea, and Fever are the 3 main issues. I could sleep almost round the clock.

My prayer is that my body can get used to the stuff and overcome the side effects, and that I can feel a bit normal, even while I take them. I pray that, Lord, to you, the God of my life.

I pray that you would help my body to overcome the side effects and get back to a normal existence with Annso. It’s hard on her for me to be half in the bag all the time. Please Lord, help me to overcome this stuff. Thank you that it works so well on the cancer itself. We know that for sure.

Thank you that you helped the doctors find the match and that the scans showed such good progress. Thank you that it’s possible for me to be cancer free by this time next year, or maybe even earlier.

Thank you for Annso, for her good attitude, for little Will and his happy demeanor. Thank you that he’s feeling better with the fever gone and everything from the vaccines he took. Thank you for helping us with the house issues so we can close right on schedule.

Thank you that the current owner is so nice and accommodating. I pray for honesty between all of us, that we can deal rightly with each other. And of course, I pray the house can close on time.

I got a call from one of the current renters at the house yesterday about paying the rent, and it reminded me that we are about to become landlords. What a trip.

Our church is like no other church I have been to so far. The people are so friendly, and we have both talked about how nice it is to have people who care, a small group to go to, and the feeling we are not alone. With winter coming up and all, it could be a pretty lonely place.

I trust you, Lord, that you brought us here, that you brought us to this church in particular, that you have us here at Heritage Manor apartments and will get us that house so we are close to the clinic and right in town for whatever reason.

I am thankful for your leading, which is so apparent in all our dealings. I am thankful for all your blessings, like the little family and our son who we are raising, despite cancer. We have a giant fish tank despite cancer, we are buying a house despite cancer.

I am thankful that you made all these things possible and that we don’t have to wait on everything. It reminds me of the verse in Psalm 23 that says, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies” (verse 5).

Despite the attack on us, the difficulties with the way I feel, the heavy limitations on what I can do and other things that this sickness puts on us, we are able to accomplish a fair amount of good and fun things, despite the rest of the problems.

God, you really do prepare and do good things in front of me and the spiritual forces of darkness who want to destroy us. Though it’s hard, you help us, and with your help, nothing can stand against us.

“If God is for us, who can be against us?” This is Romans 8:31. Thank you for the reality of your promises, Lord. Amen.

Despite Nelson’s physical su, Nelson remains astounded that God has given him a little family and almost a house–blessings galore.

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September 27, 2022

“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

Annso wrote that on her little spiral note pad she writes in and sometimes leaves notes for me. It reminds me to write her the 10 letters for her trip to Germany so she can have something from me to open and look forward to each day.

That was such a big hit when we were dating long distance. I can’t even believe that worked out with the opposition, distance, and time between each visit. 75 days each time, and I wrote a little note for each day. Pretty cool.

Maybe I can write a topic for each day. Something like: How it applies to my relationship to her and baby Will.

1. waiting – I count the days until we get to see each other again.
2. action – I’m thankful that we have each other and what a blessing God has given us with our little family, totally unique
3. productivity – doing nothing together is doing something
4. cleanliness –
5. remembering God
6. living in the moment
7. prayer
8. jet lag
9. reading

10.exercise

Yesterday we got another email from the loan officer who had another list of things to get together so the loan can close. I did my best and I pray, Lord, that she takes what I sent.

It is such a miracle that we are able to buy a house and borrow money at all, with our meager income, but it seems you are doing it for us, Lord. It even seems like our payment will go down from what it is now (paying rent). I’m grateful.

“During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard, because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.” (Hebrews 5:7-10)

I think it’s really interesting and applicable how it says, “…he learned obedience from what he suffered…” It’s like a process that shows the value of suffering. It also says that “…he was heard because of his reverent submission.”

Jesus cried out to God, who could save him from death. Then it says that he was heard, but we know that he went to the cross anyway. Strange. “He was heard…”, but then his prayers, in a sense, were denied. He went to the cross anyway. But he was heard. I guess that’s enough.

Ralph and I had a good conversation this morning about decisions, moving, getting older, having something to do, and other things. It was nice. Annso was up a lot last night with Will. He was vaccinated a couple times at the doc yesterday, so he’s got a little fever, making it hard for him to sleep.

Life has its challenges and we prayed for a son, so this is par for the course. We are happy, and it’s important to take it one day at a time, not getting too far out ahead of ourselves. I can get overwhelmed when I think of too many things at once.

For now, we are working out the details of this loan. Once we close on the house, we can work out the move and other details. I believe God is leading us to this, so he will help us. I bank on that. He probably wouldn’t bring us this far only to dump the whole thing now.

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“The effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.” (Isaiah 32:17)

After hearing testimonies in church, Nelson holds to the idea that God will heal him. 

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September 26, 2022

CS Lewis once said, “I love the dewy, cobwebby hours of the morning.” And I would say I have to agree.

Before the sun comes up (and that’s easier and easier to do, living way up north here in Minnesota where it comes up later and later every day), I’m spending some time in prayer, writing, putzing around on the internet. I’m looking at garage plans, or whatever.

These are some of my favorite times of the day. Annso and Will sleep a little longer and then the 3 of us hang out and read our Psalm and start the day. We don’t have official jobs, so we are afforded the time to do things like that. If there is a silver lining about having this disease, that might one of them.

I don’t have a job to go to, but can spend the whole day with my little family. Alternatively, having the strength to work a job would be awesome, and I’d take that in a second. But since this is what I have, I’ll chalk it up to a blessing.

“Sacrifice and offering you did not desire— but my ears you have opened— burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require. Then I said, ‘Here I am, I have come— it is written about me in the scroll. I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.’ I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, Lord, as you know. I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly.” (Psalm 40:6-10)

The beginning part is a common theme in the Bible. God says that he does not require offerings and sacrifices, and then down a few lines, he goes on about how what he really wants is for us to proclaim what he has done.

They have been doing testimonies at church. The couple that shared last time, shared something similar to mine. He probably had lung cancer, spent months in a coma, and stood there yesterday cancer free!

God likes when we testify about what he has done. “I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly. I do not hide your righteousness… I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help…”

Lord, you help us and want us to tell others so you’re glorified and so they have greater faith and courage to step out and trust you. I pray for courage to tell others what you have done.

I pray for the courage not to conceal your good deeds in my heart. Give me the words to say at the time, and the courage to say them. I’m thankful for this journal and the chance to write out the things I’m thankful for, for our little church where we know so many people who have welcomed us so openly and will, no doubt, give us the chance to share what you have done, Lord.

I have so much more faith now than ever that you will deliver me, and I will stand there telling our story to that group of people at some point. You have done so much. You have taken us out of Hawaii where we served for 6 years together as a couple, and brought us to this place of “wilderness,” and we are in it today.

But even as the Psalm says, “…you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies…” you have led us to buy a house, you have given us a place to raise our little baby boy.

You have let us have a fish tank and do things a victorious, healthy family would do, even while the sickness goes on and the healing is slow. You do those things despite the attack of the enemy.

Thank you for helping us in those ways. You are kind and merciful, Lord. You send us new friends and have old friends come around who bless us like parents would. They take care of us, bring us gifts, and pray for us.

We are blessed to be a blessing, that’s for sure. Oh yeah, thank you for cluing me into the credit card fraud that we have been on the receiving end of, over the past couple weeks. The same card has been hit a couple times and the company has been great at blocking the funds and keeping it from costing us anything.

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“Blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.” (Luke 11:28)