Nelson reflects on moving toward his 50^th birthday and remembering the wide variety of places God has taken him over the years so far.

                                                         >>>>>>>>>>

September 13, 2022

Woke up earlier than usual at 5:15 am. It’s a throwback to the days when I moved up to Michigan to be with Papa and Mom while he was dying from cancer.

I used to wake up about now and sit there and journal. Then I went to Honolulu, and then to New Zealand and back into YWAM for these last 12 years or so. Hard to believe it’s been that long.

And now at almost 50 years old, I’m infected with stage 4 lung cancer, sitting in a small apartment in Rochester, MN, married to the most amazing person I have ever met, with an infant son, fighting for my life, not really in YWAM anymore because I can’t be. What a crazy life God gave us.

Although I’m grateful for what we have and where we are going, although I don’t know where that is, I know that God is at the wheel. I just finished a full load application for a $175K loan for a house we hope to buy. Seems like God, but we don’t have the load yet, so who knows.

My level of belief for that stuff really struggles. Let’s put it this way. Banks don’t tend to be the most forgiving places. But you are in control, Lord. You have brought us this far, so you can bring us the rest of the way.

Annso and I are a perfect fit, and you have brought us together. I have no doubt about that. We sharpen each other in the perfect way. Nonetheless, I pray for the green light on this house, that we can start our life here in Minnesota.

Thank you for the seasons, that it’s not so hot here like in Hawaii. Thank you that we don’t run Kokua Crew or Little Red Church anymore. Thank you for your Spirit and how you speak when we are listening. Last night’s devotion was great about you speaking through the whisper, if we are listening. I think you had to shout to get me and her out of Kona. I don’t know what it would have taken otherwise.

Thank you for the contact we’ve been able to have with the Michigan clan and the others who live around here, while we have been here. You are a good God even though it’s hard, and you can seem hard sometimes. I’m so glad that loan application is over for the most part. It feels like I’m on trial when I fill out stuff like that. And on paper, I’ve never looked good.

                                                       >>>>>>>>>>

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when He delights in his way.” (Psalm 37:23)

                                                               >>>>>>>>>>

September 12, 2022

Thank you for Annso’s words last night affirming me, and the decisions I have made about buying our mopeds in Hawaii, getting the fish tank here, buying a house, and other things that take foresight without really knowing what will come of them. I have you and you alone to thank for that, Lord.

You guide me and direct me even in the impulsive decisions like the fish tank or getting chickens back in Hawaii. She resists me at first a little, but last night, she affirmed me after seeing that our Cichlids have little baby fish hiding in the rocks. How could I have known that would happen? That there would even be fish in the tank we bought, any of it? Of course I didn’t. You make me look good, even though I don’t know what I’m doing at the time. Thank you for that.

I pray for the wherewithal for more of that kind of prayer and leading. You are the best, Lord, and it’s so fun to be a part of those little things and see your hand at work. I ask for the right people to invite to hang out with me while Annso is gone.

It would be fun to have Jeremy come up again and Ken, maybe others. Please prompt me to invite the right people. You do this stuff even when I don’t pray, but I love the prayer about guiding our steps. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21)

That’s a hard verse to interpret, but maybe it means something like: We plan and make our lists, but God has his way in the end. Makes me wonder how much choice we have about anything. We seem to be just driven along for the purpose of God, some for noble purposes and some for the opposite.

It’s probably best not to over-think that too much, and be happy and grateful for the place we have. Here we are in Rochester, a place I only drove through with John Anderson en route to St. Olaf College back in the early 90’s with motorcycles in the middle of the night, only to run out of gas. What a crazy ordeal. I didn’t even remember that until he reminded me of it on the phone the other day. We stopped for coffee every 15 minutes, because it was so cold riding those things up here at night.

How would I know that I would eventually move to Rochester plus or minus 30 years later, with my wife and infant son? You couldn’t make this stuff up.

Mornings are easier than nights. The night goes on forever, though I am thankful I can lay flat now. I am thankful for being able to lie next to Annso.                                                                                              >>>>>>>>>>
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…. the God of all Comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Today Nelson is full of thank you’s and creates a good list.

                                      >>>>>>>>>>

September 12, 2022

Thank you for these morning times that are like the old times, when I was really praying. Thank you for the time we had in Hawaii. Thank you for the years of running and swimming, for Kokua Crew, and how Annso and I were able to lead that together. What a great fit.

I pray for something like that here. I don’t know what, but you can always do the immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. We have small group starting next week, Lord.

Thank you for the church you led us to and for how young it is. Thank you for friends for Annso and I. Thank you that her parents are here. I pray for strength for her when they leave, that she can be strong enough to dive into these other relationships.

Thank you for the answers to prayer that come way later, but that they come. You help us when we are weak. You pay our debts for us and accumulate money for us when we don’t have it. You work in mysterious ways. I pray for the discipline to stay in that way of life, unless you are clearly leading us into the way of working a job for a living.

It seems like this will never end, because my health is still pretty precarious, but at the beginning of next year, it might be different. Help us to know what to do. Getting or not getting the house could be a barometer of what way to think. Give us pliable hearts that yield to your leading.

I pray for Ralph and Astrid as they make plans and think about living in the US or going back to Germany. I pray for Annso and Will as they prepare to go to Germany in October. Thank you for Bob’s generosity in giving us that $1000 for Annso to fly over there with her Mom. I’m thankful that she can do it and that it can happen soon.

I pray that the time there would be meaningful with her grandparents and friends and that she can see everyone she needs to see. Thank you for being able to do things that seem impossible during a cancer fighting ordeal, like getting a fish tank and buying a house with 2 rental units in it.

                                              >>>>>>>>>>

The Lord said, “The one who offers thanksgiving….glorifies Me.” (Psalm 50:23)