Planning Ahead

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Our dog Jack is a faithful pal and tag-along buddy. After choosing him out of a group of shelter dogs, we’ve enjoyed his placid personality and gentle ways for nearly 12 years. When Nate died, Jack seemed to understand our grief, especially mine, and stayed close throughout each day.

Half asleep JackI know dogs don’t live long, especially 80-pounders, but I’ve had a serious chat with Jack, letting him know he’s got to be above average on this. That means no running off, no risky behavior, no unhealthy eating.

And he promised.

But a while ago Jack took a chance. While my nephew-in-law did some carpentry at the house, I set off on five errands, leaving Jack to take a nap. On errand #3, Drew called. “Jack ran off, and I don’t know where. I was using the nail gun, and he didn’t like it.”

Jack has never been spooked by loud noises like thunder, fireworks, or the vacuum. I wondered about the nail gun. But since he and I usually run errands together, I thought maybe he’d gone to find me. This was worrisome, since we’re not far from a four-lane, 65 mph road.

Drew said he’d go looking for him, and I called off my errands to drive the 25 minutes home. Fifteen minutes later my phone rang again. “I found him. He was sitting at the gate [to the neighborhood], waiting for you,” Drew said.

Never had Jack done this. How did he know where the invisible line was between our subdivision and the rest of the world? Could he have watched as we’d driven out the gate before and thought about it being my only way back in?

I know Jack is “just a dog” and won’t always be with me. But God has used him as my companion of blessing during these days of missing Nate. Twelve years ago, the Lord saw me as the future widow I would become and led us to that last cage at the shelter. It was God who caused Jack to sit quietly while the other dogs jumped and barked, which was what won us over. Part of God’s long-range preparational plan was to put this furry friend into my life back then, to help me adjust to widowhood 8 years later.

When we trust God, no life situation comes without him having first prepared us. This goes for even the traumatic stuff: divorce, accidents, disease, abandonment, death. When we feel we’re falling, we should never panic, because God has readied our soft place to land.

It was probably divine direction that caused Jack to run toward the highway today yet plant himself at the gate. It was the Lord who preserved my buddy, at least for now. And when Jack’s last day does arrive, I’m confident God will have prepared me for that, too.

“You need not be afraid of sudden disaster… for the Lord is your security.” (Proverbs 3:25-26)

Hanging On

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Nate wanted to go to Harvard University. He made his decision while still in junior high and worked diligently throughout high school, always reaching for his dream.

As a senior he applied early to Harvard, wanting to be in the first wave of acceptance letters, but had failed to consider one important factor. While he was the managing editor of the school newspaper, he’d written a series of harsh articles about two of the school’s teachers. In his opinion, they were more interested in coaching sports than teaching history, and he expounded on this in the newspaper.

Of course the teachers were insulted and let Nate know it. What he’d forgotten was his need for university recommendations from these same teachers, since he would be a history major. One of them had bluntly told Nate, “I’ll see to it you never get into Harvard.”

That might have been a frustrated high school student’s inflated opinion of the conversation, but the bottom line was a rejection letter from Harvard. Nate’s hopes were dashed, and receiving acceptances from several other excellent universities didn’t ease his pain.

None of us completely get our way as we go through life. After a crushing disappointment, it’s what we do next that determines whether or not we’ll be able to distance ourselves from the event. We can either mull it over again and again, increasing our resentment, or we can tell God, “You deal with it, because I can’t.”

I don’t think Nate ever experienced complete freedom from the malice of that history teacher. The teacher probably thought very little about Nate after he graduated, but Nate often thought about him. Turning it over to God would have been beneficial.

Last Sunday our pastor quoted Martin Luther who said, “There are only two days on my calendar. Today and that day,” meaning the day we meet our Maker. The hurtful events of yesterday shouldn’t be allowed to bind us today. It’s our choice, though. We can drag all the unfair stuff along with us, risking ruining today, or we can say no to that, with God’s help.

One day, after Nate and I had been married nearly a year, he told me the Harvard rejection story. He’d graduated with a strong GPA from Northwestern University and was about to graduate honorably from the University of Illinois Law School, so the Harvard rejection didn’t matter much to me. But as he talked, I could sense he was still hurting.

But we were newlyweds, and our “today” was lots of fun, so I tried to encourage him back into it. “If you’d gone to Harvard, we wouldn’t have met!”

I watched his pain melt, and he said, “Oh, I would have come back to the Midwest to get you.”

We only have today (which we know), and that day (which we don’t know).

“…of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” (Matthew 24:36)

When Charity Comes Knocking

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ConnieMy friend Connie and I have been friends for sixty-plus years, having grown up together at Moody Church, and among her many talents is being a fabulous cook. Since I’m not a very good one, I’ve always appreciated her abilities in the kitchen and have gobbled up many a meal from her hands.

But one particular incident will always come to mind when I think of Connie. It involved food but no cooking, and it happened 20 years ago. On a frosty morning in 1994, she stepped through my kitchen door carrying two overloaded grocery bags.

Wiping the dishwater from my hands, I said, “What’s all this?”

“Never mind,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

I followed her outside, oblivious to the winter winds, questioning her as I went. “What’s going on?” But I stopped short when I saw eight more big brown bags lined up in her car.

“The Lord told me to do something,” she said, “and I’m just doing what I’ve been told. You’re getting your kitchen stocked.”

“Oh no,” I said. “You can’t do that!”

But she deflected my objections. “Don’t get in the way of a blessing.”

Our family had been struggling financially for several years, and for me as a stay-at-home mom of seven, panic was never far away. This day a couple of my cabinet shelves were completely empty, shelves that once couldn’t hold their bounty.

“What do you mean,” I said, “by the Lord telling you what to do?”

“In Bible study this week one verse mentioned helping those in need. I knew it was God’s message for me to help you. So don’t object. I’ve gone over your head and gotten special permission.”

GroceriesMy eyes filled and I threw my arms around this true friend. I hadn’t told her of my rising fear over the near-empty refrigerator or mentioned that our dinners had boiled down to a choice between pancakes and soup. Yet God had, through his Word, given Connie specific instructions. Best of all, she’d obeyed. Knowing her family was also on a strict budget, I appreciated her gifts even more.

It’s difficult to accept charity. Giving is much easier than receiving. As I stood in my replenished kitchen that afternoon feeling guilty for accepting Connie’s groceries, God reminded me that charity is just another word for love. Connie had demonstrated godly love, which humbled me and simultaneously lifted my sagging spirit.

Later that same day my four year old (who had witnessed the food delivery) made a wise assessment of what had happened. “Your friend sure shares good, Mom.”

I had to agree.

“Don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.” (Hebrews 13:16)