“I need you!”

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Back in 1624, John Donne wrote a meditation that included the sentence, “No man is an island.” Since the beginning of time people have needed each other, beginning with Adam needing Eve. None of us gets life right by ourselves, and the presence of another brings more than just companionship. It often brings wise counsel, too. Asking for advice is a good thing, even scriptural.

Recently I’ve been reminiscing about my own mentor, Aunt Joyce, who advised and encouraged me for 39 years. I clearly remember the day it began. I’d just arrived in California as a 19-year-old for a second happy summer living with my cousins. A mob of us had finished lunch, and everyone had left the table except my aunt and me.

She said, “I know you had a great time here last summer, but you can’t be sure it’ll be the same this year. It could go either way.”

I nodded, thinking about her words long after I’d left the table, since that possibility hadn’t occurred to me. Her counsel had been practical and sensible, and in giving it, she’d put a welcome mat between us, inviting me to come to her any time. And for nearly 4 decades, I took full advantage.

Aunt Joyce, baby Nelson, and meAunt Joyce faithfully prayed for me and offered counsel until she died in 2005, at the age of 92. Most of her guidance came in handwritten letters which I saved, making her wisdom available to me any time. The miles between us never hampered our relationship because the bond we had was a sturdy bridge. Before Aunt Joyce died, she had begun mentoring our daughter Linnea (as well as many from other families) and was spending large chunks of time praying for her and the rest of us.

The beauty of mentoring is its non-threatening, non-pressured atmosphere. Aunt Joyce wasn’t my mother, a police woman, a professor, or a preacher. With all restrictions lifted, she could just be herself, and I could be myself, sharing back and forth without judgment.

We see biblical mentoring throughout Scripture: Joshua mentored by Moses, Mary by Elizabeth, Barnabas by Paul and of course the twelve disciples by Jesus. And just like I still have Aunt Joyce’s letters, each of us is privy to biblical writings containing all manner of wise counsel.

IMG_2755When I lost my earthly mentor, she left a void no other woman could fill, so I asked the Lord if he would be to me what Aunt Joyce had been. Although he often uses a variety of people to bring me through, he’s also just fine with doing it by himself.

“For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.” (Psalm 48:14)

Excitement in the Pew

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Recently, on the first Sunday of the month, I slid into church a couple of minutes late and sat in the back row. As the service proceeded, I enjoyed watching a family sitting in front of me with four young children. My best guesses were: a boy of 12, girls about 9 and 8 and a boy around 6. All were well-behaved, and the mother, sitting in the middle, repeatedly quick-glanced in both directions to make sure.

Toward the end of the service, she leaned over to her youngest boy, probably a first grader, and whispered, “You can take communion today.”

It was as if he’d been told there was a new bike waiting for him in the parking lot. He wiggled and squirmed with excitement he could barely contain, gently tugging on his older brother’s sleeve as if to say, “Did you hear that? Mom said I could!”

CommunionAs the plate of crackers came, he didn’t hesitate but took one and passed it on. Soft music played as he studied his tiny treasure, looking back and forth between his cracker and his mother’s face. She smiled and put her hands together to let him know he should pray, and immediately he bowed his head. When the pastor gave the signal to eat, he looked at his brother, who gave him the go-ahead. A similar routine occurred with the cup.

I can’t stop thinking about this little guy’s enthusiasm for communion. He made a joyful mark on me, and I knew God was watching him with satisfaction. I prayed this child would always remember the happiness he felt as he took communion for the first time.

Children are naturally drawn to Jesus. Scripture says so, and it’s still true today. God must have endowed them with a special understanding of his love. They never question it and usually receive salvation as the uncomplicated gift it is. They have no thoughts of “what about this or that…” and simply trust that he is who he says he is. What delight this must bring to the heart of the Father. If only we adults could think in the same unfettered way.

This little boy’s behavior showed he’d been prepared for communion and schooled in the deep significance of the cross. I hope when he put his head on the pillow that night, his mom or dad asked for his thoughts about the morning. He might have taught them something special.

Once in a while, all of us would do well to think like a child.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” (Rev. 3:20)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for long, nourishing naps after chemo treatments.
  2. Pray for wisdom on Wednesday as we meet again with the GI specialist about the painful feeding tube.
  3. Pray that the mild nausea I’m experiencing tonight won’t flare up tomorrow.
  4. Pray for enough strength to have fun with 5 grandchildren this week.

Grow… Grow… Grow…

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Margaret and MarjieWhen I was in 6th grade, Marjie Simmons (not her real name) was my best friend. One school day we were outside during recess when she said, “Something bad’s gonna happen.”

“What?” I said.

“We’re moving.”

I was speechless. Marjie said she wouldn’t be going to 7th grade with me, because she’d be living over 1000 miles away. This was devastating. When I told Mom, she kindly sympathized, but Dad said, “What’s all the fuss about? Before long you’ll forget all about her.”

My eleven-year-old heart was broken, because in my mind Marjie would always be #1. The thought of forgetting her was beyond comprehension. Although Dad hadn’t spoken with much tact, it turned out he was right. The sadness of Marjie’s departure didn’t last long, and other girlfriends soon took her place.

Marjie probably moved away from our friendship without difficulty, just as I did, because children go through life-changes like water through a funnel. They’re not the only ones changing, though. We adults have to change, too, since not changing leads to no place good.

Tying shoesA child’s goals are reachable: learning to walk, tying a bow, writing a name. Later it’s a little more work: conquering a sport, getting a license, buying a car. Once the childhood goals are met, things get downright complicated: choosing a career, finding a mate, conquering a bad habit. As our decisions grow in importance, we have to grow in maturity, and that includes the most difficult growth-arena, spiritual maturity.

My sister Mary and I once had a talk about our prayer lives. Compared to the volume of Mom’s praying, we were pathetic, still riding on her spiritual coattails as grown women. But eventually both of us succumbed to God’s conviction and responded to his prayer-invitation.

Then Mom died. We found ourselves wondering who would fill the prayer-void Mom had left, especially in reference to our own families.

“Maybe that’s us?” I said.

“And we arrived just in time,” Mary said, in a reference to Mom’s departure.

Although that change was long in coming, it’s one example of spiritual growth. We all have change-choice options. I should always be asking, “How can I do better? What does God want me to do now? Where can I improve?” To follow his lead is to avoid a stall or a stagnation.

Marjie Simmons and I quickly grew apart as kids, exactly as Dad had predicted. If we met again, both of us would have changed radically since our days together in 6th grade. But maybe if I did find her, we could be brand new friends.

I wonder if she’s on Facebook…

”We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then… you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.” (Colossians 1:9-10)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Please pray that the anti-nausea IV before tomorrow’s chemo (#11) will work as well as it did last Monday.
  2. I’m thankful for summer, because of extra time with children and grandchildren.