Getting to Know You

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About a year after Nate died, I discovered something new about him. Actually, two things.

FlashbackA guest at our home stumbled across a copy of “The Flashback,” a school yearbook published in 1958. It has Nate’s name printed on the inside flap, and his picture is on several of its 55 pages. Apparently Churchill Junior High School was brand new that year, opening its doors to 1000 students 57 years ago, on September 3, 1957. I went on line and learned the school is still functioning, although today it isn’t labeled “state of the art” as it was in the fifties.

Paging through the yearbook is a visual of American history. Girls wore skirts or dresses with saddle shoes and rolled down socks. The rule, wrote one girl, was “blouses tucked in or a trip to the advisor’s office.” The boys had short hair, tucked shirts, belts, slacks, no blue jeans.

Football teamSo, what did I learn about Nate?

First, I never knew he played football! I did know of his interest in the high school newspaper (the editor) and the debate team (the captain) but was surprised to see him kneeling in the second row with the team (far left). In 40 years of marriage I never saw Nate toss a football, and he attended school games only to see Hans play in the marching band.

The second surprise was his keen interest in girls. At the age of 12, he was already watching carefully. His yearbook has a penciled X next to the faces of those he considered cute and a line under their names. He’d highlighted eight girls in all.

I loved reading the farewell messages on the autograph pages, particularly the note from a buddy who mentioned one of the X-ed girls: “Nathan. To a good friend who kept me up (April 12, Sunday morning) to 2:00 AM on Marilyn and her features. Lots of Luck. Bruce.” Had I seen this gem a year ago, I would have asked Nate a few questions.

None of us can know everything about somebody else, not even a long-term spouse. That’s because we’re good at covering things up, and we don’t especially want to be fully known. But Scripture tells us God does know us fully, like it or not. It doesn’t affect what he feels about us, though, and what he feels is intense love.

Nothing we do surprises him or changes his mind about us. This is a huge relief, because it means we don’t have to play games or hide anything from him.

Yearbook photoI’m sure the 12-year-old Nate hid his feelings from Marilyn and never let her know how enamored he was of her “features”. But all in all, it’s probably best that she never knew.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Chemo #8 went as usual today. I’m thankful for answered prayer about side effects continuing to be mild. Thank you!
  2. I praise God for generous, encouraging friends!

In a Timely Manner

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Train couponMany months after Nate died, I came across an expired coupon worth $8.00. The title read, “NICTD CONFIRMATION OF A LATE TRAIN.” Google let me know that NICTD stood for Northern Indiana Commuter Transportation District, and it was clear what had happened.

Before Nate and I moved to SW Michigan in 2009, he had commuted to Chicago’s Loop from the suburbs for 37 years. After we moved, he still traveled to the Loop, but from the opposite direction, riding the South Shore Line from Michigan City.

Although Nate often bragged about the punctual Chicago trains, apparently the NICTD didn’t have the same track record. Many late trains coaxed them to establish a coupon system offering passengers a pay-back for extreme tardiness. Along the side of Nate’s coupon it reads, “60+MINUTES LATE.” That’s a woefully overdue train.

The cross-shaped punches in Nate’s coupon indicate he was on board this “at least 60+ minutes late” train on his fourth commuting day. With his back in severe pain and his body suffering from hidden pancreatic cancer, he must have been beyond miserable while the train sat on a track neither here nor there.

I can tell from Nate’s oversized handwriting on the coupon that he was frustrated. I don’t know why he never redeemed it, surely intending to do so on principle. He used to say that when someone contracts to be on time, they should be, and each ticket purchased is a mini-contract.

Nate was always on time. If he was late for anything, it was because I had something to do with it, an aggravation during our early years together. He was right to be punctual, and I was wrong to be late. But as married people learn to do when compromise doesn’t work, one partner gives in, and with us it was Nate. I wish I’d tried harder to pull myself together.

South Shore LineBut God was watching, appreciating Nate’s desire to be on time. I say that because God is never late, and we are to emulate him. He usually waits to act until we think he is late, but when he comes through, it’s always spectacular. In this, he’s trying to teach us it’s important to be on time.

Those who’ve mastered punctuality on earth have already stockpiled treasure in heaven. Nate gets double credit for his efforts, because he put the interests of his wife ahead of his own by giving me grace. But both “early people” and “late people” will get some time-related perks in paradise. The “earlies” will never again have to struggle with the “lates”, and the “lates” will have all the time they need.

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand. (Psalm 31:14-15)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. As I receive infusion #8 tomorrow, I thank you for praying against nausea.
  2. My extra-busy week continues through this week as well. Thank you for your prayers for stamina and proper rest.

Summer Fun

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Our family has been coming to the same stretch of Michigan sand every summer for 68 years. Although the dimensions of the beach change each year based on the depth of the lake, one beach feature has always been there: the creek.

The creek emergesAs kids we played endlessly in Deer Creek, a shallow, moving mini-river of water flowing mysteriously out of dark woods into Lake Michigan. Despite summers when algae grew on its surface or bark turned the water brown, nothing could keep us out of it.

If we left the beach and followed the creek into its deep woods we would find treasure beneath the water: minnows, sparkle-rocks and best of all, gray clay. During the carefree days before we hit the double-digit years, we were sure this clay was the key to flawless beauty. Working carefully on ourselves and each other to cover every square inch of exposed skin, we’d emerge from the woods looking like a potter’s wheel had gone berserk.

In the 1950’s, creek mosquitoes were so thick we often resembled measle-infected kids. Regardless, we followed the creek as far as we could, thinking it “went forever.” Sometimes wild winds knocked trees down, creating perfect bridges. We’d run back and forth, competing to see who could cross the fastest before mis-stepping and crashing into the water. During moments of rest, we’d straddle the “bridge” and talk for hours, sharing childhood secrets. Our parents let us roam, never nervous over our safety. Such freedom is a perk today’s children don’t often enjoy.

Deer CreekLast summer Jack and I had a carefree adventure of our own. Since the creek flows through the woods behind our cottage, we decided to walk home from the beach in its water. Between fallen trees, slippery rocks, tangled roots, and low-hanging branches, we barely made it. But I felt like a kid again, and it was worth the effort.

There aren’t many people following the creek these days. Parents need to keep a closer watch over their children, worrying about who else might be in the woods. (Thankfully there’s never been an incident nearby.) Maybe the kids are all on the internet or playing video games. Whatever the reason, they’re missing one of summer’s delights, not to mention a choice chance to learn about the Creator.

Exploring the features of Deer Creek is like nature’s summer school. Even studying the tiny body of a mosquito can teach children about God’s attention to detail and can initiate a special admiration for him. Although God can be appreciated for his part in the world of technology too, catching minnows in a beach towel or harvesting a bucket of sticky clay might be a superior route to getting acquainted with him.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31)