Here comes the bride!

Posted on by

???????????????????????????????One of life’s happiest moments is when a girl becomes engaged and begins planning her wedding. The first thing she wants to do is go shopping for a wedding gown, a once-in-a-lifetime treat. I remember doing this myself 45 years ago with half a dozen of us  crammed into the dressing room, a party to be sure.

???????????????????????????????Most recently I got in on daughter Linnea’s gown- shopping in 2003. Her two younger sisters came along, and the sales lady included them in all the happy hubbub.

Our upcoming family wedding will be for Mary and Bervin’s daughter Stina in September. She’s currently on her quest for just the right gown, and yesterday she let me tag along on her shopping trip.

Stina in a gownThis tall, slender girl looked lovely in every design she modeled, but she had clear ideas of what was acceptable and what wasn’t and is holding out for her dream dress.

Weddings are important. Of course it’s about the couple more than the dress, but a graceful white gown does stand for something. Though brides of Europe and the States traditionally wore darker (more practical) wedding outfits until the late 1800’s, white became popular after Queen Victoria appeared in a lacy white wedding gown to marry Prince Albert.

White came to represent innocence and purity, and fancy gowns became one-use-only expenses considered appropriately lavish for such a momentous day.

It’s interesting that God uses the image of a bride in Scripture. Most make reference to Jesus as the groom and believers as his collective bride. This might be difficult symbolism for a man to grasp, since he never becomes an earthly bride, but we women can easily fit ourselves into such a picture. And when God talks about the bride “preparing herself for the groom,” we get it.

The processBut how do we prepare to marry Jesus? Certainly he’s not talking about going shopping for a gown or putting money down on a caterer. Scripture actually says he’ll supply the wedding clothes, the food, and everything else.

Instead he wants us to prepare ourselves by focusing on our hearts, completely abandoning ourselves to a love relationship with him unlike any other. No doubt he’s hoping the bridal imagery will show us what to shoot for: loyal devotion to him, an ongoing effort to please him, and a desire to spend eternity with him. He also wants us to know how eager he is to embrace us as his bride.

Earthy weddings are important to God, and he offers to be a part of each union. Nevertheless, every couple routinely has ups and downs along the way. But when it comes time to be the bride of Christ, our marriage is going to be absolutely perfect.

“As a groom rejoices over his bride, so your God will rejoice over you.” (Isaiah 62:5)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Though the last 24 hours have been dominated by terrible nausea and vomiting, I praise the Lord that tonight it’s lessening.
  2. Please pray against such fierce nausea after chemo #4.
  3. I’m so thankful next week is a week off!

Blind Trust

Posted on by

Today while driving from southwest Michigan to Illinois, I paid close attention to the signs: route 94 to the Indiana Toll Road to the Dan Ryan Expressway to Lake Shore Drive to Michigan Avenue to my destination in the Loop.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe closer I got to downtown Chicago, the greater the importance of trusting the road signs. If I used a natural sense of direction instead, I couldn’t have gotten where I wanted to go.

One spot on the route became particularly tricky. The goal was to get from the Dan Ryan (on the west) to Lake Shore Drive (on the east). Though my brain wanted to make a right turn, west to east, the signs said, “Stay left.” The only way to successfully make the transition was to blindly trust the directions.

Chemo confusionMy reason for the trip was to spend the day with Mary as she endured her third infusion treatment. As it turns out, chemotherapy goes better with a little blind trust, too. She had to surrender to the instructions, even when they made no sense.

For instance, when the hospital staff said, “Doing a blood draw will be a help,” it was only later, after the results, she learned they couldn’t have proceeded with chemo unless the counts had been high enough. And when killer-poison was being dripped into her veins they said, “This will extend your life.” Only blind trust will cause her to believe that.

Our spiritual lives require a bit of blind trust, too. When he says the trials that weaken us will make us stronger, it seems he’s directing us up the wrong ramp. Or when we hear, “The person who loses his life for my sake will find it,” we scratch our heads and say, “Huh?”

photo(5)Maybe the key to all of these “blind” situations is to look at who or what is being trusted. Have the road signs been put up by way of accurate maps? Has the chemo staff been well trained? Is our God trustworthy?

If all the answers are yes, then blind trust is the way to go. The only way.

“Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise that when fatigue sets in after chemo, I have the freedom to rest.
  2. Other than nausea and fatigue, praise that I haven’t experienced any of the many other side effects of chemo.
  3. Pray that the new nausea medicine will work this time.
  4. Praise for a week off chemo next week; pray that blood counts will rise again.

Leaving a Legacy

Posted on by

Today found us doing what we always do on Memorial Day: driving to Chicago’s Rosehill Cemetery to visit the family graves. This year we only had 13 family members due to holiday work schedules and faraway family locales, but the day was important anyway.

Laughter at the cemeteryMary initiated a discussion of shared memories, one for each name on the tombstones beginning with the baby for whom the plot was initially purchased. He died in 1911 at only 20 months. Our sharing about little William was minimal since none of us had known him, but most of the others brought forth many memories.

Memorial Days of the past have often been somber or even difficult, but this one was punctuated with laughter. Funny stories abounded, and I can’t remember a more humorous celebration of those who had gone before. As always I loved hearing stories about Nate, and many shared.

Toward the end of our time together, Mary and Bervin’s son Karl voiced something we’d all been thinking. “Mom,” he said, “you didn’t think you’d be here today, did you?”

At the cemeteryMary had to admit he was right, but there she was, feeling well and looking good. It was cause for further rejoicing.

Later Mary and I had a long conversation about the day. “Was it difficult,” I said, “to be at the cemetery, now that cancer has entered your life? What were you thinking?”

“….that I’ve gotten good at taking one day at a time,” was her quick answer. “It’s the only way to handle this.”

She talked further, remarking how today’s cemetery trip prompted her to consider the spiritual legacy she’ll leave behind when she’s gone. “I don’t feel I’ve done enough,” she said. But before I could refute that, she continued. “I guess little becomes much when you put it in God’s hands.”

“You know,” she said, “only God knows how much longer I’ll live. When I think about Memorial Day a year from now, it seems very far away. But life is made for the living, and I’m going to do my best to live well on each of the days God gives me.”

She talked about the beauty of the cemetery and the dramatic greens of spring, how she hadn’t noticed the intensity of nature’s colors until cancer came.

“God has blessed me every day,” she said, “and has given me far more good days than bad ones. I intend to count my blessings and be grateful for each one.”

Folks with cancer have two choices: they can get mad or get glad. Mary has chosen to appreciate life more than ever, now that death has threatened. And that’s a mighty good legacy to leave.

Legacies“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a great weekend with kids, grandkids, and beautiful weather
  2. Praise for a godly heritage
  3. Pray against nausea after tomorrow’s chemo infusion