Flashlight or Floodlight?

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Mary is a natural cheerleader. She encourages others in their pursuits and celebrates their successes with them. I remember how much her cheering meant to me when I began blogging years ago. Despite my uncertainty of both the process and my ability, she urged me forward and became a faithful reader.

Tonight, based on last night’s blog about her future uncertainties, I’m posting her favorite of the 1374 posts on this site. She often quotes from this one, because the principle cited is a guiding light straight from Scripture. It was written on 9/3/09:

JackWhen our dog Jack and I take our late night walk through the neighborhood, tree-lined streets can be inky black. I always grab a flashlight, because without it, we’d walk into parked cars and yard fences trying to find our way.

Most of our flashlights are the dollar store variety. Their circle of light is small and often inadequate, although a little light is better than none. Then there’s the heavy flashlight with the powerful halogen bulb. When I carry that one, I feel guilty for producing a swath of light that spills into the privacy of people’s living rooms. It’s a floodlight in a tube.

Last night when Jack and I walked, my cheap flashlight was flickering with weak batteries, casting only a faint yellow glow in front of us. This was irritating since my light would only shine as far as the next spot my foot would land on and no further.

Scripture gives us a word picture of this exact situation. “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105) When walking along life’s path, I crave a peek down the road, into my future, preferring a floodlight to a flashlight or a lamp.

But God is the only one who can see all the way down the road. Because of that, it seems sensible to leave the darkness and uncertainty of what’s ahead, up to him. He’ll light it up when we need to see it. Meanwhile, he hands us the lamp of his Word. He says, “One step is enough for now. Walk into that circle of light in front of you, and let me worry about what’s ahead in the dark.”

Digital StillCameraLast night Jack offered the perfect example of why we ought to take God’s advice on this. He stepped in front of my flashlight’s beam, which suddenly cast his own black shadow directly in front of him. He startled, jumped to the side and searched for the dark villain he’d just seen, but the shadow had disappeared. The walk goes better if he stays behind the light and follows where it leads.

And I guess that’s good advice for the rest of us, too.

“Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” (Psalm 139:12)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. To patiently follow God’s light into an unseen future
  2. To gain weight; praise for the first taste of meat since March 16!
  3. Praise for a good day with visits from two prayer partners

Ha and Bah

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A little waveThis little girl adores her Auntie Mary, who was at the hospital the day she was born. One of the first words Emerald learned to say was “bye.” It came out with a southern accent (“bah”) and 4 months later, it still does. She accompanies every farewell with a swivel-wrist wave (see photo) and says bah for all manner of partings. Like when a piece of paper gets thrown into the trash, or when the refrigerator’s contents disappear as the door closes. She says bah to cars that pass and yesterday at the playground, as the wind blew dried leaves past her, she waved and bah-ed each and every one.

Emerald also says hi, which comes out “ha”. She gets the general drift of coming and going, which word to say when, but has no awareness of the passing of time or when the next greeting or parting will be. We adults have learned that hellos and goodbyes aren’t always arranged as we’d like them.

When Mary first announced her pancreatic cancer, she and the rest of us immediately jumped to the conclusion that our finals goodbyes were almost on top of us. Thankfully, we were wrong and have said lots of hellos since then. At Mayo Clinic we said our goodbyes before her surgery, just in case, but again were grateful to say hello directly afterwards.

Any cancer diagnosis gives new importance to goodbyes and hellos, though not necessarily in a negative way. Instead it prompts an awareness that life is fragile, and every day is a gift. Nothing is taken for granted or assumed. Instead, whatever time we have is viewed as unexpected and highly appreciated. A “normal” day like Mary had today, doing laundry and buying groceries, is viewed as a tremendous blessing.

Mary admits to battling fear over her uncertain future. Where will the hellos and goodbyes be placed on her life’s timeline? It might be better just to go with the “ha’s” and the “bah’s” of the moment like Emerald does, unaware of time passing and therefore not stressed about what the days ahead might bring.

Coming and GoingAnd just as Emerald watches her mommy for signals of when to start waving ha or bah, Mary and the rest of us can watch our heavenly Father for his tip-offs as to which message we should wave when, trying to be content to do it either way.

“Be content with such things as you have, for he himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’.” (Hebrews 13:5)

 

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. Pray for weight gain, that nutrients would be absorbed
  2. Pray that she will take one day at a time and not fear the unknown future
  3. Praise for connecting with several others on tube feedings who have leftover food to give away. (It’s like liquid gold!)
  4. Praise for a day doing “normal” things like laundry

Party Time

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Night skyGod gives each of his children gifts, everything from a new day to a good night’s sleep. He gives relationship gifts like love and harmony, and physical gifts like homes, food, and security. He gives the gifts of opportunity, confidence, and freedom. He gives providential meetings, coincidences, and something we call happenstance. And there are others.

He also gives spiritual gifts, at least one to each of us. When we dedicate them to his purposes, he usually gives us more.

My sister Mary has used her spiritual gifts to benefit others, and as a result she’s been given many, one of which is hospitality. For as long as I can remember she’s been the hostess-with-the-mostess, happy to welcome people in. Her hospitality also goes out, in the form of food, flowers, gifts, and hours of service to anyone in need. Whenever a list is circulated asking for sign-ups, Mary’s name is on it.

Dinner...One of her (and Bervin’s) regular in-house gigs has been to invite their own grown-and-gone children back for dinner once a week. Naturally those living at a distance can’t make it, but for all those local, the welcome mat is out. Table talk is lively, and the evening ends with group games. The single guys appreciate a well-balanced meal, and the girls profit from watching a pro at work.

Several of my Chicago-based grown children have been on that regular guest list too, and I’ve appreciated Mary’s extra motherly care of them from my post in Michigan.

Catch PhraseThe week Mary was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (mid-February), this group of 20-and-30-somethings had come over as usual, gobbling up pork roast, scalloped potatoes, asparagus, corn, tossed salad, and apple pie. Afterwards it was girls-against-the-boys playing the word game “Catch Phrase,” and Mary participated with her usual enthusiasm. That dinner, though, was her last hostessing for a while, since her focus was then pulled to hospitals, doctors, tests, and surgery.

Yesterday, thankful to be back in her own Chicago kitchen and feeling a bit better, Mary hosted a dinner for this same group of “kids”.

Dinner timeWhen I asked if she might be overdoing it she said, “It was so much fun setting the table again.” Not too many post-op patients are willing to make a meal for 10 big eaters. In God’s economy, however, when we use our gifts, we experience delight, not drudgery. Mary couldn’t wait to get at it.

photo(110)The guests ate heartily of Mary’s spaghetti casserole, but of course Mary didn’t get even one bite. Surely it’s difficult cooking for others without sampling, especially when your taste buds are calling loudly. But her body can only handle liquids by mouth and formula by feeding tube (see back pack). If all goes well, next week she might be given permission to introduce soft foods to her personal menu,

maybe even a bit of spaghetti casserole….. after it’s been enhanced by a blender.

“Be… hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.” (Titus 1:8)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. Pray for weight gain (still stuck at 109)
  2. Pray for Mary to “fix her eyes on Jesus” more and more
  3. Praise for the blessing of Moody Church (and its radio broadcast this morning)
  4. Praise for a good weekend visit with Marta and her safe travel from Arkansas and back