When Love Comes Easy

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If cancer strikes someone we love, it has a way of dictating an uncertain future for the one who’s sick but also for those surrounding her. In most cases, cancer becomes a family affair. Those who haven’t been demonstrative suddenly begin hugging each other, and everybody goes out of their way to be kind. Fresh bonds are formed, and declarations of love become easier to make.

These are some of the positives God brings when circumstances seem the most negative. But how much nicer is it when families have practiced kindness and love all along, before the crisis? None of us should wait for an emergency to work at forming strong bonds or to start hugging. Families can weather storms much better when harmony is already a way of life.

Receiving the albumThree months ago Mary turned 70. As a special birthday treat her children created a book of notes, photos, and greeting cards from family and friends, each one a tribute to their mom. Naturally her extended family was well represented in the album, along with scores of others. But when the messages were written, no one knew the birthday girl would soon be coping with cancer.

Life’s crises tend to come on us suddenly, often taking us by complete surprise. And frequently the chaos of crisis events doesn’t give us time to mend relationships or right wrongs before it’s too late. Regret sets in, and we are saddened to know we lost our chance to say and do all the good stuff before it was “forced” by circumstances. A better approach would be to steadily work at those things as we go along, day by day, keeping short accounts with those we love.

This week while texting back and forth with Mary I asked how she was feeling. Her answer was interesting. “I’ve been sitting in the sun [their condo has a southern exposure] reading my birthday book, overwhelmed by it all.”

Birthday book insideIf Mary’s kids had waited to make her birthday book until after her diagnosis, every single message would have made reference to her cancer, whether directly or indirectly, and the whole thing would have taken on a sad feel. How much more nourishing for her to be drenched in warmth this week, both from sunshine streaming through the windows and pre-cancer love radiating from her album.

SunshineLove should flow through all of us, certainly during times of crisis, but it should be just as evident on ordinary, nothing-special days.

“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)

Mary’s prayer praises:

  1. Praise for feeling pretty good and sleeping well
  2. Praise for so many encouraging cards/notes
  3. Praise for the richness of God’s Word
  4. Praise for a supportive, caring family

True Humility

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HumilityGod espouses the character quality of humility. He looks for it in his children but no doubt finds it far less frequently than he’d like. That’s because in our world, me-first trumps humility, which makes God’s values the polar opposite of the world’s.

Humility is an attribute developed in secret, and though we can’t actually see it, we have a sense of when someone is humble. It doesn’t mean being shy, or favoring the back row, or being a doormat. Instead it’s having an unpretentious opinion of our own importance, the opposite of pride.

Humble people are hard to find, but I’m fortunate enough to know one personally: my sister Mary.

Mary has been debilitated emotionally and also physically in recent weeks with the discovery of cancer in her system. Alongside these negatives, however, has been the positive outpouring of well-wishers and in particular, promises of prayer. When she talks about it, her eyes mist and she says, “I just can’t get over it! It’s unbelievable how kind everyone’s been.”

Last week when she said this, shaking her head in disbelief, I said, “People are simply responding to the many things you’ve done for them over the years. They want to help you, because you’ve helped them so much.”

And here’s the humble part. Mary looked quizzically at me and said, “But how have I helped anyone? I haven’t done a thing.”

???????????????????????????????When she said that, the book title “One Thousand Gifts” came to mind, a written list of God’s gifts to the author. But if I wrote a book about Mary’s giving it would have to be titled “Ten Thousand Gifts.” Or maybe “A Hundred Thousand.” All of her life Mary’s been a giver. Quietly, behind the scenes, without keeping track, without expecting thanks. Humbly.

And that’s why she can’t think of anything she’s ever done for anyone else.

Even now, while facing significant surgery, time in an intensive care unit, and a recuperation that will be followed by chemotherapy, Mary’s thought is, how can I shine for Jesus through all this. She wants to know how she can impact nurses, doctors, tech people, anyone who crosses her path, with the love of Christ. And because God wants the same thing, he will see to the details.

None of this means Mary isn’t tempted to fear the unknown or give in to doubt. Just today she wrote in an email: “I’ve hidden Scripture verses in my heart, and by His grace, I’m reminded of them when I need them most. I just need to believe them… totally… and not doubt.”

It isn’t easy being at the center of a cancer drama, but Mary is living it humbly by God’s grace, which will always be, he says, sufficient to her need.

“God opposes the proud but favors the humble.So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” (James 4:6-8)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For God to increase her faith when she feels weak or fearful
  2. For his timely prompting of Bible verses she’s tucked away in her heart, whenever she’s discouraged
  3. For childlike belief in God’s promises without a trace of doubt

Broken

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A week ago I blogged about the difference between believing in God and believing God. (An Important Preposition) Within hours of hearing the words “pancreatic cancer,” Mary had held up her blue cord bracelet and repeated the truth she believed with all her heart:”I’m believing God!”

Blue embroidery threadThe night we tied those cords around our wrists last fall, Mary said, “I couldn’t find blue ribbon, but I did find blue embroidery thread. I hope it lasts through our 10 week study.”

Our study is on hold these days, and though the embroidery thread has held up, it’s gotten thinner and thinner. A few days ago, Mary called and said, “My blue cord just broke.”

Her daughter Marta retied what little was left, but the next day that, too, came apart. We talked about the tightly-tied bond Mary has with her Lord and that her blue “bracelet” was nothing but a representation of the real thing. Her faith hasn’t wavered, and she still believes God.

The Lord doesn’t want us to put our faith in things that can break or be taken away, whether it’s a bracelet, a job, a bank account, a possession, or a person. That’s why his Word repeatedly emphasizes that he is the only everlasting, unshakeable, immoveable, permanent “possession”.

But the age-old problem of believing without seeing repeatedly plagues us, especially during times of crisis. God knew that would be a stumbling block for us, so he did something about it.

He sent Jesus.

Scripture tells us Jesus is the visible representation of an invisible God, and by reading the Bible (especially the 4 Gospels), we see who he is, how he lived, and what he said during his time on earth. We’re shown everything from his babyhood through his death (and resurrection) at age 33. We’re given the details of what his life was like before he was born and are even told about his 9 months inside the Virgin Mary’s womb. God knew we needed to “see”, and he showed us.

The bottom line is that as we get to know Jesus, we are getting to know God. And when we believe Jesus, we are believing God.

Mary isn’t worried that her blue cord is no longer prompting her to remember that she believes God. Her confidence was never in that 6 inches of blue embroidery thread but has always been in the God she couldn’t see, and she’s still believing him.

Mary's broken braceletBy the way, she still has her wispy bit of faded blue thread. She saved it for some special purpose down the road, which she knows the Lord will show her when the time is right. And maybe it will serve as a helpful visual for someone who is still on their way to believing God.

“Christ is the visible image of the invisible God… He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see… God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ” (Colossians 1:15,16,19)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For God’s comfort of Bervin and her children
  2. For successful physical fortification before surgery
  3. For the surgeon, Dr. Truty