Family Relationships

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A while ago a good friend from the Chicago suburbs drove the 110 miles between us to spend the day with me. Maria and I used to pray together weekly before our family moved to Michigan, and we know each other well. After all those years of praying over family members, we know each others families pretty well, too.

Family b-daysWhen Maria came, she brought a unique gift: a wall hanging representing the importance of family. Somehow she researched all the birth dates of my children and grandchildren, and then hand-made a beautiful work of art that included every name and the day they were born.

I hung this masterpiece near our dining table where it has frequently been scrutinized and also has stimulated many a conversation. And just two weeks ago I had the joy of hooking a brand new circle onto the January line with baby Isaac’s name and date on it.

FAMILYOnly God knows which row(s) will be lengthened by how many additional circles in our family’s future. Maybe he’ll decide to hang circles from our “blank” birthday months (March, November, December). But it’s possible Maria’s display is complete just the way it is. None of us can predict.

 

When I look at this work of art, I’m impacted by the importance of those circles. Except for Jack the dog (who’s there too), each paper disk represents a human soul that will live throughout eternity. And each one of them has to decide what they want to live for and what, if anything, is worth dying for. Each name has to settle on whether or not they believe in God and then determine which of the many gods available for worship these days is the real One.

But just like those small circles are separated from one another, each individual is seen and known separately by God. He has special plans for every name on the wall and a desire to shower each one with blessings. He has also prepared a few difficult challenges for each name.

God chose that particular group of people to be in the Nyman family, and he wants all of us to relate to one another lovingly. Though we don’t always do that, he wants us to work at getting along, looking out for each other, and sharing what we have with whomever is in need. God wants the Nyman family (and every other earthly family) to be models of his spiritual family in these same ways. Earthly families are to be a mini-version of the Great Family of God, relating to one another with sacrificial attitudes and tough, unshakeable love.

Gettin' alongOf course no family can act that way all the time, but we can do it some of the time, and when we do, our relationships will strengthen and our joys abound. That goes for earthly families like the one on my wall, and for God’s much bigger family, too.

I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name.” (Ephesians 3:14-15)

Lifelong Learner

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No one would dispute that one-year-olds learn fast. In January, I left home for just 2 weeks, and when I returned, Emerald had learned all kinds of new things. Though she’d been good at giving slobbery kisses when I left, by the time I got back she’d learned how to pucker up and lean in with a tender “mmmmm,” inviting the kiss-ee to come closer. She’d also learned to take the caps off marking pens and write on herself, and to pull things off table edges.

Self-sprayingThough I tried to keep careful track of her that first babysitting gig after coming home, she surprised me anyway. A water bottle I use while ironing had found its way into her lap, and she’d learned to spray it. I found her dousing herself with one squirt after another, accompanied by a little gasp each time the cold water hit her, followed by a giggle.

Squirt, gasp, giggle. Squirt, gasp, giggle.

When she saw me, she grinned as if to say, “Look what I learned!” Her face was dripping and her shirt soaked, but that didn’t suppress her joy over learning something new. Later that same day I was making my bed, tucking in the edges. Emerald watched and immediately imitated my hand motions with her pudgy fingers.

Although babies never lose their zeal for learning, somewhere along the way the rest of us do. Our perspective is no longer, “I can do this!” but more like, “I hope I can figure it out.”

In the cornerMaybe our cerebral cortexes have no more free space to make new rivulets. Or maybe we’re just tired. But the truth is, we absolutely must keep learning. If we opt out, we’re on our way to watching life from a chair in the corner.

There is some good news, though. God wired us to be capable of learning throughout our lives and encourages us to do and be everything he’s planned for us. As the Great Facilitator, he can take any daunting task and open our understanding to it as we ask him for help. And if we continue to show a willingness to learn, he’ll continue to assist, eventually smiling along with us when we “get it.”

In my prayer group this week (all of us in our 60’s), we agreed that the more we learn, the more we see is left to learn. To say it the opposite way, if we don’t try, we feel we aren’t missing much. But when we discover there’s always much more to learn, God wants us to relate that insight to himself, that there’s never an end to what we can learn of him, either. No matter how much know, there will always be more.

???????????????????????????????As for Emerald, she’s done it again. This week she learned to drive!

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.” (Proverbs 1:5)

Exit Strategy

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FootprintsOur dog Jack has always been a winter dog, and despite him being the doggy-equivalent of 80 years, he can still romp like a puppy when he’s out in the snow. Today while walking him, it struck me that I’ve memorized the various boot-prints of neighbors who are also out dog-walking each day. (Even when it’s fifteen-below, dogs must be walked!)

These days snow boots have all manner of “grid” on their soles, and though I don’t know which person’s prints belong to who, I do see the same patterns in the snow day after day. There are the feet with circle-prints, others with squiggly lines , some with tire-like treads, and one with a sunburst pattern. Although I rarely run into another person while walking Jack, the variety of footprints in the snow testifies to each one having been there.

All of us leave evidence in places we’ve been. Sometimes it’s negative, like when a child fixes a snack and walks away from a messy kitchen. Other times it’s positive, like when my sister hides a Scripture rock for me to find later. Even though she’s long gone when I discover it, her thoughtful persona lingers.

When we look at the verses in Scripture that describe situations where Jesus had just been, we see an interesting consistency.

Praises...He left people jumping up and down with joy, or shouting praises to God, or standing speechless and overcome with wonder. He left changed lives in his wake.

How often do I enter a home or other gathering place with any thought to my exit strategy? Since I often have regrets after leaving (should have, would have, could have), apparently not often enough. But it’s not only that.

On those rare occasions when I have left something positive in my wake, it hasn’t always been with sterling motives. Was my goal to remind them of how wonderful I was while I was with them? Or have I tried to leave behind an awareness that a Christ-follower was there? Honestly, my answers aren’t usually good ones.

But Jesus is a perfect tutor on this. He repeatedly modeled the right way to do it, often saying that everything he did was meant to leave behind an accurate impression of God his Father and of his relationship with him as a Son. In Hebrews we read, “The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being.” (1:3) A radiance is a glow that lingers, and Jesus passionately wanted us to remember him as the portrayal of a God who desires a personal love relationship with us.

None of us can do as well as Jesus, but wisdom should keep us working at it. Does this mean my pockets should be stuffed with Scripture rocks?

Scripture RockActually, that’s not a bad idea.

Jesus said, “I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father.” (John 14:31)