Bountiful Burdens

???????????????????????????????Here in southwest Michigan we received another exquisite blanket of snow last night, 6” more. We (along with our next-door-neighbor Bob) have cleared the driveway so many times it’s become a calisthenic event to “throw” shovels-full to the top of the piles.

Today while navigating the now-narrow roads of my subdivision, I noticed the evergreens were so heavily laden with snow their branches could no longer hold up. Some of them had been pressed all the way to the ground.

 

Heavy loadMany of us have felt much like those evergreens, bent beneath our loads. On any given morning it might even be difficult to roll out of bed and stand up, if we’re faced with a day overloaded by burdens. And when life’s storms come in multiples as snowstorms often do, each new layer feels like another 6” of heavy.

God tells us it’s not supposed to be that way, not when we’re partnered with him. He actually describes burdens and “easy” and “lightweight”, though he’s referring to his, not ours. (Matthew 11:30) He wants to convince us to roll our burdens over to him, and in the process, the things that formerly weighed us down will disappear. Then those same weights become feather-light to him.

Our only problem is the roll-over. Just like it’s strenuous to throw a shovel of heavy snow on a high pile, “tossing” our troubles to the Lord is hard work, too. They tend to stick to us like snow sticks to mittens on a good-packing day. We might try to release them, but just when we think we’ve done it and are waiting for that feeling of sweet relief, we discover we’ve taken them back.

The reason for handing them back and forth to God is that we aren’t completely sure he’s going to deal with them as effectively as we would. And surrendering our control goes against our natural, prideful instincts. Incredibly we’d rather stagger around under a heavy weight than let him take over.

But once we truly believe he’s better at burden-bearing than we are, the hand-off becomes easier and we can enjoy a freedom of movement like we’ve never known.

But lest we get flippant in our new, weightless reality, God gives us an additional reason why he’s eager to shoulder our burdens: so we can lift the loads of others. In Galatians he says, “Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (6:2) As always, he is our example. He unburdens us so we can unburden others.

???????????????????????????????Today as I study the small evergreens in my yard, it seems doubtful they’ll ever recover. Not only have they been weighed down by winter’s storms, they’ve had additional shovel-fulls piled on top of them. But these old bushes have been through difficult winters many times before, and when spring finally arrives, I’m going to hope they’ll be standing tall.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)

 

What’d ya say?

Picking up a smidgenFifteen month old Emerald learns a new word virtually every day now, and yesterday she came up with this one: “Gar!”

At first I didn’t know what she meant. When she said it, she was on the kitchen floor focusing on something very small, which turned out to be a rice-sized tidbit of paper. Using her petite thumb and finger, she managed to pick it up and held it high for me to see. “Gar!” she said, smiling broadly.

IMG_4435Though I wished I’d had an interpreter, she let me know what it meant by acting it out. Crawling to the cabinet door under the kitchen sink, she opened it, stood up, and dropped her smidgen of paper into the trash basket there. “Gar!” she said, and of course she meant “garbage.”

It’s an important benefit to any relationship if we can fully understand what a loved one is trying to tell us. But what happens if the words we hear aren’t an accurate representation of the opinion or feelings of the speaker?

Gary Chapman says part of why we misinterpret each other (which can cause arguments, hurt feelings, or confusion) is that different people “speak” in a variety of languages. He calls them love languages, and we hear best when the one communicating with us is “saying” it in our language.

Sadly, when someone tries to explain to us what they’re feeling, we often receive it differently than how they mean it, or at least differently than they think they’re saying it. When that happens, our conversation is headed for trouble.

Learning to be a good listener is tricky. First we have to want to be one, and a prerequisite for that is to willingly set aside our preconceived opinions about the subject at hand, while the other person is talking. This can be a monumental challenge and requires lots of practice. (Take it from someone who has frequently flunked this part.) If, however, we can accomplish that and then listen carefully, our original opinion about the person or their message will probably have changed, and improved communication will be the result.

Working hard to develop good listening and speaking skills has another benefit, too. It trains us to become better at our back-and-forth with God. Thankfully he always knows the perfect language to get through to us, and no matter how inept we might be at our conversational efforts in return, he interprets our heart’s intentions correctly 100% of the time.

IMG_4436Practice may not make us perfect, but it’ll get us closer. As for Emerald, later that same afternoon I followed her back into the kitchen where she was doing some practicing of her own. “Gar!” she said again. And I rounded the corner just in time to see her stuffing a clean dish towel into the trash. Smiling up at me she said, “Gar!”

Maybe the two of us still have room for some conversational improvement.

“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” (Proverbs 18:13)

Guard Duty

???????????????????????????????During recent babysitting gigs with Emerald, she’s refused to take a nap. Despite my following the same pre-bed routine as her mommy, she clings to me, refusing her bottle and wailing about going into her crib. Though I’ve let her “cry it out” for as long as 25 minutes, she just doesn’t settle.

So today I decided to do things differently. After putting her in the crib amidst loud objections on her part, I put myself on the twin bed nearby and said, “Shhh…. Grandma’s going night-night. Shhh….”

When that didn’t work, I pulled her crib right next to me, reaching through the bars to pat her back. “Night night, Emerald. Grandma’s going to sleep, too. Shhhh….” But nap time was still a no-go.

Most grandmas are wimps when it comes to being strict with a grandbaby, and I’m no exception. I pulled her out of her crib and said, “Let’s go night-night in grandma’s bed then, ok?”

Her crying stopped, and she quickly cuddled up to me, pointing out (and poking into) my eyes, nose, mouth, teeth, ears, and hair. It wasn’t long, though, before she put her head on the bed and was fast asleep. While I worked to gently extract her fingers from my tangled hair (without waking her), I watched her sleep, a spiritual experience if there ever was one.

???????????????????????????????But then it was time to inch off the bed and leave the room, but how could I be sure she wouldn’t fall off as she slept?

I spent the next 20 minutes building a fence around her, tip-toeing in with a row of dining room chairs, followed by more chairs to make sure the first chairs wouldn’t slide. I put pillows between her head and the stucco walls and then stood back to assess my work. It still wasn’t good enough. The only sure thing was to stay in the room, watching over her until she woke up.

???????????????????????????????It occurred to me that while I was watching over Emerald, God was watching over both of us, not just during that 2 hour nap time but always. He remains at his “guard post” 24/7, not so much to prevent adversity or keep us 100% safe but to maintain a level of control over what happens to us. He may allow trouble to come but will only let it go “so far.”

This afternoon while on guard duty, I watched Emerald move in her sleep, rolling onto different sides, fumbling for her pacifier with eyes closed, stretching out on her back. She rolled near the edge of the bed once, but I was right there, in case she fell. Yet she had no awareness of the security I was providing by being in the room.

Sometimes we’re unaware of God’s protection, too, despite him having told us he’s always watching. But on those days when we believe he’s there, it makes all the difference in the world.

“The ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He watches all his paths.” (Proverbs 5:21)