A Shiny Example

Posted on by

Havin' funIf Mom was still living, we’d be celebrating her 101st birthday about now. She didn’t make it that far, but packed a-lotta-livin’ into the 92 years she had. Her #1 life-interest was Jesus Christ, but her #2 was definitely people (and a chimp or two). My siblings and I still hear reports of her influence.

Recently, for example, I received an email from a summer neighbor, Karen, who took time to write out her youthful impressions of Mom:

I remember liking to come over to your cottage, knowing we were always welcome to drop in. Your mom made time to sit and play games with us, never minding if we got sand on her floor. And we could always use your big inner-tubes at the beach, even if you weren’t going.

Mom and more kidsYour mom took us to the State Park where we climbed [the giant dune] “Pike’s Peak” together and ran down the back side of it. On another occasion she let us “help” paint your cottage. Once I fell and was knocked unconscious, but your mom took care of me.

What I remember most, though, is that your home seemed filled with love, acceptance, fun, and joy. Your mom was the best example of God’s love shining through someone that I’ve ever known. His joy radiated from her, and I was blessed to have her in my life.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

I’m still trying to learn from Mom’s example, and it’s interesting that the many “kids” in the multiple generations she impacted always mention the same things: that she had time for them and accepted them as they were.

As parents, we spend 20 years molding and shaping our children, trying to grow them into responsible adults. Sometimes we lift up standards that are so high they’re impossible to meet, and then we push, push, push, forgetting to take time to have fun with them and joyfully accept who they are. And what about taking time to do the same with other people’s children?

Shortly after I heard about Mom from Karen, I also heard from one of her other “kids”. Judi wrote:

Your mother was an angel on earth. Her unique attributes continue to be present through the legacy she passed on to her many “children”. What a privilege to have been one of them.

Between those lines I hear God’s opinion shining through. Mom pleased him by passing along the blessing she had received herself, giving God the credit for everything. She didn’t just share her games, her inner-tubes, and her time. She also shared the faith that meant more to her than anything else. But not by preaching it.

Children “caught it” not from listening to her recite Bible passages or teach Sunday school but by seeing the Lord shine out of her (as Karen wrote) by way of “love, acceptance, fun, and joy.”

Happy Birthday!Happy 101st, Mom!

“Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)

Sticking With It

Posted on by

Moody Christmaas concertEvery December I have bulldog determination to do one thing: attend a Christmas concert with a big choir and a full orchestra. Thankfully opportunities abound, and last weekend I was privileged to be at Moody Church to hear an extravaganza of glorious music, everything from “Let it snow!” to the “Hallelujah Chorus.”

We found seats in the balcony, front row, looking straight down on the violin section of the orchestra. Watching those musicians play with vigor made me wish I hadn’t given up violin lessons when I was 13.

ViolinsWhat joy it would have been to play in such a group, but my orchestra experience will always be limited to the one I had in junior high school. Though I never made it to the first violin section, playing in that assortment of “newbies” was still a special pleasure.

Sadly, I stuck with violin lessons for only 2 years and didn’t even learn how to wiggle my fingers into a vibrato. My teacher was as irritated with me as I was with him, probably because every week I pestered him to let me do the wiggling thing. “You’ve got to get better at the basics first!” he’d say, completely exasperated with me.

When it was time to begin my 3rd year of lessons, I told Mom I didn’t want to continue. After too many arguments over skimpy practice time, she was happy to comply, and she sold my violin within a week, a sure sign she’d been as frustrated as I had.

Most adults have a music-regret to match mine. After we begged our parents for weeks, they finally gave in and generously provided funds, transportation, time, and an instrument. We began with gusto, but not long into the commitment, enthusiasm was replaced with practice battles. Eventually the option to quit became everybody’s first choice, though parents didn’t let us give up without a lecture and one last jab: “You’ll be sorry!”

Listening to those violinists at Moody Church, I knew they’d been right.

But middle school kids are still learning accountability for their actions and make lots of mistakes. We older folk know by harsh experience that quitting when commitments get tough becomes an unattractive character trait we’d rather not have. No one wants to be known as a quitter. It’s better to be someone who does what she says she’s going to do.

Violin ornament.God is the ultimate pro at this, doing everything he says he will, and since he’s God, that covers millions of pronouncements, promises, and predictions. If we want to be more like him, we need to practice keeping our commitments. When we feel like quitting, we should ask him for fresh perseverance, because he’s promised to help us cope.

And he keeps all of his promises.

“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Asking God

Posted on by

This or thatIn recent years many of us have learned to ask questions in a new way. It goes something like this: “Would you like such-and-such, or no?” We don’t simply say, “Would you like such-and-such?” We add “…or no” to force the questionee to come forth with a neat and tidy answer. Subconsciously we want them to commit to yes or no, because the in-betweens can get complicated.

I’m ashamed to say sometimes I do the same thing to God. “Lord, do you want me to do this certain thing, or no?” I want a clear-cut response, because I don’t do well with “maybe” or “wait a while” or “we’ll see.”

The other day I received an email from our oldest son, Nelson, who is currently making his way from Russia’s Siberia to our home in Michigan. In the email he described an important decision he needed to make and as always, was asking God what to do. To quote Nelson:

So my prayer was, “Is it this or is it that?” And the answer was, “Neither.”

And therein lies the trouble with giving God an “either-or” choice. Because none of us know what’s about to happen, the best we can do is guess at a couple of possibilities. Asking God to make it “this-or-that” is like asking a child to draw a rainbow with black and white crayons.

God’s answers to prayer come in all colors, and he won’t be boxed in by our desire for black-and-white answers. Maybe the best way to ask for his opinion is with open-ended questions:

  • What should I do about this dilemma, Lord?
  • How do you want me to view these unexpected circumstances?
  • Which of your promises should I cling to during this crisis?

Answers structured by God will always outshine those we put to him requesting “this-or-that.” Nelson’s comment about God answering him with “neither” turned out to be the beginning of an important conversation between the two of them that produced a deeper faith-walk in Nelson. Had God answered with one of the choices of his “this-or-that” prayer, the whole faith-strengthening conversation that was initiated with God’s “neither” would not have occurred.

Our questionsPraying open-ended-ly teaches us to separate from our own limited ideas and encourages us to risk trusting the One who has the best answers to all our question marks. This means we have to approach him without suggesting how he should solve our problems.

As part of that process, he might come back at us with a few questions of his own, questions that will direct us to his answers of our original questions.

Our God is the God of the unexpected. Or, to put it more positively, the God of surprises. And if we insist his answers be “this-or-that,” we may not get any answers at all.

“Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good; haste makes mistakes.” (Proverbs 19:2)