Frozen Solid

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Last weekend we reached the middle of December, and in southwest Michigan we’ve had 3 snowstorms with colder-than-usual temps. It’s the kind of weather that makes us start the car 10 minutes ahead of departure to let it warm up.

A frozen beachAt the beach, ice-dunes have begun to build, and the creek has morphed into a skating pond. None of us were ready for winter’s fast arrival, and we hadn’t even brought home all of our beach chairs yet.

Frozen solidYesterday, while waiting at the bank drive-through, I saw a perfect picture of winter’s speedy onset. A gutter drain had frozen solid right in the middle of emptying itself.

Sometimes “cold experiences” come to us just as fast and unexpectedly. We might get the cold shoulder from someone we were close to, unable to figure out how we got in the relationship deep-freeze. We don’t know what to do next and feel blocked from reconciling, frozen in our tracks, so to speak.

“The relationship has gone cold,” we say, as we experience icy rejection.

Sunday morning at church a friend in her 80’s was describing how she struggles with the cold, especially with ice beneath her unsteady feet. Suddenly she straightened herself and said, “Well, spring can’t be far behind.” Chuckling, she walked away, leaving me with a furrowed brow.

“That’s crazy talk,” I thought. “It’s not even officially winter yet!”

What she meant, though, was that in the midst of the freezing-cold weather, she knew for sure her future was going to include warmth and ice-free walking.

The same can apply to our cold relationships. Though circumstances seem frozen and we think they’ll never thaw, God has a few suggestions for warming things up. He says, “First of all, pull Me into the mix. Just as I insist every harsh winter eventually give way to spring, I know how to thaw cold relationships and can teach you how.”

He doesn’t say it’s easy, but here are 10 of his surefire ways to melt icy situations and bring relationship-springs:

  • Talk in a soft voice. (Proverbs 15:1)
  • Speak evil of no one. (Titus 3:2)
  • Never avenge yourselves, but leave that to God. (Romans 12:19)
  • Never be irritable or resentful. (1 Corinthians 13:5)
  • With a tender heart, forgive each other. (Ephesians 4:32)
  • Show perfect courtesy toward all people. (Titus 3:2)
  • Never be arrogant or rude. (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
  • Be open to reason, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)
  • Never repay evil for evil. (Romans 12:17)
  • Don’t insist on your own way. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Frozen creekIf we follow these biblical guidelines, even those relationships that are frozen solid will experience a warming trend soon.

”Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’  Then you will shine…. like stars in the sky.” (Philippians 2:14-15)

To the Extreme

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Extreme TVThe latest TV craze is focused on the word “extreme”: Extreme Sports, Extreme Makeover, Extreme Weight Loss, Extreme Cheapskates, Extreme Games, Extreme Chef, and so on. The word “extreme” implies intensity, excess, even severity. People are no longer happy just watching “normal” or “regular.” Abnormal is better, even if it means people might be harmed or humiliated.

This new trend, however, has nothing on young children. They’ve always done everything to the extreme.

TissueTPTake Emerald, for example. Pulling one tissue out of the box isn’t enough. She wants them all, and not just to set them aside, but to crumple them. And toilet paper? If rolling out a little is fun, doing the whole roll is even better.

But children aren’t the only ones. We adults often forsake the middle ground for the extremes, too. As a first year elementary school teacher in Chicago, I remember giving up healthy lunches to eat cookies instead. They partnered well with coffee and satisfied my sweet tooth. But 2 or 3 didn’t satisfy, so I usually ate half a bagful and saw nothing wrong with that. Surely that was extreme.

It’s probable that once we’re settled in at one extreme or the other, we can get comfortable there, which is the reason our culture needs so many Twelve Step programs. We become so used to living in max-mode that we need help learning how to do it a different way.

So, what is God’s point of view on all this? Is he against living in the extremes?

No. He actually wants an extreme commitment from us, a commitment to worship him, bow down to him, humble ourselves before him, forsake all other gods in favor of him. Since this sounds like too much of a good thing, something we could never accomplish, he gave us a model: his Son Jesus.

When Jesus was asked what motivated him to do the things he did, he said, “The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” (John 5:19) Now that’s extreme. And though we can’t do it to perfection like he did (especially the part about never sinning), if we pursue extreme devotion to him, the result will be a more upright life along with lots of inner peace.

WonderAnd getting back to the way children often take things too far, there is an up side. When it comes to Christmas time, little ones oooh and aaah over every decoration and string of lights. Their mouths drop open and their extreme pleasure comes out in gasps or squeals.

Wouldn’t God be pleased if our amazement over him was just that extreme?

Jesus said, “I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.” (John 5:30)

On the Increase

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Doubting.Everyone struggles with doubt once in a while. In terms of spiritual doubts, I have a hunch God welcomes them, wanting us to ask whatever questions we have. When Jesus’ good friend Thomas doubted him, he didn’t show a shred of disapproval but lovingly went about dispelling his doubts.

My most frequent doubt-struggles happen in two areas: doubts about God, and about myself. I doubt God when he doesn’t come through as I thought he would, and I doubt myself when I’ve stepped out in faith and the promised results aren’t yet evident.

The simplistic answer for both dilemmas is to have greater faith. But how? By watching God come through, and by believing before I see results, the two places I doubt most. Sounds like a classic conundrum.

Scripture has a solution though. It details one more way to increase in faith and dissipate doubt: “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” (Romans 10:17) So, what is faith-building about that? Isn’t it true that every time we read the Bible we’re hearing it?

Hearing the WordOur Nelson spent several of his adult years living in Nashville, Tennessee, and four of his siblings lived with him during different periods of time. The year Klaus was there, he and Nelson decided to act on the above verse from Romans. They began each day with a visit to the local Starbucks where they opened a Bible and read verses out loud with a desire to increase in faith. Reading Scripture aloud became a stepping stone to a better hearing of God’s Word.

In another example, three of our children spent 9 months each in an intensive YWAM Bible study program devoting 70 hours a week to concentrated examination of all 66 books. As they approached each new book, their first assignment was to read the whole thing out loud. This was no small task when it came to complicated Leviticus or lengthy Psalms. But reading aloud was a way to improve on hearing the Word of God, building faith in the process.

As we read silently, words bypass voice and ears and go straight from page to brain. It makes sense, then, that using a voice adds one more layer of impact to the message. Even in my prayer group as we pray verses over people, another woman’s verbalization of a passage, even a very familiar one, causes me to hear it better than if I was just reading it myself. I hear with my mind but also my heart and soul, which puts fresh oomph behind the words.

Doubt and FaithGod’s Word is keenly important to him, which is why he’s protected it through thousands of years. To read it aloud surely pleases him.

And it might also increase my faith.

“Joshua said to the children of Israel, ‘Come here, and hear the words of the Lord your God. By this you shall know that the living God is among you’.” (Joshua 3:9-10)