Dogged Through Life

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I come from a long line of dog-lovers. Both of my folks grew up with dogs and told stories of how difficult it was to eventually say goodbye. Dad liked the trustworthiness of dogs, and Mom saw them as good examples of unconditional love. (She returned the favor by keeping Milk Bones in her purse.)

Toby.Our childhood dog, Toby, lived 16 pampered years with us, but cancer eventually took over. One day while we were all away at college, Mom and Aunt Agnes made the excruciating decision to have Toby put to sleep. It was the kind thing to do, since he was in constant pain. But the minute Mom got home she changed her mind and called the vet. “Don’t do it! I’m coming to get him!”

The vet was one step ahead of her, though. “You’re not the first one to call me back,” he said. “Your Toby is already gone.”

As hard as that was, Mom knew he’d done her a favor. Making that decision once was hard enough. Twice would have been impossible.

She wasn’t dog-lonely for long, however. Through the years, her doggie-desires were abundantly satisfied with lots of grand-dogs, since she and Dad raised a family of dog-lovers, too.

Mom and her 9 grand-dogs

(Montego, Pepper, Gunnar, Wrigley, Sydney, Wilbur, Jack, Strider, Blue)

I think God is pleased when we love the creatures he’s made. That includes dogs, cats, gerbils, canaries, and every other animal people give a name to and care for as family members. Appreciating animals is to appreciate the One who originally gave them to us.

And if that’s true, then valuing the pinnacle of his creation (people) is even more important, more dear to him. We might say, “But animals are easy to love, because they always love you back. People can be downright unlovable. God doesn’t expect us to love that kind.”

Then we read the Bible:“This is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.” (1 John 3:11) God’s instruction has always been (and always will be) to love each other and act accordingly. He doesn’t say, “I know it’s hard to love those who make your life miserable, so just love the ones you ‘click’ with.”

Why do we have to love everybody? He gives a two-part answer: (1) “Love them because I love them,” (John 3:16) and (2) “Love the not-so-good-ones because I love you.” (Romans 5:8)

And there’s one more reason. Scripture tells us no one can see God and live afterwards, but if we consistently show love to others, especially to the unlovables, people will see God-in-us, which is exactly the reason he wants us to do it.

Jackie-boy.So when we’re ready to try loving unconditionally, we know where to go for our first lesson: to our doggie friends, because they model it really well.

“If God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (1 John 4:11-12)

What’s next?

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Leaning on MaryYesterday I blogged about the webinar that took place two weeks ago, an unnerving experience that turned out to be a wonderful opportunity. My sister Mary, who I’ve leaned on since we were little girls, agreed to drive the 90 minute round trip with me… twice. “It’ll be fun,” she said, letting go of whatever else she’d planned to do that day. Her presence was a great stabilizer.

After praying with me in the parking lot before the webinar she said, “I’ll just stay in the car and work on my Bible study while you’re inside. Let me know if you need me.”

As it turned out, I did. Following the webinar, two editors expressed interest in another book possibility. Since Mary and I had begun writing about motherhood 10 years ago, we were able to share those ideas and receive professional editor- input. (Mary remembered far more than I did.) Although we hadn’t studied our files for years, talking to the editors relit our desire to write a book from old mommies to young mommies about what we wish we’d known at the beginning.

On the way home we marveled at how God moves his light along life’s path one next-step at a time, but not till he’s ready. Nothing may come of this book idea that’s been lying dormant for 7 years, but suddenly he has lit one step and asked us to walk into it.

A feastOn the way home we pulled into McDonald’s and decided to eat outdoors, since the weather was picture-perfect. We found a sunny curb out back and continued talking about the step we’d just taken. Before long a seagull appeared, begging for a French fry.

 

Wounded birdie As we tossed him one, he hopped closer, and we noticed he was holding up one leg. His other foot was discolored and withered.

It was an interesting parallel to our conversation. The bird might have said, “I see those French fries but can’t walk over there.”

Mary and I could say, “There are a million books on motherhood, most written by experts. Who wants to hear from two regular moms? Let’s not take that step.” We might have said that, even while facing a lighted path.

But the bird hopped on over, and we fed him well. Mary and I have decided to hop forward, too. Maybe the book won’t come to fruition, but whenever God lights the way, it’s a good idea to step into it.

The lighted pathNone of us has the luxury of seeing all the way down a path that’s mostly in the shadows. But when God illuminates even a small part of it, we can step (or hop) forward with confidence. And that’s especially true when most of the path is still in the dark.

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known; along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them.” (Isaiah 42:16)

The Webinar

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Once in a while each of us faces a task with apprehension. For me, it was the webinar I was asked to participate in on October 9. (Growing Pains)

Having no reference point for this newfangled communication tool, I was nervous about how that day would go and wasn’t sure how to prepare. The plan was for 3 of us to have a one hour discussion about grief: Tim, the moderator, Dave, who’d lost his daughter in an accident, and me, having lost my husband. We’d also be answering questions that came in live, online.

I was reluctant to say yes but sensed God wanted me to, so I did.

A few days beforehand, our moderator set up a video conference call on Google+: Tim, Dave, Dennis (the control room guy), and me. Getting set up for this cyber-meeting was a challenge I couldn’t meet. Despite help from webinar techs over the phone, I failed at my end, the only participant not visually present.

Speaker buttonInstead I put them on speaker-phone, and Tim did the same, allowing me to be present…. sort-of. We spent an hour getting acquainted, troubleshooting, and following Tim’s Power Point outline as best we could from different locations. When we finished, Tim gave us instructions on clothing that would please the cameras: “no black, no white, no red, no stripes, no checks, no colors lighter than your skin tone.”

To the WebinarI’d already spent the better part of 3 days shopping and had bought several outfits, planning to return the ones I didn’t wear. One ensemble was black, another white, another red, and the last checked, all on the no-no list. In the end, they approved a blue silk vest and white shirt. I appreciated their cheerful tolerance of my clothing violation.

Now that the webinar is history, I look back and see how focused I was on doing well for all the wrong reasons. Worrying about my wardrobe or clearing my throat during filming or spilling my water at the table had loomed larger than the over-arching purpose of the project, which was to encourage people journeying through grief.

Such self-focus could have sabotaged my part, and I’m thankful for God using multiple prayer times that day to tug me back to center when I was leaning sideways. After all, the webinar opportunity came from my book, which came from my blog, which came from God. All three belong to him, and if they accomplish anything good at all, it’s only because he’s behind it.

The webinar

(webinar, audio only)

To think the failure or success of that webinar depended in any way on my effort was to own something that never belonged to me. And there’s a beautiful flip side to knowing all the results belong to God:

Whatever he does prospers.

“If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 4:11)