Is younger better?

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Recently Mary and I talked about what it’s like to be in our late 60’s. Our bodies don’t work as well as they used to, and we’ve become acquainted with the medical world in new ways. When we were young it would have been logical to think ahead to the ages we are now and predict that this is the way it would be, but we avoided that long-distance look.

All of us have a tendency to think that the way things are today is how they’ll be tomorrow. Day-to-day it seems to be true, but decade-to-decade, age-related changes show themselves.

Robert Browning.Robert Browning wrote a poem with an oft-quoted opening that put a positive spin on growing old:

“Grow old along with me!                     The best is yet to be.”

As a young woman I thought this was a charming statement but also that it stretched the truth. How could old age be “the best?” Maybe Browning meant that if his loved one and he remained together through the geriatric years, life would be good, or at least as good as it could be with age-related troubles.Today, just for fun, I looked up Browning’s poem, and it turns out those first two lines are actually the “bottom line” idea of a 32 stanza piece, but it has very little to do with how good life is going to be in old age. He zeros in on some of the losses of advanced years, but also points out the foolishness of thinking youthful years are automatically the best ones, just because bodies are at their best.

Instead, Browning’s poem is all about the soul.

He beautifully points out that both young and old ought to put less emphasis on the physical and more on the spiritual, telling us to take “hold of God who gives…” He says that a “body at its best” can’t do anything to propel the soul into a satisfying eternity.

That second line in his poem (“the best is yet to be”) refers not to good experiences with a true love on earth but to companionship with God in life after death:

Robert BrowningGrow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith “A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

Browning is right. Spending too much time dwelling on physical losses only frustrates us. It’s better to focus on soul-gains, not just the glorious eternity awaiting us (whether we die old or young), but on the spiritual gains we can make by reading and thinking about Scripture, learning how to walk in God’s ways, and enduring struggles with patience and joy.

So the next time Mary and I talk about feeling old, we’ll try to remember, “A whole God planned; youth shows but half.”

“Young men and young women, old men and children. Let them all praise the name of the Lord.” (Psalm 148:12-13)

Poison and Panic

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Spider pic 2Today while I was gone, Louisa, Birgitta, and Emerald endured a crisis. The baby had just woken up from her nap, and Birgitta was on the way to her favorite chair when she spotted a big spider on the upholstery. Screaming in panic, she tore up the stairs and hollered for Louisa to come and help.

When Louisa got a look at the large, menacing spider, she began screaming, too, which prompted Emerald to start in. They knew it would be difficult to kill such a big spider, so Louisa ran for a plastic container, a stiff card, and a book to put between her fingers and the spider.

IMG_3727She caged it in the container, but not before Birgitta clicked a picture. Then she slid the card beneath the spider as it darted about inside, and put the book beneath the card for safety. They carried it outside, walked a block down the street, and let it go.

Back home on the computer they became alarmed when “their” spider matched Google pictures of a brown recluse, a species with a killer venom. The brown recluse has been nicknamed “fiddleback” or “brown fiddler” because of its violin-shaped markings, which this spider did have. Though the brown recluse isn’t aggressive, if it’s pressed (as between clothing and skin), it’ll bite.

Researching further, the girls gasped over computer images of infected bites when spider venom had eaten away flesh, leaving freaky-looking, severe skin damage. People can actually die as a result.

When I arrived home after attending my prayer group, they were still upset and quickly spilled out their tale of horror. “I’ll never sit in that chair again!” Birgitta said.

Later I did a bit of research on my own, envisioning little Emerald vs. big spider. I learned that the brown recluse isn’t aggressive but fears people, preferring to scamper away rather than interact. In our area they’re extremely rare, and a sighting of one doesn’t necessarily mean others are nearby. As Nelson often says, “It’s always too soon to panic.”

I think God would agree with that. He doesn’t want us to panic over a spider or anything else. Second Timothy 1:7 reminds us he “hasn’t given us a spirit of fear.”

So when we’re panicky about something, we can be sure those feelings haven’t come from God but are from the devil, who is a champion at getting us all riled up. Most of the time there’s a way around fearful circumstances that doesn’t include panic, and if we keep a level head, God will show us what to do.

I’m proud of my girls for tackling their spider-crisis bravely, even while risking a bite. But maybe, if there’s ever a next time, they’ll be able to handle it without quite so much screaming.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)

Really? No rules?

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No rulesMy sister, brother and I grew up in a house with very few rules. Actually, I can’t think of even one. Our mom operated at the extreme end of lenient, and of course we kids were happy about that.

Recently I wondered if my advanced age might not have tilted the truth on that, so I asked Mary. Since she’s 2 years ahead of me, her childhood memories are inevitably more accurate than mine.

“No,” she said, thinking back. “I can’t remember a single rule.”

Not having any rules didn’t mean Mom wasn’t teaching us. For example, I recall one moment when I was 11 and had developed the sloppy bathroom habit of stuffing wet towels into the towel bar in a ball-like wad. Then one day Mom walked in just as I was stuffing.

Rather than chide me, she took the towel out of the bar, shook it out, and said, “I’ll be interested to visit your house some day when you’re an adult. All your bathroom towels will be wet balls.”

Neatly hung towelShe then carefully looped the towel over the bar, running her hand the length of it for extra smoothness. I stood there studying her work and realized for the first time why my towels had always been damp. But something else more important happened, too. I felt badly about stuffing my towel, because I’d been a disappointment to Mom.

Many years later I asked her, “Why didn’t you ever give us a list of rules or punish us when we did things badly?”

Her answer revealed her parenting philosophy. “Once you knew the right thing to do, I knew you’d do it…. because you loved me.”

Hmmmm.

I’ve often felt that same way toward God, wanting to please him with my daughter-behavior. When I fail, it impacts me greatly because of how much I love him. It’s interesting that after God set out 10 commands for his children to obey, Jesus condensed them into 2, both based on acting in love in response to his love for us. Maybe Mom had something there.

Nate and I raised our children with rules, insisting on regular chores, compulsory church attendance, spankings for defiant behavior, etc. Maybe we had to do it because there were so many of them. Or maybe the difference between our rules and Mom’s lack of them was that she was a kid-at-heart and we weren’t.

In any case, years after my towel-hanging exchange with Mom, I had acquired some bathroom towel bars of my own. And when she came to visit Nate and I, she always found neatly hung towels drying nicely.

Towels hooksBut then 7 children joined us, requiring endless towel-hanging exchanges with them that were no fun to have. So we finally eliminated the whole problem. We took down the towel bars and hung 7 hooks.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind and….  Love your neighbor as yourself….  The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)