Life has surprised Nelson and Ann Sophie with many negatives (like vomiting during the night) but also positives (the working out of a house purchase). But the Lord is at work within every circumstance, doing things (as Nelson writes) that are beyond what we can ask or imagine.  

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August 19, 2023

Last night was the night from hell. I woke up with bad neck pain and tried to stay awake long enough for the Advil to kick in. I puked my guts out, finally going back to bed at 5:30 am.

This cancer is the weirdest thing. The sicknesses can take all sorts of forms. Each day has its own challenges. One day at a time.

We got the loan for the house, as long as we can prove income from the renters and have the other units verified with the city, which I think we can do.

It sounds like a God-story in the making—first going to look at another house but finding this one instead, and then not qualifying for a loan. But this one has 3 rental units. With that income, we can get a loan for what we need, after we put down what we already have.

God does things in the weirdest and coolest way. It’s right in line with his “more than all you can ask or imagine” character quality. There’s no way I could have predicted any of this, from the cancer, to being in Rochester, to buying a house here…. any of it.

I’m thankful for the pills the doc gave me yesterday to reduce the swelling in my feet, back and stomach. I’m thankful to have the right catheter out of my lung, too. I’m thankful that the owner of the house called me back. We can see it again this afternoon.

I’m thankful that we can go up to Luke’s place today and hang for tonight and tomorrow. And I’m thankful for Ralph and Astrid taking the baby boy from time to time.

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“Is any one among you suffering? Let him pray…” (James 5:13)

Nelson feels the fragility of life and in this journal entry he posts his thoughts—which lead him to make another gratitude list.

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August 18, 2022

My neck is starting to feel a little bit better. I have had this pain or crick for over a week now and normally, I wouldn’t mention it but everything could be a potential infection and end me up at the ER on a Saturday night and eventually admitted to the hospital, which is the last place I want to be.

That being said, I’m thankful when something works itself out without the hospital visit. This whole thing gives me lots to be thankful for. I realize the potential for pain and hardship where I didn’t before. I see the pitfalls where before I saw nothing. I look at life totally different now and see anything as a potential pitfall for a human being to fall into.

We are so blessed with our good health and should never take it for granted. We are fragile little people standing at the end of death and are in life for only a precarious, little while. Nothing of our own strength keeps or gets us to safety.

God alone keeps us healthy and alive, and we would do well to spend time in the place of gratitude instead of just marching along like nothing will ever change. There are all these systems in the body that work together, and it’s a wonder they do. Just the slightest part being off sends the whole thing into a chain reaction where nothing works right.

I have learned that over and over, the long, hard, slow way. We are fragile at best. Our lives are short and we are lucky for the health we have when we have it. Thank you, Lord, that I’m feeling better today. I am aware that it might not last and that to have just a little bit of health is a lot.

Thank you that there might be some hope to get the loan for the triplex we are wanting to buy. Thank you for doing miracles like that, for giving us the money we have. Thank you for the people who have given and who pray. There are so many.

Thank you for the protein shakes from Lindsay and the food Annso makes. She is the best gift you have ever given me on this planet. I can’t thank you enough for the woman she is, for her endless service, her intelligence and cool demeanor–so the opposite of the way I am wired, high-strung and riddled with anxiety.

Thank you that opposites attract but that we are still the same to some extent.

Thank you for arranging to get the catheter out today from into my right lung. One more step to being free of all these medical gadgets.

Thank you that full recovery is possible. Thank you for your leading and guiding. Thank you for Rochester and the home it is becoming for us. I pray for your leading as we settle more and more here.

Thank you for the baby boy and his health and happy disposition. We are so fortunate to have him and for the miracle he is.

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“Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him.” (1 Corinthians 7:17)

In today’s journal entry Nelson is trying to work out the purchase of a house with three apartments in it, asking God to do it by way of a miracle. He’s also been challenged to give up something he can’t let go of.

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August 17, 2022

I pray for victory in getting this triplex. We need a minor miracle to qualify for the financing, and lots of effort on my part to get the money for it, but I feel like it’s worth it. The way it came about seems like you, Lord, but I don’t want to over-spiritualize it.

Maybe you don’t care either way. If that’s the case, I pray you can help us to get it without a co-signer, without anyone coming alongside us, just us and You and our little tiny income.

We have lots to put down, but the income is what’s lacking. I pray for some divine help here, Lord. It would be so cool to get a rental property and live in it. We have been dreaming about that for years, but your will be done, not mine.

Annso has asked me to lay down the nicotine gum, saying her Mom brought an article that says nicotine somehow shields and hides cancer. I don’t believe all those articles, so I take it with a grain of salt. But hearing her say that spun me out and shocked me. I couldn’t believe how hard it hit me, the thought of starting to quit another thing.

Ok, I can do it, but just because I can, does that mean I have to? She doesn’t ask much of me, so I should just do it, but it [quitting smoking] was really hard, and I found myself fighting for it [nicotine gum] like crazy.

I guess it’s like another perk removed, or the threat of removal, during a time when I feel like I need the crutch the most. Jeremy was a great sounding board on the phone tonight. He has great encouragement for me and defused the bomb, in a way.

The gift Annso is to me has inexpressible value. She does everything for me. Just to have this moment of peace is so valuable to me. A panic attack is always nipping at my heels in this thing, so anything that takes away a small perk that gets me through is hard to imagine.

I ate 2 pieces a day back in Kona, but here, it’s more like 8 or 10. The days are long and stressful, and I lean hard on anything I can. I pray, Lord, for strength to do the right thing, whatever that may be. Please go easy on me.

I pray for healing of this constant neck pain. I don’t know why it’s here or where it came from, but it’s scary. I try to overcome by dwelling on you and your power over my circumstances and how no matter what happens, you win with us, and I will be brought into your kingdom.

I pray against panic and anxiety so I can be here for Annso and little Will, like the father you called me to be. I pray for strength, supernatural strength to stand on you alone and come out the other side of this thing alive and stronger than even before, if that is even possible.

Thank you for the financial blessings you have poured out on us this year, the provision you have poured down on us. I pray the numbers for this duplex will add up so we can get it without help from anyone else. Please perform a miracle in that way.

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“The Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places…” (Isaiah 58:11)