An Empty Feeling

Hans and KatyOur son Hans lives in England full time and is married to Katy, who was born and raised there. He first encountered Katy on a 5 month mission trip based in New Zealand, and by mid-way through those weeks, he knew she was the one-and-only for him.

Nate and I worried it might only be the equivalent of a summer camp romance that might fade after they returned to their native countries, but just the opposite happened. They’ve had a strong, Christ-centered marriage for 6 years now.

Shirt-tail Relatives

We four parents enjoyed developing relationships, too, experiencing many common bonds as we got to know each other. Cliff was a city lawyer like Nate, and both loved history. They, too, had a large family (5 children), and Sarah was an at-home mother, investing heavily in hearth and home as I had. Best of all, we related through our faith in Christ.

I remember our first visit to Katy’s childhood home. Sarah, who has always baked the family bread from scratch, had a stove/oven like I’d never seen before. Her “aga” was a wonder, always “on” with higher heat in some compartments than others. There was no temperature dial, but Sarah knew where to put her bread, where souffle cooked best, and where to gently warm leftovers.

An aga stove and oven

Since Sarah chose not to have a dishwasher, the stainless bar across the front of the aga served as an ideal place to dry dish towels. Their well-used tea towels depicted places of interest the family had been, and I liked spreading them out to see. It didn’t take long for Sarah and I to establish a tea towel appreciation club of sorts, and since we first met, we’ve been sending interesting towels back and forth across the ocean.

Two weeks ago, a mysterious 6” X 9” envelope appeared in my mailbox with Sarah’s return address on it and nothing inside. Along with the customs stamp, air mail sticker, and “Royal Mail” label was a red ink stamp from our local post office: RECEIVED WITHOUT CONTENTS. No explanation was given.

Empty envelope

From Sarah’s note on the customs sticker I saw she’d written “linen” and knew I’d missed out on another tea towel, along with a meaningful note that surely accompanied it. The empty envelope made me feel empty inside.

Life is full of empty experiences, most of them far more serious than an empty envelope. The Bible actually tells us to expect that kind of thing. Whether Sarah’s tea towel disappeared by accident or a misdeed we’ll never know, and “why-answers” about life’s other empty experiences usually aren’t forthcoming either.

But there is satisfaction in knowing that every empty feeling of human experience will one day be filled by God. And I believe (just for the fun of it) that he’ll even let us know what happened to Sarah’s missing tea towel.

“Your throne, O God, endures forever and ever. You rule with a scepter of justice.” (Hebrews 1:8)

I wanna do it!

Emerald loves to help in the kitchen. Never mind that she’s only 7 months old. When I cut up my stir-fry veggies, she likes to sit in her Bumbo on the counter next to me, banging the broccoli against the counter-top or washing the pea pods with her drool.

Emerald assists in the kitchen

If I’m holding her when I open the refrigerator, she lunges toward its contents, fascinated by the variety of colors and shapes inside. This afternoon I decided she could help as I put food away and set her Bumbo in front of the fruit and veggie drawers. She happily banged them open and closed, sucked on the bag of mini-carrots, and rattled the salad dressing bottles overhead.

No doubt Emerald thinks of herself as wonderfully capable and wonders why she isn’t allowed to do everything the rest of us do. But of course there are several problems. She’s inexperienced, unqualified, and incapable. None of that stops her, though, from wanting to try.

When our Louisa began learning to put words together, one of her first (and oft-repeated) sentences was, “I wanna do-it!”

I wanna do it...

At age two, she wanted to accomplish things with skills she thought she had but didn’t. We all saw the disparity, but of course she couldn’t understand. Her desire was strong, and when we wouldn’t let her try something we knew she couldn’t handle, her objections were loud and long. But having a big dose of want-to isn’t enough to accomplish something beyond our capabilities.

How many times do we adults proceed just like baby Emerald or toddler Louisa, ill-equipped to handle a task but diving into it anyway? We think, “Somehow it’ll all work out in the end.” And when it doesn’t, we end up more frustrated than at the beginning.

Scripture says we should count the cost before starting any endeavor, and if we aren’t able to pay the necessary price, we shouldn’t start. This can be a discouraging place to be as we’re forced to wait before taking action, but what we can do while we’re waiting is work to become fit for the undertaking.

I think of the way God works in people’s lives and know we should imitate that. He usually takes his time putting all the pieces in place before unveiling his plans for us. That’s why it seems so long between our prayer requests and his answers. He doesn’t rush to get things completed in a hurry, and he never panics, but instead proceeds in an orderly way. We should determine to do the same, programming planning-pauses into our lives.

Baby Emerald will gain in skill as she gains in months, and toddler-Louisa has grown into a capable young adult. But all of us have to learn (one way or another) that when we “wanna do it right now,” our timing could very well be off.

And if we need to talk it over with someone who understands, Emerald is usually available.

“Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” (Romans 8:24-25)

It’s very simple.

Nelson.Our son Nelson just arrived home from 5 months of travel through Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand, following God’s lead and listening to his instructions. I’ve been keeping up with him through his blog (www.NelsonNyman.com). His recent post was too good not to share with you, so below is the second half of it, slightly edited.

Nelson has always been candid about his life, even the “bad” parts, and the story he tells is evidence that God skillfully uses all of it, whenever we’re willing.

He wrote this on one of his last nights in Thailand while attending a global missions conference in Chiang Mai:

*            *            *            *            *            *           *            *

I was sitting on the roof of the guesthouse taking a few minutes to process the day, when a man came out of his room and sat down next to me. He set down his pint of whiskey and initiated a conversation.

“Where are you from? Where have you been? Where are you going next? What are you doing in Thailand? Is [YWAM] a Christian organization? Are you a Christian?” The questions usually follow the same line until that point.

“Yes, I’m a Christian. Are you?”

A few people aren’t happy with this question, some are indifferent, and some say they’re Christians, too. This guy told me he thought it was great and that he was also a Christian.

“How is your relationship with God?” I asked. It’s interesting to hear how people answer that.

“Relationship?”

“Yea. Do you talk to God? Does he talk back? And what about Jesus?”

This guy had a gentle demeanor, and asked, “What does it mean to talk with God? How many requests can you ask for in your prayers? Is 2 too many?”

I told him how God reached out to me through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and freed me of belligerent, out-of-control drinking nearly 7 years ago.

“Seven years?!” he said, looking shocked. “No drinking that whole time?”

“Yup.”

“Impossible.”

“Totally possible.”

Eventually, he told me booze was destroying his life, that he wanted to quit, and that he knew God had sent me to him. I told him there were AA meetings in Chiang Mai and that I’d take him to one, if he wanted. He agreed, took a huge tag off his bottle, stood up, and went back to his room.

I’d never been to an AA meeting in Chiang Mai but got online and sure enough, there were lots.

The next day, the guy wasn’t interested. Surprise, surprise.

Chiang Mai Alcoholics Anonymous Clubhouse

But then the thought hit me, “Why don’t you go? It sure couldn’t hurt.” So I did. And sure enough, there were all these alcoholics in an old-school, 1940‘s-style room, slamming coffee, reading from AA literature:

“Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.”

After being reminded of that, I thought about it a lot. AA is a fellowship with a common vision. Christians are, too.

God reaches out to people any way he wants. He always meets us where we are, whether at an AA meeting, on a roof with a stranger, or attending an international Christian conference. In any and all places, he offers the solution to the problem of sin. And when he does, he wants all of us to reach out to others.

So it’s much simpler than I make it. Instead of asking what I can do for God, I should just remember what he’s already done for me, and simply give that away.

“…Freely you have received; freely give.” (Matthew 10:8)