Life – Ongoing

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One thing about us widows is that we stick together, and the question all new widows ask each other is, “How long before I feel better?”

Meanwhile, life keeps happening, and a widow’s first hurdle is to accept the shock that when her husband died, the rest of the world kept going. Such a discovery makes her feel isolated, but the fact that life goes on can also be a motivator, preventing her from believing that there’s nothing more to live for.

Prints from Nicholas

One month before my husband Nate and I heard the words “pancreatic cancer,” we had our annual double-birthday party. By then we were grandparents to 18 month old Skylar and 7 month old Nicholas. Since both lived far from our Michigan home (Florida and England), it was wonderful to receive birthday greetings and photographs from both that year.

Prints from Nicholas.

Nicholas’ parents had made ceramic mugs for Nate and I with his baby handprints and footprints on them. This grandchild is 4 years old now, and when he was last here at Christmas time, I showed him the mugs. He matched his much larger hand to his baby handprint and enjoyed seeing how much he’d grown.

As I continue to use those two mugs, I can’t help but think how much has happened since Nate left us. And of course there’s more “happenings” to come. Klaus reminded me today that his fiancée Brooke never met her future father-in-law, since she came into Klaus’ life a few weeks after Nate died.

Klaus and Brooke.

But what he said immediately after that warmed me. “After all I’ve told her about Papa, she feels like she knows him.” Because Nate was important to Klaus, he frequently and freely talks about him. And because he’s been important to Klaus, he’s becoming important to Brooke.

Our loved ones may die, but as life moves away from their death dates, the influence they’ve had on other people hasn’t died. Sometimes it’s even expanded.

I love talking about Nate and the experiences I’ve had with him, and as I thought about this, I asked myself if I do as well talking about Jesus and the experiences I’ve had with him. Are the people around me, especially those who haven’t met him personally, coming to know him through my steady references to him? Do they “feel like they know him” as Brooke feels about Nate?

Life is moving forward. Birthdays are accumulating. Small hands and feet are growing bigger. Some people are dying while others are being born. But Jesus stays the same through every change and has promised to stick with widows (and anyone else who so desires) as they go through them. He’s just hoping those of us who already know him will faithfully make him known.

The Apostle Paul said, “I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” (Acts 20:24)

Sum…. Sum…. Summertime

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For those of us who love hot, sunny weather, summertime is where it’s at. Once May 1st arrives, we’re giddy with anticipation, and if perchance May presents us with an 80 degree day, it’s cause for audible hallelujahs.

Perfect beach day

Today was that day! The windows flew open despite the absence of screens, the hot-weather clothes emerged from the back of the closet, and my bike rolled up from its basement storage. Along with my still-packed beach bag from last summer, today’s beach outing was delightfully July-like. And to celebrate, Jack got started on his annual shedding program.

There’s something cathartic about settling into a beach chair and notching it to tip-back position. The sigh of “ahhhhh” explains the feeling…. or maybe that’s just for us summertime people. For us, any excuse is good enough to head for a sunny beach, and I’d pitch a permanent tent on the sand if I could. But there is a down side.

Ahhhhh

My skin testifies to how many thousands of hours I’ve spent beneath powerful sun rays at the shore, and the fact that I have my own skin doctor is proof of damage done, amidst the many hallelujahs and ahhhhhs.

Most of us (not just us summer-timers) are experts at justifying the things we love to do, even if it might have harmful consequences for ourselves or, worse yet, for someone else. (I’m not referring to anything illegal here.) We can list all kinds of reasons why it’s ok, even profitable, to spend time doing what might be beneficial in small doses, in big ones. Sometimes we rationalize it to the point of believing we’d be foolish not to do it, and once that happens, it’s difficult to set a limit.

That is, unless God sets it for us.

He might challenge us to take another look at how we’re spending our time through the words of someone we respect and admire, or he could confront us through the mouth of a child we love. It’s possible he’ll stop us by orchestrating consequences that require medical attention, even allowing us to experience an accident. Maybe he’ll simply demonstrate how the losses outweigh the benefits of whatever we’re doing too much of.

Whatever technique God uses, it will or won’t work depending on how we respond.

Some of us plow ahead with doing what we like to do, thinking we’re demonstrating the positive qualities of strength and determination. In reality, being unable to limit ourselves is probably a sign of weakness. But God’s intentions are to strengthen us to do what’s right.

SPF 15

And so, rather than sit under a cloudless sky in a tipped-back beach chair for too many skin-damaging hours, I decided to take action.

I upped the SPF number on my sun screen.

”You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe…. then you know that you’re out of line.” (Romans 14:22-23, The Message)

NO DUMPING

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As jack and I walk through our quiet neighborhood each day, the only sounds are natural ones: blowing evergreens, bird-songs, crickets, Lake Michigan’s waves. Lately, however, the tranquility has been overwhelmed by buzzing chain saws and roaring wood chippers.

Lotsa wood

Tree trimming experts are moving through the area “following the dots” that were painted on tree trunks over a year ago. (Do I understand?) They’re widening air space around electrical wires in an effort to keep them out of harm’s way when storms and high winds cause limbs to fall.

In some cases, entire trees have been brought down but not in the old fashioned way. Although arborists used to shout, “Tim-berrrr!” to warn of a long-falling trunk, today’s workmen take trees down chunk-by-chunk from the top, using sky-high cherry pickers, miles of rope, and men who aren’t afraid of heights.

NO DUMPING PLEASE

Gradually monster-size piles of wood have been left here and there around the neighborhood, waiting to be removed later. This one was humorously deposited at the base of a NO DUMPING sign.

God has a few of his own NO DUMPING signs, hoping we’ll read and heed them, but sadly most of us don’t. One of those is written in especially big letters so we’ll be sure to see it, and it has to do with dumping on ourselves.

Jesus says, “Your sins are absolute trash. Just as garbage that’s left too long in your home gets really vile, sins do the same. They need to be regularly discarded to keep your inner self clean.”

What often happens, though, is we work to clean up all we know is wrong, get ready to give it to God since he offers to haul it away, but then throw it right back into our soul-houses instead. He holds up his NO DUMPING sign, but that doesn’t usually stop us from dumping back into our lives.

Most of us have a desire to obey God’s signs, trusting him to permanently dispose of our sins once we ask for forgiveness. But feeling guilty makes us want to pay for what we’ve done rather than concede that Jesus has already done that for us. To dump it all on him rather than ourselves seems too easy.

Forgiveness of sins ought to hurt more, we think, but therein lies the measureless value of our salvation. Jesus did the hurting for all of us beneath a dumped load of unimaginable weight. For us to continue re-dumping those same sins back onto ourselves again and again is, in a way, refusing to acknowledge what Jesus accomplished on the cross.

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Having watched the tree-cutting activity in our neighborhood for several weeks now, I know the men will be back to remove the pile of wood in the NO DUMPING zone. But am I as diligent in dealing with the sin-debris in my life? And when I am, do I heed God’s NO DUMPING sign or dump it all back to where it came from?

“All the prophets testify about [Jesus Christ] that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” (Acts 10:43)