As Good as New

Back in 1974, Nate and I took out a loan to fix my faulty teeth. Having just had our first child with a second on the way, we fell far short of the extra thousands needed for 4 root canals, their accompanying crowns, and a bridge.

Great teeth

Nate was fortunate to have inherited a good set of choppers, not even needing braces to straighten them. My teeth were a different story, a continual challenge with my first abscess and the related extraction while I was still in high school.

Our ‘70’s dentist was a good one, though, and his work lasted nearly 4 decades. As my new Michigan dentist said today, “You got your money’s worth.” I was visiting him to see what could be done about another split tooth whose crown had fallen off.

These days I seem to be in Dental Repair Phase #2, with a steady string of obligatory re-do’s. There is a silver lining to all this renovation, however. The last 4 decades have seen all kinds of developments in the dental industry, and as my dentist replaces yesterday’s old with today’s new, my teeth are gradually beginning to resemble Nate’s, morphing from greyish metal fillings and gold crowns to pearly whites that look like they’d never known a drill.

Maybe...

Back in 1974, I figured with all the work I needed that by my mid-60’s where I am now, I’d be sporting a full set of false teeth. But today my dentist assured me that won’t happen. And although my mouth is falling apart right now, by the time I hit 70 it may look and feel like the mouth in this picture.

Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. Actually that seems to be the rule. For example, as a praying mom I’ve learned not to box God in by asking him to meet my expectations of how and when he will answer. I know he hears my requests and am sure he’ll work out the answers, but it never fails that things seem to get worse before they improve.

That used to frustrate me and make me wonder if there was a better way to ask for God’s help. But he reminded me of something that spoke to the dilemma: surgeons use scalpels to help patients heal. In other words, they have to cause new hurts to fix the old ones. Dentists work that way, too, and I think God brings the answers to our prayers similarly.

If that’s true, after we ask him to get involved and then watch in shock as things fall apart, we ought to inwardly be rejoicing, because at that point his “fix” can’t be far away.

As I left the dental office today, it wasn’t all bad news. They helped me sell my old crown to a gold-buying guy, who gave me just enough to take a friend to lunch.

“Though you, God, have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again. As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.” (Psalm 71:20)

Broken

This morning it was a double-whammy. The heart pendant had been my Mom’s, and the gold chain had been Aunt Joyce’s. When Birgitta, Emerald, and I arrived at church, I hadn’t noticed that the necklace had slipped off. Even after today’s communion service, while brushing bread crumbs off my sweater, the necklace hadn’t crossed my mind. But when we arrived back at the car, the gold chain was hanging out of the car door, its crystal heart missing, and I remembered.

Aunt Joyce's chain

I got down on my knees to inspect the parking lot pavement under the car, behind the tires, under neighboring cars. Surely I’d find this pendant that was larger than a quarter and sparkling with flashes of light, but even back home there was no sign of it.

Mid-afternoon we decided to take a group walk with the dog, and that’s when we spotted it, on the way to the back yard to get Jack. Broken in two places, my lovely crystal heart was, indeed, sparkling in the sun, but sadly it was no longer wearable.

Broken heart

Life is full of unexpected disappointments. This one was small compared to many but was definitely an oh-bummer moment. What if the pendant had fallen to the floor one step earlier? It would have hit the soft back-door rug instead of concrete. Or, if it had slipped down just one moment later, it would have landed on the car floor mat. But it fell on that one particular footstep, which ruined it.

Isn’t that the way with many life events? After they happen, we play the what-if game, inwardly longing for a different outcome than the one we got. When we’re through with that, we move to passionate wishing by way of if-onlys, setting up scenarios of how it could have gone better than it did.

What’s wrong with thinking that way?

Several things, the first of which is that no amount of hindsight can rearrange what’s already happened. Second, focusing on what-ifs and if-onlys leads us to repeated feelings of regret and sadness. Third, getting stuck in what-might-have-been often eliminates future opportunities. And lastly, if we’ve given God charge of our lives, could it be that those things we wish hadn’t happened are the very things God wanted us to experience? And if that’s true, then shouldn’t we bear them willingly?

But that’s a tall order when it comes to accepting life’s bigger losses, whether it’s a career, a bank account, a home, a friendship, or worst of all, a person we love. But instead of what-ifs and if-onlys, the Lord wants us to consider thinking “as-is.” If he’s the one behind the events of our lives, accepting them as they are while asking him what to do next will lead to a far more satisfying result.

As for my damaged necklace, I think I’ll keep it…. as is. Even a broken crystal pendant sparkles beautifully.

“Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” (1 Corinthians 7:17)

Study it.

Thank you noteRecently Birgitta and I received several pieces of thank-you-mail from 4 year old Skylar. She had carefully crayon-ed the words, “Thank you Midgee!” (minus the “g”) and written out the letters of her signature. Then she’d worked hard drawing 7 colorful pictures. The gifts she was thanking for were only tidbits from the dollar store, but her thanks was enthusiastic and much appreciated at our end.

Shopping trip

Studying a child’s drawings is a window into the heart and mind of the artist. For example, Skylar drew four people, all girls (note the eyelashes) on a shopping trip. It’s not clear who is who except that the girl in the middle is probably her, with her hair carefully styled in the side ponytail she often favors. The baby in the stroller is most likely her little sister Autumn, who’s been made comfortable with a pillow, blanket, and her favorite stuffed animal. The shoppers have filled a grocery cart with goodies, including the bottom rack, and seem happy with their purchases.

Coffee Break

A second drawing depicts two ladies, most likely Linnea and me, sharing a coffee break. The coffee is flowing freely, and the women are enjoying themselves. Another picture shows children at a playground, swinging, climbing, sliding and enjoying a blue-sky day.

The playground

 

As I studied the pictures, I had many questions about the details and wished Skylar was at my elbow with the explanations. But she was 1200 miles away.

Sometimes I feel the same way about biblical word-pictures, especially those that come through the mouth of Jesus. It can be frustrating to read the parables as he taught them, never absolutely sure what he meant. It makes me wish he wasn’t so far away but was at my elbow with clear explanations.

The Bible can be confusing, and many people won’t look into it because they can’t figure out what it means. But setting it on a high shelf and giving up completely is a sure way to gain nothing from it. I believe Scripture’s testimony about itself, that if we sincerely seek God through its words, we’ll definitely find him. And finding him is strong motivation to keep looking into his book.

I only know one person who fully understands Scripture, and that’s Jesus. When he studied as a youngster and then a 20-something, he understood it all. That’s probably why those learned religious scholars of the day gave him their undivided attention when he talked to them in the temple. He had explanations none of them had yet found.

The rest of us may still be in the dark about some of the Bible’s words, but God has given us understanding of others. And eventually, in the hereafter, we’ll understand it all, just like Jesus.

Meanwhile, I might just give Skylar a call. The artist

“What shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my understanding. I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my understanding. (1 Corinthians 14:15)