Who?

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Nate and I were privileged to have 7 children. These 4 sons and 3 daughters are second only to God in the ranking of blessings in our lives. We also lost one child to miscarriage at 11 weeks, but I think often of this 8th child, wondering who he or she was.

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I remember the day we announced to our then-six children that someone new was joining our family.

TreasureI wrote clues and taped them to the underside of each dinner plate in a mini-treasure hunt. After we’d eaten, they read them, oldest to youngest, ending with the news of baby-treasure.

I believe this tiny baby, less than 2” long at the time of his or her death, was already as fully a person as our other 7. The hair and eye color had been established, along with his or her personality and temperament. The DNA was complete, and by God’s breath, an eternal soul had, I believe, been placed within him or her.

Some people would find those statements ludicrous, but knowing God as I do and believing his Word to be an accurate representation of who he is, I know they’re true. One day I’ll receive answers to my questions about #8 and will, beyond that, get to have a vibrant relationship with him or her. It’s a lovely, satisfying thought.

I’ve always been impressed with how different each of our children is from the others, despite being members of the same family. They’re all Nymans, sharing a certain family resemblance, but as in every family, no two are alike, a credit to the Lord’s bottomless creativity. As each one came along, my question for God was always, “Who else might be coming?”

Whoever he wanted to send, we wanted to meet. And get to know.

10 week feet

Maybe that’s why my thoughts of #8 are sometimes frustrating. I know virtually nothing about this person other than that he or she was a Nyman due to be born in late October, 1989. I’ve missed him or her for 23 years. But God’s choice was that we not parent this one, and I trust him enough to know his reasons were good ones.

Besides, he hasn’t completely eliminated my relationship with #8, only postponed it for a while. For Nate that postponement has ended, and sometimes I picture Jesus introducing the two of them. Although God has told us our heavenly relationships won’t be parent-child or husband-wife, he has also let us know we’ll share a depth of relationship with one another that will be more meaningful than anything earthly life has to offer.

And now, as the next generation is coming forth, I’m thrilled to see God’s continuing handiwork as he creates one unique individual after another, each one a wonder.

“You, our Lord and God… created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” (Revelation 4:11)

Cold Rejection

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Here in southwest Michigan we’re longing for warmer weather, but tonight we’ll dip back to 22 degrees. Our longing is premature, though, considering the general rule is to expect random frosts till mid-May. Actually I’ve never risked planting flowers until after Mother’s Day for just that reason.

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One spring years ago I invested in 4 flats of pink impatiens, 36 plants to a flat, intending to put them along the north side of our Illinois home. Though I’d bought them the day before Mother’s Day, I knew enough not to plant until after the weekend.

That night’s forecast was for a hard frost, so after supper I moved my young plants to a safer, warmer spot in the yard. But the next morning when I checked on them, I found they were icy-crisp and twisted with the cold. What had gone wrong?

It turned out I’d put them in the worst possible place to stay out of harm’s way. We had a gentle ditch running along the front of our yard that Nate used to call a “swale.” I thought this mini-valley would offer protection for my impatiens, but warm air rises and cold air falls, so plants in a valley are at high risk.

My intentions were good, but knowledge was minimal, and results were poor.

How many times does this happen in other life-categories? With good intentions we might try to compliment someone but end up foot-in-mouth, or we give a gift that turns out to be totally inappropriate.

Chatting

And what about spiritually? Maybe we charge ahead with the intention of challenging someone about sin, but our inappropriate judging drives them from the Lord. Or we refuse to take a criticism, pridefully thinking we’re above it. Or maybe we share something that should have been kept confidential, disguising it as a prayer request.

Do we get credit with God for having had good intentions, even though the results were bad? How does God want us to prevent these unintentional disasters?

He tells us, “Get educated.” In the wisdom of Proverbs he says:

  • Pay attention, and gain understanding.
  • The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint.
  • Do not forget my words or turn away from them.
  • The unfolding of God’s words brings light.
  • By paying attention to the wise, the simple get knowledge.
  • Whoever has understanding keeps a straight course.
  • The one who gets wisdom loves life.
  • The one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.
  • All who follow the Lord’s precepts have good understanding.
  • From the Lord’s mouth come wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.

Following this counsel will prevent us from making all kinds of unintended errors. As for my swale-mistake with the impatiens, I learned what not to do. And if we make unintentional blunders in the spiritual realm, we can gain wisdom from those, too…. for next time.

“The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7)