What did you do all day?

Having just returned from a week with Linnea, Adam, and three of my grandchildren, today’s post is a tribute to all parents of  young children. (Note: The details expressed here are not the experiences of last week, as you know from yesterday, but are a composite of parents in general.)

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Mud play

A husband arrived home from work one day at the same time he always did. As he pulled into the driveway, he spotted his two young children playing in a mud puddle in the front garden. He was shocked to see they were still in their pajamas, and the chocolate smears on their faces told him they’d had treats just before dinner. After greeting them but keeping his distance in the face of all that mud, he asked, “Where’s your mother?”

“In the house,” they pointed.

When he walked through the front door announcing his arrival as always with “Honey, I’m home!” he slipped in something on the floor: peanut butter, a blob the size of an egg. Quickly removing his shoes and tip-toeing through a mine field of debris, he looked in the direction of the kitchen where he hoped to see his wife making supper, as she always did. But all he saw was wall to wall chaos.

Off the hook

A bucket from the sandbox, turned sideways, sat on a pile of sand, the shovel nearby. There was chocolate pudding on the couch, milk-soaked Lucky Charms ringing a bowl on the desk, and bits of cut-up paper strewn like confetti. The wall phone dangled by its cord.

Kicking toys and books out of his path, he found the refrigerator standing open and an uncapped gallon of milk lying on its side, its contents puddled around books on the floor. A brand new box of Band-aids had been emptied on the counter, some stuck to dirty dishes. Wet dish towels littered the floor.

Oozing goo

A brand new bag of cookies had slipped into a sink full of cold, greasy dishwater, and the table, usually set for dinner, was covered with coloring books, crayons snapped in half, markers without their caps, and open glue oozing onto the table. Glitter sparkled everywhere.

Starting to panic, this husband began hollering for his wife. “Honey? Honey!”

“Up here,” came her calm voice from upstairs.

Fearing she’d fallen and couldn’t get up, he bounded up the steps, stumbling over dirty laundry and stuffed animals. With nervousness in his voice he called, “Where are you?”

“In the bedroom!”

He burst through the door and found her—still in her pajamas, propped comfortably in bed with three pillows, reading a book. Smiling at her husband, she greeted him with a smile. “Hi, Dear.”

Seeing she was perfectly fine, his anger flashed.

“What in the world went on here today?”

“Well,” she said, “every day I do many different things, but today? I didn’t.”

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“Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 19:14)

Look and See

March is the month we northerners like to “think Florida.” After wintertime, whether severe or mild, the thought of replacing naked grey trees with green palms is enticing. Both Nate and I grew up in nuclear families that piled into the family sedan and headed south about this time of year, making the long, slow road trip part of the vacation fun.

Then Nate and I took our first couple-trip to Florida before we had children, staying with college friends in Reddington Beach. And after children, we locked onto a tradition that carried on for decades, driving a minivan full of kids and blow-up toys to Sanibel Island every spring.

When our Linnea found her true love in a family that had lived in Florida for several generations, we had another good reason to head to the land of orange trees and shell beaches. This week, we’re back again, at least Birgitta, Emerald, and I are. We’ve been hanging with Adam, Linnea, Skylar (4), Micah (3), and Autumn (1), though it’s been far from ideal.

Micah

All 3 children have been sick, starting with ear-aches, then upper respiratory infections, moving into hacking coughs, followed by severe pink eye, fevers, vomiting, and finally head colds. Part of living in sick bay all week has also been the struggle to get necessary medicines into these little people, stretching creativity and sometimes patience to the limit.

Skylar

Though we’ve kept face-washing cloths separate, the children have shared their sicknesses anyway. That is, all except 4-month-old Emerald. Our additional challenge has been to keep her disease-free, and with all the juicy coughing and sneezing going on, that hasn’t been easy.

Autumn.

Raising children can be demanding, but this complex week has been over-the-top. So why did God allow such an assault all at once, and during the week of our vacation? Why did he ask so much of these young parents? Is it simply a forced learning of sacrifice? Or maybe his insistence that they give more than they get? Or even a test about putting others ahead of themselves?

I think it’s something different than all that. Every parenting struggle is an opportunity to search for God, who buries himself like hidden treasure within the details of difficulty. There’s a verse in Isaiah that I used to read negatively: “Truly you are a God who has been hiding himself.” (45:15) But could it be he hides in order to see who will work to find him?

During a week of swollen eyes, runny noses, and tear-stained cheeks, I’ve found him in several places: in the ever-expanding patience of Adam and Linnea; in the way a very sick Micah rested his head on my shoulder during story time; in Skylar’s thoughtfulness as she faithfully covered her cough while close to the baby; and in God’s gifts of grace to endure the assault of diseases he allowed.

Emerald

And I’ve seen him as he’s protected Emerald, who will be heading home tomorrow… disease-free.

“The one who seeks, finds.” (Matthew 7:8)

Between the Lines

Historically the headliners in genealogies have been men rather than women, but as is true with the numbers of all genealogies, we can read between the lines.

While still studying my father’s ancestry, several memorable bits of information have come to light. My great-grandmother, Anna Stina Johansdotter, lived an interesting and full life, though she certainly had her share of woe. Born in 1827, she willingly married a man 8 years her senior who was already a widower with two children under 5 years old. He needed a new wife, and Anna Stina committed to him, eventually giving him 6 more children.

According to genealogy birth and death dates, though, her first daughter died one month before her first birthday, and her fifth child, a son, died shortly after delivery. Such heartbreak surely drove her to the Lord for sustenance and encouragement, but do we know for sure?

Of her 4 remaining biological children, 3 left Sweden for America in their late teens/early 20’s, knowing they’d probably never return. Surely this, too, was difficult for Anna Stina. But God blessed her with 8 grandchildren through her step-daughter alone, all of whom remained close-by.

Death notice, Anna Stina

Her husband, Johannes Andersson, died after just 24 years of marriage, leaving Anna Stina a widow for 31 years. We get a glimpse into the heart of this strong woman, though, by reading her death notice, translated from Swedish:

…that our dearly loved mother, Anna Stina Johansdotter in Hol Berget, after patiently bearing suffering, peacefully went to sleep with her faith in her Savior, Nov. 13, 1913, at an age of 86 years, 1 month and 24 days, deeply mourned and missed by children, grandchildren and many other relatives and friends. It is our sad duty to make this known.    

In the words of her obituary we see how she was able to cope: it was her Savior. Her personal Savior. His name was Jesus Christ, and she trusted him in life, in death(s), in disappointment, and through her own final illness.

Carl Johansson and bride, 1898

And so the journey through my father’s father’s father’s father’s side of our family ends, though much more could be told. To see God’s maneuvering of events and relationships in order to walk alongside them was deeply satisfying. And it’s something he eagerly does for anyone willing to let him be involved.

Linking up with the Father, Son, and Spirit didn’t guarantee my ancestors worldly prosperity or protection from hardship, but it did promise both prosperity and protection in the living they would do after dying.

Today all of them have taken delivery of those things. No more babies dying. No more children leaving without returning. No more youthful widowhood, no hardscrabble lives. Because they lived with the Savior back then, now they’ll live with him forevermore.

“If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” (Romans 14:8)