Happy Holiday!

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The holidays offer great times to get extended family members together, and most families try to do it. We’re no different, and the first grouping has just arrived. Hans and Katy, who live in north England, flew across the Atlantic yesterday and ended their long, tiring journey at my house, about dinnertime.

The little ones, ages 3, 2, and 2, hopped out of the van and came bolting toward me in a little pack of enthusiasm, arms spread wide, yelling, “MeeMee! MeeMee!” It was a greeting of love I won’t soon forget! Despite battling jet lag, they held up beautifully through the evening, and when they saw the welcome-cake Louisa had baked, their eyes opened wide! (In a phone call from Britain several days before, I’d asked them what kind of cake they each liked best. Their preferences, green, pink and black, were all baked inside.)

Equally exciting, though, was meeting their new little cousin, Emerald. By the end of the day her little head had been covered with heartfelt kisses and cuddles, and I learned that 2 year old Evelyn has a baby growing in her tummy, too. The fact that she has a new brother or sister growing inside her mommy’s tummy might have had something to do with her announcement.

Next week our census will increase as Linnea’s family of 5 arrives, along with Nelson who will be coming home from Armenia via commitments in Denver, Montana, and Kona. Also on hand will be Lars and Louisa from Chicago, and of course Klaus, based near me year-round. And that’s all of us.

Expectations are running high that events will unfold smoothly, favorite traditions will be kept, good health will hold, and happiness will reign. What family doesn’t hope for all that at the holidays? We picture a Thomas Kincaid painting with fluffy snow on the ground, children playing without bickering, and everyone thrilled with their Christmas gifts.

It’s when this kind of optimism is soaring that we have to be most careful. I don’t think any family hasn’t experienced holiday disappointment during one celebration or another. Maybe it’s distressing conversations or friction during mealtimes, and they’ve become as much a holiday tradition as Christmas brunch. None of us want that, but gathering flawed people together with hopes for a perfect occasion is hardly logical.

So what can be done?

  1. I can work to model an example of cheerfulness, regardless of what others do.
  2. I can commit each holiday get-together to God’s care, beforehand.
  3. I can diffuse stress by interjecting praise and gratitude.

And if all that fails, I can simply dish up the cake!

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

A Unique Teaching Method

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Christmas is 20 days away, coaxing us to think again about the baby of Bethlehem. How did the Trinity decide together on such an outlandish scheme to bring salvation to mankind? Divinity reduced to a newborn? And even more incredible, reduced to a single cell within the human body of a regular woman?

But that became the plan for one important reason: Jesus wanted to do everything we did, to be tempted like us, struggle like us, feel like us, and live with our limitations. Amazingly, he wanted to be just like us.

But why?

One reason was to teach us what a well-lived human life should look like. Another, and of course the most important reason, was to save our souls, a rationale we still can’t understand but enormously appreciate.

I love thinking about Jesus as an infant, then a toddler and a little child. Surely he had an ordinary childhood relationship with his mother, and she did for him all the things we moms did/do for our children. Then as he grew, he lived a model life in front of relatives, friends, and neighbors. Through Scripture’s pages, he became our model, too.

But when did his teaching begin? Was it at age 30 at the start of his ministry? Or well before that? Is it possible his choice to become a born-baby was meant to teach us something, too?

My mom loved kids, preferring their company to that of adults. I think one of the reasons was her ongoing expectation that they could teach her something, even the newborns. She watched them closely, sometimes talking to them as if they were the Lord’s emissaries of wisdom.

“Tell me about God,” she’d say, focusing on the squinty eyes of a newborn who was still a year away from answering with words. But words or not, Mom expected to learn. And she absolutely loved the idea that our Savior was born a baby “in the usual way.” He didn’t arrive to save us dressed in the armor of a warrior. He didn’t inherit a throne through royalty. He didn’t conquer with guns or swords. Instead he entered the scene unremarkably… just by being born.

Mom used to tell us, “When you recite John 3:16, think about the word ‘begotten.’ God gave us his ‘only begotten Son.’ It means ‘born of parents,’ and Jesus was born just like you, helpless, dependent, needy.”

In the ordinariness of his infancy, she wanted us to learn something. She hoped we’d see that our Savior was approachable in his humanity rather than intimidating in his divinity. Years later we would learn the difference between him and us, of his sinlessness and our sin. But as children, she wanted us to relate to, and learn from, our common infancies.

Because Jesus willingly came in that humble way, we love him all the more.

“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

Complete Dependency

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Little Emerald is almost 5 weeks old. She’s gained nearly 3 pounds, which is quite a bit, since she left the hospital weighing only 7 pounds 9 ounces. We’re loving her double chin and dimpled hands, and Birgitta is doing a beautiful job nursing her.

Emerald’s eyes have learned to focus intently now, unlike in the beginning when they would freely cross while looking at nothing in particular. These days, her favorite thing to look at is her mommy’s face. She studies Birgitta’s features as she’s feeding, memorizing every detail with a gaze of complete adoration and feelings of absolute dependency. And when Emerald can’t readily see that face, she’ll crane her neck to do so. Her mother’s presence equates to complete security in Emerald’s mind, and she spends most of her wake-time searching for her and wanting to be close to her.

If Birgitta chose not to feed Emerald when she was hungry, she would gradually lose weight. If she didn’t change her, bathe her, keep her warm, and speak lovingly to her, Emerald would fail to thrive, eventually becoming sick, and finally dying. And yet this little one knows nothing of these dangers, trusting her every need will be met by her mother.

We might say Emerald is blissfully ignorant of life’s many hazards, which positions her perfectly to abandon herself to someone else’s care. And if we carry that image into the spiritual realm, God our Father wants us to have the identical relationship with him, focusing away from life’s hazards and abandoning ourselves to his choices for our lives.

Why is this so difficult? Why do we clutch onto our self-made plans rather than surrendering to the One who can do all things? That’s about as crazy as Emerald trying to dress herself or wash her own hair. It’s probably because we’re well aware of life’s dangers. Giving God the reins (which includes standing back so he can work) is a daily trust-tussle inside our heads.

Surely it’s not because we doubt his capabilities. Nor can it be a question of his wisdom. And none of us distrust the magnitude of his love. It’s just too hard to give ourselves over.

We’d never say out loud that we know better than he does, but our actions often say it. As a result, we’re consumed with worry, we’re loaded with stress, we nurture our fears, and we forfeit hours of sleep trying to manipulate circumstances and people. God looks down at this turbulence and says, “So unnecessary. But if you insist, the consequences will be all yours.”

Precious Emerald sets a ready example for those of us living with her. When she has a need, she cries for her mommy-provider and doesn’t try to solve problems on her own. She’s secure in Birgitta’s arms, gazing at her face, and when she sleeps, it’s the deep, nothing-can-wake-me-up sleep of a trusting soul.

With determination of will, we can be the same way with God.

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8)