Nelson’s journal 3/2/22

Today is the due date for Baby Boy Nyman to arrive, but he didn’t get the memo and was still tucked in tight by the end of the day. As for Nelson, he is still having a tough time finalizing a few decisions, and so, as always, he hashes it all out in his journal.

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March 2, 2022 

I had this thought this morning about repentance. Like in the Catholic church. Have I been in the active practice of confessing my sins? In my prayer times, I don’t know if active confession is a part of it like it used to be.

It’s 6 am and Annso and I are stirring around in the dark before I head to work with Tim out at Waikoloa. It’s a couple days a week at this point, but it doesn’t seem like something that will work for us, given the circumstances of our lives and the support we have.

We don’t even really need the money, so it’s just about getting educated in electrical work, which I like, but at what cost and what’s the need for that?

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”Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” (Psalm 143:8)

Nelson’s journal 2/28/22

After a visit from a missions team sent by their home church in Nashville (Brentwood Baptist Church), Nelson made up his mind about the chance to become an electrician. His answer had to be no—and he seems relieved after deciding to stick with Kokua Crew.

In this journal entry he makes reference to “this throat thing,” which is his first reference to a health problem. During that time, he had a persistent cough without having a cold or any other related reason. It won’t be too long, though, before he finds out why he’s coughing.

In this entry he also refers to having a lack of energy, something highly unusual for him. So he’s made an appointment with a doctor to see what’s wrong.

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February 28, 2022

It’s 5:30 am Monday. Just finished a great time with the BBC crowd that Sharon led out here. They did as well as one of their teams can do. They threw a really nice baby shower for Annso yesterday, and all the Kokua Crew showed up.

I think the best way BBC could serve in that way is just to put the word out there in Kairos (church youth program) and have the kids sign up for terms with us like the regular Kokua Crew. They’d get the most and so would we that way.

Either way, churches and politics are involved to some extent in all these things, too. It doesn’t look like the career choice I was going to make with Tim the electrician will work out, unless I just throw this whole thing overboard and make a radical change, which doesn’t seem wise at this point.

We could maybe change housing locations (moving off the base), but to totally jump ship when it’s going so well doesn’t seem like the best move. God is merciful. Had a great service yesterday at church. We are officially going to 2 services a month plus or minus. It has seemed like the obvious choice for a long time. I’m surprised we haven’t done it sooner. Sometimes the only thing in my way is me.

I pray, Lord, for me to get out of the way and let you do your thing. Please give us the ability to let you lead and direct our steps. You have done it so well thus far. I pray not to try and take control back, not to try and be the one in charge and grab for security. I pray for the right move with the BBC (right) and YWAM outfits both. You have set us up in such a nice position, that I can hardly believe we have what we have. Thank you.

I pray for a safe, quick, and healthy birth for our little guy. I pray you can help me with this throat thing and the doc today, that I can be back to normal. Amen.

At 2:30 pm I got a text from Tim to come back to work for a couple days. I have decided to work for him sometimes, as he needs, so I can learn from him, but not take on the work full time. I don’t feel like I can do that and do best by my little family.

God, you gave me more than I could ask or imagine, and I want to do the best I can by them. Annso is so nice to me, releasing, and wants me to be happy. I want her to be happy and to feel secure.

Bob and I went to visit Steve Foth (security man) at his place this morning because I felt Jimmy’s Sunday sermon was a push in that direction. It was good to be there and to talk about stuff other than work, even though that did come up. He likes to stay up to date on the happenings at the campus.

Did the usual devotional routine, staff meeting, etc. even though I didn’t feel up on my game at all. Couldn’t muster the energy to dig in with the grounds team, so I did some work here at home, but not much. I trip on why people choose to be in YWAM. Steve said he would love to have had a career as a cop. Pieter said he would have been a builder if he had another life.

I shared that with Annso this morning, and she said that both of them have had the chance to do it, just not in the professional capacity they think would make them happy. It’s good to be content where you are and work hard to stay in that place.

 

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Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord, not for men.” (Colossians 3:23)

Nelson’s journal 2/23/22

As Nelson journals, he often gains new insights by working things out through the keyboard on his laptop. Today he’s pondering the difference between physical blindness and spiritual blindness. And in thinking about seeing, he’s also learning something special about hearing.

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February 23, 2022

We had a leader named Christiphe speak at the KC (Kokua Crew)meeting last night. Pretty charismatic guy, catered to the youth, said he was a pastor for 7 years. Stayed within the time frame, which is rare. Most go way over what I tell them. We’re halfway through the week with Sharon and their gang (from their home church in Tennessee). It’s super busy, starts early and finishes late.

Been reading John and now in chapter 9 about the man receiving sight. Site to the blind. Jesus did that a fair amount. One of the ailments of humanity, blindness. It’s a fear people have, it’s a pretty severe handicap if you have it.

Papa (Nelson’s dad) was always worried about eyes and taking care of them. The guy in John 9 was born blind. Sometimes it doesn’t tell how it happened. Of course the story is about spiritual blindness and the kangaroo trial the Pharisees had, to try and find out who healed the man and how it happened.

They hated Jesus. He was giving the people sight, causing them to see and giving them power be making them healthy. Some leaders wanted the people sick and run down so it was easier to oppress them. Why? Just the power it gave them. What an evil thing.

They suffered from blindness too, blinded by intoxication with power. Is blindness a sin? Seems more like a symptom, amounting to a lack of vision. It’s obvious that a blind person doesn’t have vision. John 9:38:

Then the man said, ‘Lord, I believe,’ and he worshiped him. Jesus said, ‘For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.’ Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, ‘What? Are we blind too?’ Jesus said, ‘If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains’.”

Seems vision is something we are accountable for. If we don’t see and do the wrong thing, it’s not wrong, but if we do, or even claim to see and do wrong, we are guilty.

Lord, I pray for vision. So many things can affect our vision. What am I guided by? What am I getting security from?

The love of money is one thing that can blind people and cause them to make wrong choices. Bob told me he heard the pastor at Living Stones say that life is like Monopoly. At the end of the game, all the money is put back in the box and the box goes back on the shelf. Why would we be greedy with what we’ve been given then? Spiritual blindness maybe?

Lord, take spiritual blindness away from us. Amen.

Took the guys in small group to the prayer room after the flags tonight to hear God’s voice together. The usual stuff, but I’m shocked how much God wants to speak to us if we give him the time. We would all be so much better off if we just spent that time with God.

Just making the time is 99% of the battle. But the “desire for other things” usually wins out. It’s been better for me though, lately. I’m thankful for the life we have, for Annso mainly, for the BBC team we are hosting this week, for Sharon and the connection we have with each other, for good connections with people here, so that we have each other.

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”The listening ear and the seeing eye, the Lord has made them both.” (Proverbs 20:12)