Church at Home

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Family vacations can be hectic, sometimes leaving people in need of another vacation when they get home. With multiple babies on our trip, going anywhere  is a big deal and includes intensive preparation beforehand and extensive clean-up afterwards. Even getting out to church this weekend would have been a major ordeal, so we voted unanimously to have church at home.

A Saturday evening service timed to take place after our five little people were “put away” was the best option, and we began making plans for the service as soon as we arrived at Afterglow. Nelson rose to lead and assigned tasks to each of his siblings. No one deferred.

We shared a simple meal in preparation for our service, then between the spaghetti and the cake, moved to the living room for church. Adam opened the meeting with prayer, after which Katy and Klaus led us in singing, with Klaus accompanying on his guitar. Hans and Linnea took turns giving “a word,” Hans from Luke 19 and Linnea from 1 Thessalonians 5, and Lars and Louisa both read Scripture in conjunction with what was said. Nelson finished with a meaningful communion service using home-baked rolls and apple juice served by Louisa. Birgitta wrapped it all up with a benediction prayer.

With all of us gathered, I took the opportunity to talk about our revised family, dwelling on the completeness of it as it is now, as its been this week at Afterglow: minus Nate but plus three babies. It was difficult to say it out loud, and it didn’t happen without tears. But the truth of our new God-arranged family is the truth we are all in the process of trying to believe. We want to accept it, and as times passes, we will.

The fact is, our family will continue to change, as every family does. Losing Nate was not the last change that will be made. The thought of another subtraction is awful, and we hope it doesn’t happen any time soon, but the thought of additional family members coming along through marriage or children is lovely. Only God knows the details, and we are trusting fully in his plans for us.

As we bowed to pray in preparation for our communion service with the purpose of coming clean before the Lord, my mind filled with one thought: God is in our midst.

The ten of us sat in a circle during our simple home-church, talking about him, singing for him and praying to him. We weren’t focused on our group as much as on him. I believe he was with us in a dramatic way last night, receiving our praise, forgiving our sins and answering our requests. He has his hand on each of us as individuals and on our family as a unit. There is nothing to fear, and it’ll all work out OK.

But with him in our midst, it couldn’t turn out any other way.

“Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:20)

Is it an oxymoron?

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Becoming a parent is to sign on for 20 years of intense, fatiguing work that ages a couple before their time. Why then do people say that having children “keeps you young?”

During these days at Afterglow, I’m observing this parental oxymoron up close, young parents in the throes of exhaustion while simultaneously gaining energy from their lively offspring. Children bring sparkle to life. God certainly knew what he was doing when he made babies so adorable. Dog-tired parents staggering toward the crib for the fifth time in one night melt when they see their little one, even when viewed through the fog of fatigue.

Watching all this baby-action at Afterglow, such a familiar location, brings back floods of happy memories of past vacations here when our children were young. They grew from babyhood to adulthood during our 25 years of visits to the Wisconsin Northwoods, and the photo albums bulge with proof of those joyful days together.

Last night as the 15 of us were finishing up a dinner of pork chops, baked potatoes, veggies, brownies and ice cream, Linnea disappeared and returned carrying a big gift-wrapped package, tied with a glittered bow. Skylar zeroed in on it right away. “Grandma Midgee! Open that blue present right now!”

She helped me unwrap one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever received, a scrapbook-sized, hard-bound book all about Nate. Beginning months ago, Linnea had gathered photos and texts from each of her siblings, including our daughter-and-son-in-law. Many of the pictures had been taken through our years at Afterglow, and the theme of the album was Nate’s love for his family.

I studied it carefully a second time after everyone was asleep, savoring the beauty of our family past and letting tears of gratitude come as I read again what each one had to say about their father and father-in-law. When I put my head on the pillow later, the thought resounded, “I have much to be thankful for with no cause for complaint.”

God wants us to have gratitude in all situations, throughout every day, and that’s all-inclusive. It includes the day we learn of cancer, the moment a husband/father dies, the hour of his funeral, the weeks of sadness that follow, and every circumstance we might encounter through the years. In recent months I’ve learned we can even be thankful while weeping. On its surface, this seems to be an oxymoron, but following these biblical instructions turns out to be the path of healing.

Although some things are harder than others to thank God for, I know one that’s always easy: my children/children-in-law. I’ve got the best kids in the world, despite every parent saying the same thing. Last night that truth was underscored when they presented me with their beautiful album.

Of course none of us will ever forget Nate, but now we have the treasure of this custom-made book chronicling his life in both words and photos to keep it all fresh… another reason for me to be grateful during this season of healing.

“Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God.” (Psalm 50:14a)

Preserving Traditions

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Every family has its traditions, and most families work hard at creating happy memories through them. Children find security in routine, and part of that is revisiting traditions, “… because we always go there… always visit them… always do that…”

Just as children love to read and reread the same story book, they also love to repeat times of family togetherness. When our kids were growing up, they’d ask, “Are we going back to Afterglow this summer?”

What they were really asking was, “Are we the same family we were last year? Does everybody still love everybody else?” Establishing and repeating traditions is a first-rate family stabilizer.

Wednesday we traveled 475 miles to Afterglow Lake in the Wisconsin Northwoods to resurrect a week of family traditions and togetherness. Although we vacationed here for 25 summers in a row, we stopped visiting the year we bought our own summer cottage in Michigan, nine years ago. I’ll never forget the unsettled looks on our kids’ faces when we told them we wouldn’t be returning to Afterglow after that. Their objections were so strong we had to bottom-line the discussion with, “…at least for now.” Well-established family traditions don’t die without a fight, which proves their worth.

God has valuable family traditions, too. As his children we eagerly participate and are thankful for his consistency in these. When we take part in prayer and Scripture reading, we’re joining in on his well established traditions, put in place for our benefit. He’s also invited us to take part in the tradition of attending church with other believers, something else that benefits us with the gifts of fresh understanding and insight. God’s faithfulness in keeping his traditions is a tribute to his perfect character.

The Nyman traditions have never been on as high a plane as the Lord’s, of course, but some of the family-stabilizing ones we’ve loved most have been connected with the warmth and joy of past Afterglow vacations. For example, one favorite tradition born here was “Ice Cream for Dinner Night.” We’d all get good and hungry, and then pile into the station wagon for a big meal at Eagle River’s elaborate, old-fashioned ice cream parlor.

Round One might be a sundae or banana split, Round Two a malt or float. Only the brave went for Round Three, which could have been a loaded waffle cone with sprinkles as we walked out the door. The result of all this sugary goodness was sweet memories.

When we count traditions as important, in a way we’re modeling what God does for us as he demonstrates parenting perfection by being faithful to his own supernatural traditions. When we participate in these, he’s answering our question,  “Do you still love us, Lord?” By challenging us with Scripture, teaching us in church and answering our prayers, he’s saying, “Yes!”

So the next time we’re tempted to let a tradition go because it’s too much trouble or because obstacles get in our way, we should think twice and persevere. Our families will grow through these regular customs and experience a small sample of the security we feel as children of our tradition-oriented heavenly Father.

And now… what will I order first at the ice cream parlor?

“Every year, [Jesus’] parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover.” (Luke 2:41)