A Rare Treat

I am a devotee of big families. Although people thought we were crazy to have seven children in this day and age, to us life seemed better with so many kids in the house. True, stress levels could rise quickly, but that’s life in most households. Contrary to logic, though, having seven children was oftentimes easier than one or two. By the time the younger ones came on the scene, the older ones could be a genuine help.

For example, after I taught the first two to tie their shoes, I never taught another. The older ones did it. By the time the first one could drive, we had another person to help with the carpool. And in a public place, the older ones knew instinctively to keep track of the younger. So the truth about big families is that seven children is not seven times the work of one. They are, however, seven times the joy.

As big families grow and change, there is one chronic problem though. It becomes more and more difficult to get them all assembled in the same place at the same time. Our seven, plus two spouses and five grandbabies, live in distant locations with thousands of miles separating them from each other and me. Jobs, budget considerations and other commitments inhibit frequent travel, and when we do succeed in getting together, it’s a rare treat.

When Hans, Katy and their three little people arrived out of nowhere yesterday (actually out of England), it was the surprise to top all surprises. I’m still savoring the joy of that heart-warming reunion. It quickly became evident we needed to get the last one of us from distant Iowa north to Afterglow a.s.a.p!

Tonight we motored from this small Northwoods town of several hundred people to a larger town of several thousand. When we pulled up to the airport curb where we were invited to idle and wait (how different from Chicago’s airports!), we watched Birgitta’s propeller plane land very close to where we sat.

Our reunion was joy-filled as her arrival completed the family circle. My mother-heart warmed, knowing our family of 15 would be tucked in under the same roof tonight, a rare treat, now that so many have grown and flown.

I thought of how none of us would have been at Afterglow Lake this week, had Nate not passed away last fall. If he was still with us, his work schedule and debilitating back issues would have kept us from making the trip. It’s also remarkable that three family members who were not with us when Nate was, are here at Afterglow this week. There have been many changes, with more to come.

Life is moving forward, and time is sweeping us all along, tugging us away from the past and into the future. Our family is different without the husband and father we loved, but there is no choice but to become a new whole.

God subtracted one, added three, and this week we are reveling in being together… just as the Lord designed our changing family to be, at least for now.

“I the Lord do not change . So you, O descendants. . . are not destroyed.”  (Malachi 3:6)

SURPRISE!

 

Packing, loading and finally pulling away from the house to leave for vacation can be a stress-filled, never-ending project. Even when climbing in the car, people hop out and say, “Oh! Just one more thing!” or “Oops! I forgot something!” or “Wait just a second!”

This morning was no exception as we tried to get away by 9:00 AM with two vehicles packed to the ceiling and two little ones needing constant consideration. Every adult heaves a huge sigh of relief after finally buckling their seat belts and saying, “OK! Let’s go!”

Some families are disciplined enough to set alarms for pre-dawn vacation starts, arriving at their destination in daylight with enough time to enjoy most of that first rental day. Our family has a poor track record in this department, often arriving after midnight as a result of lengthy, complicated starts. We did well today, starting our engines by 9:45.

 

When we turned into the long, familiar driveway of Afterglow Lake Resort, we were gratified to see it hadn’t changed much. But as we walked into the same house we’d rented for so many years, I got the surprise of a lifetime. Standing in the living room and grinning from ear to ear were Hans and Katy Nyman… all the way from England!

I gasped to see them and couldn’t hold back the tears! How did they pull that off? With three children under two, they secretly flew the eight hours to Chicago, found someone to pick them up at the airport and keep them overnight until it was time to start our week in the Northwoods, found someone willing to loan them a car, and then found their way here. And this they did with three babies who are still operating six time zones away.

I was flabbergasted! As we all gathered around the giant dining table over pizza, the details of their decision came to light. They’d thought of all of us together without them and made the decision to join us just two days before they came. Katy creatively called upon pals and her mom to help her pull it all together in a hurry, and then they came! Thanks to Katy’s resourcefulness when the twins were newborns, they already had American passports by three months of age, allowing them to make this traveling decision with the snap of a finger. And special blessing goes to Mary and Bervin for doing the airport shuttle, providing overnight housing and the borrowed car. I’m still speechless, six hours after the fact!

The only thing running through my mind is, “God is good!”

Underneath all the arranging, packing, traveling and arriving were the arms of a loving Father, firmly holding our wounded family in his tender hands. He allowed Nate to succumb to cancer for a separate set of important reasons, but in the mean time has been faithfully carrying the rest of us through these difficult weeks and months with blessings exactly when needed. He knows what we can bear and holds the limit beneath that maximum. And when a special boost is needed, he orchestrates it to come at just the right time, wrapped with a ribbon of joy.

Now all we have to do is figure out a way to pluck Birgitta from the University of Iowa and move her 500 miles north to join the rest of us. If that works, the impossible will have happened: all 15 of us together at Afterglow Lake, our favorite vacation place.

 

“The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” (Deuteronomy 33:27)

Preparation Day

Yesterday was Labor Day, but today felt more like it as we labored to pack for a family vacation. Although I’ve put more than 16,000 miles on my Highlander in seven months, there’s been no restful retreat. Beginning tomorrow, however, we’ll start an official pleasure trip to the Wisconsin Northwoods, a week together after the most strenuous year of our lives.

Our destination is nearly 500 miles from the Michigan cottage, so perseverance will be tomorrow’s byword. We’ll be heading for Afterglow Lake Resort in Phelps, Wisconsin, a destination dear to all of us. Nate chose it 33 years ago when Nelson was four, Lars two and Linnea a newborn. We’d never been so far north and were astonished by the striking beauty of aspen forests full of wild blueberries and quiet lakes reflecting clean skies.

We loved our week “up north” so much, we returned for 25 summers in a row. Unlike the unpredictable waters of Lake Michigan, Afterglow never varied with its still surface, absent of motorboats and their noise. The lake was always stocked with fish, and each cabin came with a rowboat for young fishermen to try their luck. Nate taught all our kids to fish at Afterglow, spending as many hours in a boat with them as on terra firma.

The freedom that was afforded children at Afterglow was a big draw, since they could roam endless acreage in safety. We required life jackets until age 12, after which we knew they’d survive if they capsized a canoe, slipped off a Sunfish or fell from a boat.

Five of our grown children will be on this trip, each one keen to revisit Afterglow. Lars mentioned that he and Nelson used to hide trinkets in the woods before we left each year, eagerly running back to check for them the next summer. They’ll be checking again this year, although nine harsh, northern winters will have worked to dislodge whatever they last hid.

As we leave, all of us are hoping to meet with the fun of yesteryear, but we know we’re taking a chance. Without Nate leading our pack, we may be in for some tear-filled surprises. But I firmly believe it was God’s idea in the first place that we return to Afterglow. Last Christmas, with Nate’s November death still so fresh and painful, I didn’t have the heart for Christmas shopping. Our spirits were flagging, and the only thing any of us wanted for Christmas was to have Nate back.

So I cried out to the Lord and asked him what to do. The idea for coupons under the Christmas tree promising a week at Afterglow Lake in 2010 was God’s answer. (See “Lowering Expectations” Dec. 26, 2009) The kids had been thrilled at the time, and we all looked forward to that distant day, hoping we’d be well on the way to healing by then.

And here we are, departing in the morning. Healing has been checkered at best, and none of us is sure how this will work. Our expectation isn’t to cling to the past or reestablish Nate’s tradition without Nate. We’re just trying to put a period at the end of a long, happy vacation story.

Or… because we’ll have the effervescent Skylar along with us, instead of a period, it might just be an exclamation point!

“Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile’.” (Mark 6:31)