Daft on Rafts

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Waves, rafts and kids… a formula for fun. Today the girls celebrated Birgitta’s last vacation day before college by romping in heady Lake Michigan surf. Their laughter rose above the crash of the waves, and I had as much fun watching them as they had playing.

Churning white water presents three options: over, under or through. Leaping to jump or dive over a wave is a delight, offering a smooth ride down. Ducking under to let the turmoil of a breaking wave roll above you is especially good if you open your eyes and watch it pass.

But choosing to go through a wave, experiencing the full power of underwater chaos, is spectacular. Knowing you’ll come out the other side lets you submit with abandon.

Lake Michigan waves, admittedly friendlier than their bigger ocean counterparts, develop in the same way as the giant cousins. A new weather system bringing wind begins to stir calm water into a chop, which is followed by larger breakers. Bigger winds? Bigger waves.

Because of weather’s ongoing changes, we’re never sure when to pack the rafts for a day at the beach. But the rustling of trees along with a distant roar lets us know.

Like the continual change on the water’s surface, our family is adjusting to changes, too. The biggest one has been getting used to Nate’s absence. Ten of us have been working hard to calm our emotional waters over the past nine months. In many day-to-day ways also, a measure of chaos similar to white water has risen up and overwhelmed, just as big waves break over a swimmer on a raft.

Since last November, the “weather” of grief has shifted often, sometimes leaving us to tread water without a raft at all, which is exhausting. We’ve all felt like the next storm might swamp us completely, should it arrive too soon. But here we are, still afloat, making gradual progress through the waves.

Now we’re beginning to experience fresh winds of family change. Birgitta will become a first time university student. Nelson will return after circling the globe since last January while leading a YWAM group. Louisa will begin an intensive nine month Bible school, and Jack and I will regroup in an empty nest. Waves may develop, or there may be calm water ahead. It’s too soon to get the weather report.

But we aren’t alone in this. Everyone experiences change, and much of it involves waves. Waves of grief, waves of pressure, waves of work, waves of obstacles, waves of decisions.

Forty years ago we sang along with a Top 40 hit whose chorus went like this:

  • Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the waters.
  • Put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea.

It was good counsel then and is still good now. The mental picture of God’s big, sure grip on each of us as we toss about in the waves of change should remind us he’s pulling us through toward quieter waters.

As a matter of fact, God has plans to one day pull everybody out of the water completely. We’ll be done with going over, under or through any more waves of change. And when that happens, we can deflate our rafts for good.

“He leads me beside still waters.” (Psalm 23:2b)

King of Rock ‘n Roll

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There’s been a running debate in our family since 1977: is Elvis Presley in heaven?

Although none of us knew him personally, thankfully God knew him and knows him still. And in deciding who goes to heaven and who doesn’t, he never makes a mistake. He made the decision about Elvis 33 years ago today.

Whichever way it went, several family members do agree Elvis made heavenly music here on earth. Nate absolutely loved the music and owned every recording Elvis ever made, including the “rare” ones and the re-makes. He played them so much, they actually wore out and had to be repurchased again and again.

Nate, tone-deaf himself, used to ask me, “Does Elvis have a really good voice? I mean, by musical standards, is he a good singer?”

With the high expectations of his question and the raised eyebrows of hope, the only acceptable answer was, “He’s the best.”

Mom thought Elvis was a worldly influence devoid of Christian thinking, and Nate gently chided her about this, citing the many gospel recordings he’d made. They agreed to disagree, and Nate just laughed when she’d say, “I don’t know what you see in that guy.”

What Nate saw was a down-home person who recorded singable music and never lost his country charm. Elvis produced huge volumes of music and was, Nate claimed, the best-ever in many categories. Having a mind for numbers, he was always ready with statistics: Grammy nominations and awards, #1 recordings, earned income, posthumous income and anything else that set Elvis apart. He knew the biography of every person he ever employed and had a full repertoire of Elvis quotes. Although Nate knew the words to every Elvis song, his singing was only in-the-shower acceptable. He did do some fine speaking impressions, though.

Despite the fact that Elvis’ home, Graceland, is the second most visited house in the nation (after the White House), Nate had never been there. A couple of years ago our boys surprised him with a guys-only trip to the mansion and surrounding sites. Although Nate already owned quite a few pieces of Elvis memorabilia, he came home with even more, a copy of his driver’s license and death certificate included.

I remember the evening several years ago, long after Elvis had died, when Nate and I watched a TV special that tried to define Elvis’ spirituality. No one could confirm his beliefs one way or the other, but Nate knew of his childhood days in an Assembly of God church and was sure his heart was devoted to God. Nate also mentioned that Elvis had recorded most of his gospel songs after he’d said, “I never sing a song I don’t believe in.”

Nate had taken that statement at face value, saying, “Elvis sang ‘rock and soul’ music.”

After watching the TV special during which former band members and a hair dresser described Elvis’ continual search for spiritual truth, Nate felt sure the King of Rock and Roll was dwelling with the King of Kings.

Either way, Nate now knows the bottom line… unless of course Elvis is spotted tomorrow at the local Burger King.

“When the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.” (Titus 3:4-5)

A Good Name

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In cleaning off my Microsoft Word files, I came to one “doc” I’m saving: “Business people tell about Nate.”

Everyone who has a job outside the home works hard in ways his family may never know. Our young children used to think their Papa rode the train for a living, since that’s where we saw him off in the morning and greeted him again at night. But what did he really do all day?

Simplifying the answer for a child was difficult. He worked in an office using pens, paper, a computer, copy machines, a phone. But what else did he do?

In recent months, other people have been answering that question for us. Since Nate died, we’ve found great joy in reading stories that clients, other lawyers and business associates have sent to us. And now we know what Nate really did all day.

Although Nate would be embarrassed by this, here’s a sampling:

  • ”I met Nate a little over 10 years ago, when he represented my husband and me in a law suit against the people who reneged on our house deal, leaving us homeless with a baby on the way. The other side figured out a million ways to drag the suit out for years. In all that time, Nate never wavered in his commitment to our case or us. He was both patient and tenacious, and with that soothing voice of his, he could always convince me everything would work out okay. I will always be grateful for his kindness, support and concern. The world has lost a hero.”
  • ”One day I was looking for a good real estate attorney. Subsequently, I was introduced to your husband by your brother. I soon discovered that I’d been introduced to not only a great attorney but a good person. Nate and I quickly became great friends. We had many early morning conversations about many things – his family, his church, politics, etc. I was profoundly saddened by the news of his passing.”

  • ”As a business associate back in the 1980’s when Nate was in the apartment business, I remember him as one who consistently conducted his business at the very highest level of integrity, something which is lacking today on the part of many people.”

  • ”Nate set a great example with his work ethic and his positive approach to life. Always such a gentleman. On a personal note, most lawyers probably don’t continue to have a good relationship with the party on the other side of a divorce. He was kind and understanding, and it made a difficult situation much easier for me. That was years ago, but I have not forgotten.”

  • “Mr. Nyman was incredibly kind and helpful to me and my husband at a time when we really needed someone to be in our corner. I recall how much he loved his family, which he mentioned several times during the course of our meetings.”

  • “Nate will be remembered for his intellect and wit. He was a man of principle in a world of dying principles. Nate was a man you could trust. He affected all those he did business with, with honor and grace. He will be sorely missed by many who enjoyed his company.”

  • “I first met Nate when I was a law clerk. Although I only worked with him for a brief time, I cannot tell you the impact he had on my budding career. I cherished the times we got together in recent years and often reflect back on his unique personality and his approach to practicing law.”

  • Nate was a Christian, a lawyer, a man of political interests, the father of a large family, and a wonderful example to me. He showed that these things could be done and done well. I think most important was his demonstrated ability to get back up again after being knocked down hard. The fact that he was in his suit, at the office, at a time when his illness was so advanced his doctors were astonished he could do such a thing, showed how devoted to providing he was.”

And these are just a few…

”A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold.” (Proverbs 22:1)