What were the odds?

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Nate and I were born ten days apart but grew up not knowing each other, and our families didn’t meet until after we did. Our childhoods unfolded in similar ways, though, starting with wild tales told by our mothers of what it was like to labor and deliver in hospitals without air conditioning, in August. (My mother’s quote: “A trip to hell’s door.”)

This week, while looking through Nate’s old photographs, I came across a childhood parallel I’d never noticed before. I found a picture I knew I’d seen someplace else. Paging through one of Mom’s old albums, there it was. Her photo mirrors Nate’s.

The pictures were taken of each family vacationing in Silver Springs, Florida, about to take a ride on a glass-bottom boat, popular entertainment back then. They would view brightly colored fish, sunken ships and scuba divers who were busy finding treasure. In my picture, (the one on top) Dad and Mom with us kids sit in the first seats on the left side of the boat. In the other picture, Nate’s family also sits in the first seats on the left side of a boat.

So we had the same family vacation in what looks like the same old boat at the same attraction, some time in the 1950’s. Our fathers both succumbed to buying the photographs, which wasn’t typical for either of them, and both families managed to keep track of them for 50 years. What were the odds?

Mom used to tell of a similar coincidence from her past. When she was an infant, her mother would “air the baby” in a buggy each afternoon, believing children needed sunshine and fresh air. Because they lived in a Chicago neighborhood, an alley ran behind their house, across from which lived another family with children. The two families never met, but after Mom and Dad were married three decades later, the connection was made.

Dad was 13 years older than Mom so had clear memories of living in the house across the alley. He told us of seeing a woman (our grandmother) rolling her baby out into the yard each day to nap. That baby was Mom. Although her family moved away before the two could meet, once Mom and Dad compared childhood addresses and dates, they put it together. What were the odds?

I believe God puts unlikely circumstances like these together continually, around the world. He’s arranging happy “coincidences” by the millions, and is probably doing it just for his own pleasure. When he opens our eyes to “get” even one of these unlikely connections (like the glass-bottom boat or the baby carriage), we all get a big charge out of it. And as we move through the eons of life in glory with the Lord, I have no doubt he’ll reveal every instance of “chance” he orchestrated, and we will be in awe.

We’ll have plenty of “time” to listen to his cleverly executed arrangements and will be mouths-hanging-open-stunned by his ingenuity. Maybe he’ll even let us watch ourselves on a cosmic video of some sort.

But best of all, we’ll be shown it had nothing to do with chance. What were the odds?

100%

”Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works on man’s behalf!” (Psalm 66:5)

Focal Point

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All of us know a hostess with the mostest. These are the people who thrive on entertaining and happily do the work of pulling together an event for their guests. It’s delightful to be invited to one of their gatherings. As a result of careful attention to detail, guests feel welcome, sensing a certain eagerness on the part of the hostess.

Once the guests are called to the table, they can expect a feast for the palette and also for the eyes. Every good hostess appreciates the opportunity to display a dramatic centerpiece on her table. Her creative arrangement becomes a focal point for those seated around it and usually summarizes the theme of the evening. She decorates the rest of her table based on her choice of centerpiece.

She might choose a floral arrangement or a candle display. I’ll never forget a bridal shower with a beach theme and an artistic centerpiece of shells, starfish and sandals scattered over an inch of white sand. Anything goes, according to the whims of the hostess.

Occasionally a centerpiece will be so large guests can’t converse over it. Although the impression is dramatic, the result is side-to-side conversation rather than round-tabling one topic together. When this happens, a good hostess will remove her centerpiece, because bigger isn’t always better.

The most impressive centerpiece I ever set up was a display of candles in painted Swedish holders. The holders were made of wood, and while we did the dishes, they caught on fire. Before we noticed, flames had burned through the tablecloth, the table pads, the table itself and the rug. It definitely qualified as a dramatic centerpiece.

Although not all of us can be extraordinary party hosts, we do each choose a centerpiece: it’s the focal point around which we gather all the parts of our lives. Yesterday at the beach I watched a massive yacht cruise by, no doubt someone’s life-centerpiece. Other focal points might be a dream home, a fulfilling career or a certain person, possibly a child.

I‘ve been thinking about Nate in this regard. Although he was my “other half” and an everyday partner in my life, he wasn’t my centerpiece. Had he been that, his death would have caused me to push back from the table and exit the conversation of life. And that’s probably true of any centerpiece we choose. Once it disappears, we have trouble participating.

Moving forward is only possible if a new focal point is quickly established. Or we can choose to focus on the only centerpiece that can never disappear – Christ Jesus. He has been, and will continue to be, my life centerpiece. Without him, I’d feel like a guest at the table who’d been excluded from the conversation.

Nate often said, about someone enjoying one of life’s richer experiences, “He has pulled a chair up to the banquet of life.” With Jesus as our centerpiece, the banquet can be rich indeed. And he manages this even without the dramatics of a centerpiece bonfire.

“Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.” (1 Timothy 6:17)

Roadside Memorial

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We’ve all driven past small, hand-made memorials on the side of the highway, and this week I noticed a new one very near my home. Pulling off onto the grassy shoulder of the four lane road, I walked back to the cluster of items that made up the memorial. A beautiful wooden cross held a plaque that read, “Frankie L. Pipkins III, May 30, 1991, January 6, 2010.”

Frankie died at 18. I felt sick to my stomach, envisioning a horrendous car crash and a family’s shock. As I stood and studied what this young man’s loved ones had left in memory of him, I hoped maybe someone from his family might come by to visit the memorial, too. I craved more information about this teenager and wanted to ask questions of the people who loved him.

Next to the cross was a Christmas wreath decorated for the holidays with a string of red lights, silver bows and several ornaments: a pewter half-moon with an angel sitting on it next to the word “peace”, an old-fashioned Santa, and four ceramic ornaments with the words “hope, love, dream, wish.”

Also hanging from the wreath was a girl’s silver necklace with a ring on it, a pair of guy-sunglasses and two beaded necklaces with small footballs hanging from them.

Artificial sun flowers and lilies nearly hid a telling piece of the memorial. Nestled in the grass at the base of the cross was the insignia from Frankie’s vehicle. The FORD logo, still attached to a jagged piece of red metal, sent a chill up my spine. I’m not sure why anyone would place that there, but as I crouched near the ground, I saw small hunks of red metal everywhere.

Bending to pick up one piece, I realized they were all firmly embedded in the hard ground, probably driven in by the terrible impact. But just when I started to weep over this young person’s violent end, I spotted something hopeful, a note written by hand and put next to the cross:

“Psalm 115:15 – May you be blessed by the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”

Had Frankie been raised in a home where God was lifted up and his Word taught? Did he know the Lord as his personal Savior? If he did, he’s healthy and whole in paradise, possibly shaking hands with Nate. But what about his family? Are they healthy and whole? Although we had “only” 42 days with Nate, Frankie’s family had only one instant to absorb the dreadful truth.

I gathered up several stems of Queen Anne’s lace growing nearby and laid them next to the cross. If the Pipkins family ever visited their memorial, they might be encouraged to know that someone else had stopped to think about their Frankie, too.

“Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness, for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:7-8)