Sneak Peek #16

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Most young children are reluctant to end the day when it’s time to head for bed. Not only does it initiate isolation from other family members, it signifies putting toys away and ending playtime. That’s why children work to keep mommy in the room as long as possible. Unbeknownst to them, however, this strategy on their part becomes a powerful perk for mothers who want to take advantage of this tender time.

Your youngsters become especially warm to what you do during these moments, hanging on your every word. It becomes an optimal time to memorize a short line of Scripture or sing a song. I (Margaret) sang bedtime choruses to Nelson, our firstborn, starting when he was about a year old. As he learned to talk, he picked up the words, and by the time he was three, he had memorized (and could sing) fifty-five Sunday school songs.

These short choruses were full of God’s truth, simplified for children, and as the two of us continued singing, Nelson often asked questions about the words, attentive to my answers. Be sure to include a prayer of blessing over your child before you leave the room. God is there listening to you and loves to answer a mother’s heartfelt prayers.

These bedtime suggestions might sound elaborate and time consuming, but the whole thing can be done in just a few minutes. Think of it as the most valuable part of your routine, even more important than having a bath or brushing teeth.

As you step out of the room, along with your “night-night, honey,” conclude this time with something uplifting. “I love you very much, darling,” or “See you in the morning!” Staying positive is better than, “I hope you’ll do better tomorrow.” Try to express unconditional love . . . one more time.

SIDEBAR:  POTENTIAL FOR EVERY DAY

  • Hug your child.
  • Say I love you.
  • Praise your child.
  • Compliment your child for any job done.
  • Kiss your child.
  • Tell him you’re glad he’s yours.

Sneak Peek #15

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Comparing kids as you decide which classes, teams, or activities to register for can yield a helpful list of reasons why or why not. Second-borns, for instance, almost always follow a path different from their firstborn siblings. A wise mother understands this and doesn’t attempt to make one childhood identical to another. If she insists on uniformity, at least one of her children isn’t being accepted for who he really is.

Studying your children can be a complicated business. After noticing their different leanings, moms automatically compare them to each other. But remind yourself often that from God’s perspective, each stands alone and no talent or gift makes one child superior to another. Even what appears to be a weakness can change into a strength in His hands.

One other caution: since logic says you’ll view your children through your own innate talents, it’s important not to elevate one child over another just because his bent matches yours. Though you may relate more naturally to that youngster, be careful you don’t favor him without realizing it. Both the favored and the unfavored will eventually pick up on it, and the result will be anger and resentment–toward you and the sibling.

Ephesians 6:4 says, “Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them” (NLT). In other words, if you treat them incorrectly, anger will be the inevitable result. The last half of the verse describes how to treat them well. “Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

As you learn all you can about how each of your children is wired, what different instructions do you think God has attached to them? Ask yourself, which activities would work best for her? What encouragement from you will validate the way she was made? What approach will partner with what God is already doing in her life? Raising children is a difficult job, and doing it one by one makes it more so. But your frustrations will be less and disappointments fewer if you follow God’s lead.

SIDEBAR: RESULTS OF COMPARING

  • Feelings of inferiority
  • Unnecessary jealousy
  • Deep emotional wounds
  • A sense of being unloved
  • Extra stress in mommy
  • Denial of natural bents
  • Aggression between children

Sneak Peek #14

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Though it’s true a mother’s work is never done, that shouldn’t be the banner superimposed over your calling as a mom. Knowing where you fit in the grand scheme of things can revolutionize every minute of every day. Mothering the specific children sent to you by God can then become one of life’s greatest pleasures . . . even when changing your thousandth diaper.

It’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves, especially when we’re stretched to the limit. And it doesn’t help that today’s mothers are not lifted up and encouraged by society as they were in generations past. Moms who forfeit careers to stay home with their children are especially snubbed, but they ought never to base their opinion of themselves on what the culture says.

Followers of Christ find their identity in Him, the One who doesn’t change through the generations. Every Christian mother ought to define her value as Scripture defines it, which is to take her worth from what the Lord says. After He made the first man and woman, His assessment of all He created went from good to very good (Genesis 1:31).

He’s made each of us—including you—with the same great care and ascribes the same great value to every one of us, since we’re all made in His image. He breathed an eternal soul into you, and by Christ’s death, has made a way to save that soul. He’s offered to live within you to guide, encourage, help, and affirm you as needed. In other words, He wants to be your God on a personal level, one-on-one. Knowing all this should give you the strong confidence that you are of great worth.

And there’s something else. He’s given you children to raise, specific work to do in specific ways, and He daily offers to equip you for the task. The Lord highly esteems children, which is why raising them is important work. Though today’s world might demean the role of mothering, God doesn’t ever want you to feel demeaned as you do it.

SIDEBAR: 

SCRIPTURAL ENCOURAGEMENT FOR YOU:

  • Jeremiah 29:11
  • Proverbs 3:5–6
  • Joshua 1:9
  • Psalm 116:1–2
  • Jeremiah 33:3
  • Psalm 68:19
  • Romans 8:38–39
  • Philippians 4:19
  • 2 Corinthians 9:8
  • Psalm 145:18–19
  • Romans 8:28
  • Jeremiah 31:3
  • John 15:26–27
  • Hebrews 12:1–3