Although my old boyfriend was still popping up here and there, Nate chose to believe that “his Meg” had drawn a line in the sand and wouldn’t cross it. My words said so, and he embraced it with all his heart. Though I wasn’t ready to say yes to an engagement and the marriage that would follow, he was convinced it would happen… eventually.

As for my church friend and our continued dates, my journal told the tale:

Although he and I always have great times when we’re together, it probably isn’t fair to keep the relationship going. He’s drawn to me, but feeling a little uneasy about it. I’m drawn to him but feel a little guilty about it. Nate knows about him, but he doesn’t know about Nate. None of that seems right.

I decided to let the relationship slowly dwindle by being unavailable, though I knew that might be painful for both of us. But as I began that process, God took care of the rest. My friend decided on his own that we ought to take a break. On our last date as we talked about this, I felt a twinge of sadness – but I knew it was the right thing to do. It also meant turning full-face toward Nate, no holds barred.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. Your wonderful letters to me have all meant so much. You are faithful in writing, and I love each one. For example, last night I came in very late for a weeknight (2:00 AM) with my arms loaded with junk, very tired, dirty, and longing for sleep. And the first thing that greeted me was 2 ivory-colored letters from Champaign. I threw all my bundles down and ripped open the letters, reading them both twice and wishing I could call you. You made me feel so loved at that moment. What woman wouldn’t like that? I always feel good after reading what you write to me.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dear Meg. My prayer list, which has many items, includes a prayer thanking the Lord that I fell in love with a Christian woman. You have a very healthy outlook on life, and I find myself really needing you. I love you.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m very much looking forward to meeting your folks this Saturday. But oh boy, am I nervous. I’m even breaking out in pimples. But hopefully it’ll be a lot of fun, too. And some negative news: I put a big dent in the bumper of my fabulous Corvette while doing a swift parallel parking job this morning. Drat.

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Nate. Your phone call at midnight last night was the highlight of my day! I was so exhausted that I had come in at about 8:00 PM and plunked down on my bed for a quick nap. The list of what I needed to do in the evening was long, but I actually woke up with your call! After we said goodbye, I went right back to sleep and slept through. Ahhh. This morning I feel fantastic… with enough energy for lots of extra kisses, if you were a little closer than Champaign! See you at 10:00 AM Saturday with an expectant, enthusiastic smile. I’m looking forward to meeting your folks, but not half as much as I’m looking forward to seeing you.   Love to you, Meg

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Meg. I cannot wait until the morning. There is a special feeling within me when I know I will see you in a few hours: a kind of happy anxiety. I love you very much. If you accept me by fall, an engagement then until the following summer will allow us to be absolutely certain.

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ll probably see you before you get this, but it’ll be nice to get a letter after I’m gone. I always love to come home to a letter from you. It makes it easier to accept the departure when I know your greeting is waiting. My parents are looking forward to spending time with you 2 weeks from now. We’ll have lots of fun when you come. You can take my newly-tuned Corvette for a fast spin. I won’t be taking too many fast spins for a while, at least not till I get back down to 1 traffic ticket again.

“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)