Recently I received a long letter laced with powerful criticisms. My immediate response was a racing heart, followed by a passionate desire to defend myself against the charges.
That is, until God tapped on my brain and said, “Isn’t some of that true?”
Feeling like a child who’d been put in her proper place, I had to answer yes. But was I supposed to do nothing after reading a letter like that? As always, God was ready with an answer. “I’ll let you know what to do.”
That same afternoon I picked up the Duggar’s book A Love That Multiplies and opened to where I’d last dog-eared the page several weeks ago. Wouldn’t you know, the next chapter was, “Coping with Criticism.” Some might call it coincidence, but I call it God.
People who watch cable TV all seem to have an opinion about the Duggar family. Since they’re following scriptural guidelines to run their family (19 children) and businesses, they’ve garnered both criticism and praise from the watching public. I admire them for going against the grain of society and loudly proclaiming they believe the Bible contains the answer to every problem.
As I read how they cope with criticism, I realized they were in the big leagues of disapproval, receiving many scathing emails daily (sprinkled among the complimentary ones). In my case, I was dealing with only one letter.
Michelle Duggar (the mom) said, “Criticism always hurts, especially when it’s true,” which was exactly what I was feeling. But then she said, “That’s an opportunity for growth.”
I knew she was right. So, if I would allow God to break down my pride, improvement could be made. If I wouldn’t, it couldn’t.
Jim Bob (the dad) wrote, “When criticisms are true, we can learn from them if we stop ourselves from defending or justifying our actions. If they’re lies, we can learn how to correctly respond according to the Bible.” Then he added that he and Michelle teach their children never to argue with their attackers but (gulp) to pray for them instead.
So God had followed through, letting me know how to respond to both true criticisms and false ones. But there was more. Both Michelle and Jim Bob agreed that criticisms ought to be viewed not only as something to work around but as blessings, quoting Matthew 5:11-12: “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you…. ” (Matthew 5:11)
So God’s instructions were to skip self-defense, work on correcting what’s been rightly criticized, pray for my accuser, and consider myself blessed to have received the letter. Then he wants me to turn my reputation over to him. As Michelle said, “We obey God… and don’t worry about what others think.”
“Pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)