Everyday life forces decisions on all of us, some of them lightweight, others very heavy. But what’s the best way to make a decision when every choice is bad?
Our canine friend Jack is nearing the end of his life, handing us a heavy question. What’s the most loving way to deal with him, now that he’s old and infirm? In other words, when is pet-euthanasia kind, and when is it not?
Though technically Jack belongs to Louisa and Birgitta, they grew up and left home, which is when he became “mine.” God’s timing was perfect in that, since it happened simultaneously with Nate’s going to heaven. But for Jack, that was half-a-lifetime ago, and much has changed for both of us since then.
As my pain has calmed, his has climbed, which is why the girls and I are sensing we’re coming up against this rough decision. And we’re having lots of trouble making it.
Is there ever a right time to schedule that last appointment with a vet? Or should we wait? But then, wait for what? for one more thing to go wrong? for Jack to stop eating? or go into hiding? or fall down the stairs (again) and do damage this time?
In one week Birgitta, Emerald, and I will be leaving home for an extended period of time, me for about a month, she much longer. [Next blog] Though we’ve worked diligently to find daily care for Jack, we’ve been unsuccessful. But even if we had succeeded, we know being alone at all is very difficult for him right now. He claws at doors and howls to get close to us, new signs of his decline.
Besides, what if he had a crisis with no one nearby to help him? Would it be fair to abandon him while he’s so needy? And even if we could find good care, would we wrongly be transferring our difficult decision to someone else?
Though I’m filled with joy as I share this week with our daughter and her family in Florida, my pal Jack back home (with Birgitta caring for him) is constantly on my mind.
Yesterday I called Jack’s vet to talk about end-of-life issues for him. If we decided on euthanasia, exactly how would it go for him? For us? Though she patiently answered my questions, she couldn’t help me with the timing problem. The pressure of our upcoming trip makes us think no decision should be made right now. But simultaneously that same trip is forcing one.
Yesterday someone suggested God might have lined up these exact circumstances for just that reason – knowing we’d be unable to make this decision for Jack any other way.
As the Creator (of Jack and us) often does, He sent wise counsel through others who have had to make this same “bad” decision. And each of their stories has helped lighten our heavy thoughts. Most have ended their comments with the same advice: “Don’t wait too long.”
Before I hung up with the vet, I made an appointment – Jack’s last. In my heart I know it’s the best of our bad choices, but it still felt pretty bad. The only thing that made it tolerable was knowing we do have an option to cancel….
The righteous care for the needs of their animals. Proverbs 2:10