As I was buying a bus ticket for my trip to Nate’s cadet graduation at Ft. Riley, he was sitting with pen and paper, contemplating his last letter to me before we would be together for good. He put a great deal of thought into his last written words and decided to detail what life would be like for me, once I became his wife.
As he let his mind wander into our future together, he wrote down a string of beautiful promises any young bride would find exhilarating. His letter is quoted in its entirety below. Please excuse one reference to “passionate physical love.” I considered leaving it out (since this is a G-rated blog) but that seemed wrong. After all, Nate was a hearty young man of 23, and he was just being honest.
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July 22, 1969 – Dearest Meg.
You wrote in your last letter that I complimented you frequently. I love to say sweet, good things about you, to you, because my love is a prism which receives the white light of your beauty, intelligence and spirituality, and resolves it into a million radiant shades of other virtues. My love made me cognizant of the superb qualities you have. I thank the Lord every day several times for you and the complete reciprocity of your love.
I will always love, care for, protect, and guide you. I’ll be a strong shoulder to cry on and will help with pain, help to rejoice, to wait on you, bring you oranges for your breakfast in bed, make passionate physical love to you for your satisfaction and mine, buy you anniversary, birthday, Christmas presents, presents for all occasions and non-occasions, compliment you, praise you, read the Bible and secular books to you, play music, feed you grapes, carry you to bed, rub your back, bring you chocolate, make you hot cocoa, and bite your ears.
I’ll pray for you and with you, worship with you, attend prayer meeting with you. I’ll enjoy our relatives with you. I’ll help you with our babies in every way from holding your hands in parturition* to telling teenage daughters when they can date. I’ll be your man, lover, husband – unified in Christ with you.
Love, forever and ever, Nate
* the process of bringing forth young
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Nate’s letter, written with eloquence and thoughtfulness, was in sharp contrast to what I’d done. My “grand finale” had been to send 10 humorous greeting cards.
His sent one significant page, the result of serious reflection on what unconditional love for his future wife ought to look like. And he didn’t stop there.
As he wrote, he made a personal pledge to do all 33 of those things for/to/with me after we became husband and wife. He was a man who believed that marriage promises were to be kept, and he fully intended to follow through exactly as Scripture instructed in Numbers 30:2. “When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said.” (Numbers 30:2)
As I prepared to marry Nate, I had nowhere near the understanding of marriage that he had… nor the depth of commitment. But I would soon learn.
“Let us pursue what makes for… mutual upbuilding.” (Romans 14:19)