If cancer strikes someone we love, it has a way of dictating an uncertain future for the one who’s sick but also for those surrounding her. In most cases, cancer becomes a family affair. Those who haven’t been demonstrative suddenly begin hugging each other, and everybody goes out of their way to be kind. Fresh bonds are formed, and declarations of love become easier to make.
These are some of the positives God brings when circumstances seem the most negative. But how much nicer is it when families have practiced kindness and love all along, before the crisis? None of us should wait for an emergency to work at forming strong bonds or to start hugging. Families can weather storms much better when harmony is already a way of life.
Three months ago Mary turned 70. As a special birthday treat her children created a book of notes, photos, and greeting cards from family and friends, each one a tribute to their mom. Naturally her extended family was well represented in the album, along with scores of others. But when the messages were written, no one knew the birthday girl would soon be coping with cancer.
Life’s crises tend to come on us suddenly, often taking us by complete surprise. And frequently the chaos of crisis events doesn’t give us time to mend relationships or right wrongs before it’s too late. Regret sets in, and we are saddened to know we lost our chance to say and do all the good stuff before it was “forced” by circumstances. A better approach would be to steadily work at those things as we go along, day by day, keeping short accounts with those we love.
This week while texting back and forth with Mary I asked how she was feeling. Her answer was interesting. “I’ve been sitting in the sun [their condo has a southern exposure] reading my birthday book, overwhelmed by it all.”
If Mary’s kids had waited to make her birthday book until after her diagnosis, every single message would have made reference to her cancer, whether directly or indirectly, and the whole thing would have taken on a sad feel. How much more nourishing for her to be drenched in warmth this week, both from sunshine streaming through the windows and pre-cancer love radiating from her album.
Love should flow through all of us, certainly during times of crisis, but it should be just as evident on ordinary, nothing-special days.
“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)
Mary’s prayer praises:
- Praise for feeling pretty good and sleeping well
- Praise for so many encouraging cards/notes
- Praise for the richness of God’s Word
- Praise for a supportive, caring family