Four years ago today, Nate and I sat in front of 8 doctors and learned his body was full of cancer. In that 2 hour meeting we also learned he wasn’t going to live much longer. I sometimes wonder if September 22 will always be part of a strange equation in my mind:

September 22 + medical news = death sentence.

It might just as well be:

September 22 + cancer = hopes dashed.

When I think of the specific hopes that were destroyed that day, the list is long:

• the hope Nate would have relationships with our grandchildren
• the hope he’d be able to attend the remaining family weddings
• the hope we would travel together
• the hope he would be the one to wrap-up his own legal practice one day
• the hope I’d be able to ask his advice for many years to come

…and so much more. Since the memory of September 22 is all bad, should that day be deliberately remembered each year?

As always, I asked God what he wanted me to think about that, and he told me, showing me how often the Bible promoted looking back, even at the bad stuff. For instance, he said to the Israelites, “Remember when you were slaves and couldn’t change your destiny for 400 years?” But then he added, “Remember also how I ended it in one day?” It’s another equation:

400 + God’s plan = freedom

In scores of scriptural examples God directed people back to dark memories but always linked them to his presence there: “Remember how you were trapped between a vicious army and a deep sea? But please don’t forget how I rearranged your situation 100% in just a few minutes!” The equation:

military disaster + breath of God = 100% safety

In other words, God urges us to go back to difficult days but not for the purpose of wallowing in their misery. Instead he wants us to recognize that he was in those exact circumstances at the same time we were, adding good to all the bad. He knows we have a hard time spotting him in the midst of a crisis, but when the emergency is over, he wants us to look back and see where he was active during those days.

So now, as I think back to September 22, 2009, I also remember that that was the day God made a promise to us that he wouldn’t leave us alone or defenseless for even one minute throughout our ordeal, and he didn’t. Though he doesn’t usually remove a crisis immediately after it arrives, he does move himself tightly into it, providing supernatural strength and explaining powerful lessons about his sufficiency that always surround us when we’re experiencing trouble. He wants us to understand that every set-back is simply a set-up for his blessing.

So today, in remembering that sad September 22, God gave me a brand new equation to replace the old one:

September 22 + cancer = God’s presence with us!

“Let those on the hunt for you sing and celebrate. Let all who love your saving way say over and over, ‘God is mighty!’ ” (Psalm 70:4)